Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
SilentSymphony
member
Re: Second C-Section Jitters!
In my experience, the first c-section was harder for the first few days, but my second took longer to recover from in general. With my first, I had to max out my morphine pump just to get up to pee, with my second, I was walking halls with minimal pain as long as I kept up with my meds.
There are other factors, of course. My first was an emergency under general anesthesia, while my second was planned and I actually had to get up and walk to NICU in order to see my son. As for recovery, I had a lot of help with my first and only a week's worth of help with my second before I was on my own (also more things that HAVE to get done around the house).
Like most others, my second was actually easier, even though I went into labor before the second (scheduled) c-section and had been laboring for about 18 hours before the surgery.
My first was also a scheduled c-section, but I think there's something about knowing what to expect the second time around that makes the second easier somehow. Or maybe it's because you have your first LO waiting for you at home. In fact, I went home two days early after the second because I was doing so well and was only on ibuprofen, and because I couldn't wait to get home to first DS.
A little advice though, if you remember during your second c-section, ask the doctor what he/she thinks about you having a third. The doctor can tell you then whether you're likely good to have a third (c-section) or whether you shouldn't because of scar tissue, thickness of your uterine scar, etc. Whether you intend to have a third or not, it's helpful to at least know. I remember asking and the doctor told me my first scar had healed very nicely and that I could easily have a third c-section. Even though we didn't intend on getting pregnant again, we did (while on the pill) and will be having our third c-section in August.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
She's already had one. People choose repeat c-sections over VBACs for lots of reasons (I did) and sometimes do not have the option to VBAC at all. I'm not sure it's appropriate to second-guess the OP's reasons for having an RCS unless she asks. It's normal to have anxiety about an RCS even if you choose one.
To answer the question, my second recovery might have been *slightly* harder than my first, but that was because I was just taking ibuprofen/tylenol for pain relief, as I'd discovered after my first c/s that I'm allergic to Percoset. I think I also pushed myself harder after my RCS than I did after my first; I left the hospital a lot sooner and should probably have given myself more time in the first week to recover. But I definitely don't feel like it was worse otherwise, and I think most people have easier recoveries the second time around; it can just be harder to take it easy if you already have a LO at home.
Read the subject line. Repeat c section. Lol.
I've always heard it was harder, but most people associated that with also having a toddler/preschooler at home. So you don't really rest and recover.
However, I just got off of the phone with a client who said her second was so much easier than the first.
I'll say I'm more nervous this time. With my first I had a pretty good recovery and I'm worried this time won't be as easy. I swear, ignorance is bliss!
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
My IF blog