nervous for 2nd NB- help
PortlandValentineBride
member
Hi Ladies,
I am nervous to go through natural birth again. Way more nervous this time than last. If you could share your experience with #2 (or more-) it would help me get confident that I can do it again.
Why don't I give you a little background:
With my son, I was in labor for 52 hours. I did take hypnobirthing and it did help the first 48 hours, but then I felt like it really held me back. Turns out I need to be vocal during labor and pushing and I felt like I was doing something wrong because of the teachings of hypnobirthing. Also, it hurt like a b!tch and I lost my mind. I mean, I was calm and all on the outside, but the pain sent me to another world. I was so out of it when my son arrived I was not able to be present in the moment or enjoy his first few hours in the world. Maybe that is less important than a drug free birth- I am not sure. I did have an amazing high, but as the days wore on I think I had PTSD from birth. I have PTSD from ten years ago, and have since read you are more likely to develop it from birth if you have had it before.
When I hear friends talk about their birth with epidural, it sounds mostly way more pleasant. Natural birth is important to me but I am nervous and unsure how to prepare this time around. I do not want to revisit hypnobirthing, but think something more mechanical would work for me- I was able to connect to the baby's head opening my cervix (VERY slowly---) and all of that but never felt the urge to push. I hope to experience that this time and I also hope labor is shorter.
Just looking for some words of encouragement if you have a minute. Many thanks.
Re: nervous for 2nd NB- help
With DD her labor was 17.5 hours from the first contraction I could no longer sleep through to holding her in my arms. DS was 5hr10min (2-2.5 hours or 'real' contractions, before that it felt like timeable Braxton Hicks). Pushing was infinitely easier the second time. With DD I pushed for an hour, with DS it only took 2 pushes. DS was 13oz heavier than DD and had a head that was in the 75%, DD's was only in the 25%.
Recovery was easier, had fewer mood swings, BFing was easier, just felt better! The only thing that was harder was how quickly my labor went, it went from being barely noticeable to hard contractions almost instantly. With DD it was sort of this nice slow build up.
Oh and I never felt much of an urge to push either. I labored DD down for at least an hour and a half because it just felt like pressure. With DS it was the triage nurse who asked if I felt like pushing and when the MW came to check me DH could visibly see the head and still I didn't feel much of an urge. My bag of waters never broke, so I'm sure that was part of it. But I think some women never have that "Woah, I need to push NOW" feeling.
I liked Hypnobirthing, but perhaps you could try Bradley?
I was scared for my second natural birth as well (in a way I totally wasn't for my first). DD#1 I labored for 17hrs with 3hrs active labor and some back laboring. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pull it off again. But I also felt more confident in some ways and relaxed because I knew what was coming and that no one would be able to push me around and make me do anything I didn't want to.
My second came on really fast with water breaking...and went quickly into three hours of active labor and pushing (less back labor! yay!). It was a totally different labor in some ways (different in that pushing was all ineffective and ring of fire) , and familiar in others (like I knew when transition was coming, and what techniques worked for me, etc). Contraction pain was sucky again...but totally still manageable like last time. And having a newborn babe in your arms in the end is still the biggest rush. You can do it!
All I can say is.... I CAN RELATE!! My husband and I were just having this discussion today actually. I am super scared I will have a similar experience to my 1st borth. I am due with my 2nd baby this summer. My first labor was 31hrs. I arrived at the hospital after being in labor for 16hrs and contractions 3-4min apart, lasting for 1min. I didn't expect to be "far", but I at least expected to be 5-6. Ummm.... no, I was 2.5cm and I had NO cervical change since my last OB appt 4 days earlier. WHAAAAAAAAAT??? I consented to the epidural, and I finally got that around 21hrs into labor. However, my blood pressure dropped quickly (77/30), and I felt sooooo terrible. Like, I thought I was dying. Seriously. They gave me medicine to bring it back up, which made my heart race. It took a good 4-5hrs to feel good again. And I still didn't deliver for another 6hrs after that. OMG, wow. I have PTSD just writing this.
Sooooooooo thats why this time, I am considering a natural birth. So although our 1st birth experiences are different (natural vs. epi), the length of labor and "bad" experiences, are what we share. I am looking forward to other's responses. Thanks for the post, and good luck to you w/ whatever you choose!!!!!
I met with a doula a couple months ago. She recommended I read the book "A Easier Childbirth". It deals a lot with the anxiety leading up to birth. I purchased it on my kindle, and I've found that it help to recognize your anxieties of labor, birth, motherhood, etc, so that you can adequately cope with labor. Check it out
https://www.amazon.com/An-Easier-Childbirth-Birthing-Normally/dp/0962523143/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367198027&sr=8-1&keywords=the+easier+childbirth