How would you handle this? — The Bump
Pre-School

How would you handle this?

My 2 1/2 year old dd has been giving me some trouble with breakfast.  She usually is up before her brother and immediately wants breakfast.  She requests what she wants, usually oatmeal.  Problem is, once her brother is up a few minutes later, so will suddenly want what he's having and refuse to eat what I had made her and cry for quite a while.

I've tried to avoid this problem by trying to get her to wait until he wakes up because I know she's going to want what he's having, but she cries and wants food.  

I am sick of wasting food and refused to make her the toast she wanted after I made her the oatmeal she originally requested.  She cried for a while and finally is sitting to eat the oatmeal. 

My question is: is that too harsh for a 2 year old?   She's kind of young to understand about wasting food, but still, it's a shame to waste food.

Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

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Re: How would you handle this?

  • I'd maybe offer milk or something to tie her over until breakfast.  Ds was starving before I had made breakfast so he had a handful of peanuts.  It worked well because he still ate breakfast just fine and I didn't have to listen to him whine.
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  • imagebakerlm:
    I'd maybe offer milk or something to tie her over until breakfast.  Ds was starving before I had made breakfast so he had a handful of peanuts.  It worked well because he still ate breakfast just fine and I didn't have to listen to him whine.

    I've tried, but she insists on "Yum yum", her word for a meal.  I'll keep trying though.

    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

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  • imagefredalina:
    Yeah, I'm thinking milk and a few grapes or berries might help bridge the time.

    I'll have to try again because dang it, she wants what he wants...lol.  Then I get to listen to him whining that "Ava always gets what I get!".  

    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

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  • imageLuhdashuh:
    imageExpectantSteelerFan:

    DD does this too, only we basically just eat cereal for breakfast.  The first words out of her mouth when I get her in the morning are usually what cereal she wants, but she changes her mind a lot, esp. when ds wants something different than she has.

    For us, I've decided it's just not a battle worth fighting.  I give her a tiny amount of what she asks for, and if she finishes it she can have more, and if she wants something else I just give it to her and ds either finishes what she originally had or we save it for later.  

    this. Coud you give her a smaller portion of oatmeal and save the rest for the next day or for somebody else to eat? And then give her a small portion of what your ds has. DD2 basically grazes from 630-730 when everyone is done with breakfast. 

    I like all of this. I would also consider having it ready at 630 and get her up if she isn't up so there is more of a chance that she'll finish (I would only do this if she always is up right around 630).  OORR.  I would tell her yes to the oatmeal as soon as she gets dressed.  You can use a visual schdule, too.   

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

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  • IMO, not too harsh.  

    Can you hold her off with something small like some berries or a banana and then wait till your son wakes up?  

    If not, I would ask her is she wants to wait.  If she doesn't then she can pick but then that is what she gets. 


  • I don't think it's too harsh for that age.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • imagefredalina:
    imageechowysp2:

    imagefredalina:
    Yeah, I'm thinking milk and a few grapes or berries might help bridge the time.

    I'll have to try again because dang it, she wants what he wants...lol.  Then I get to listen to him whining that "Ava always gets what I get!".  

    Well, the original question was whether it's asking a 2 year old too much to wait to eat until her brother wakes up. I think if you give her food, by not necessarily a full meal, you've done your job until brother wakes.

    Oops, no I was asking if it's too much to ask her to eat what she originally asked for, not what she suddenly is claiming she wants because she wants what her brother wants.  I wouldn't make her wait unless she could easily.  When I've tried to hold her over with a bit of food or milk, she cries and demands oatmeal.  I can keep trying though.

    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2cetfet.jpg[/IMG]
  • imageLuhdashuh:
    imageExpectantSteelerFan:

    DD does this too, only we basically just eat cereal for breakfast.  The first words out of her mouth when I get her in the morning are usually what cereal she wants, but she changes her mind a lot, esp. when ds wants something different than she has.

    For us, I've decided it's just not a battle worth fighting.  I give her a tiny amount of what she asks for, and if she finishes it she can have more, and if she wants something else I just give it to her and ds either finishes what she originally had or we save it for later.  

    this. Coud you give her a smaller portion of oatmeal and save the rest for the next day or for somebody else to eat? And then give her a small portion of what your ds has. DD2 basically grazes from 630-730 when everyone is done with breakfast. 


    I might have to do this.  She likes her oatmeal cold (yes, cold.... I make it with cold tap water...shudder), so I can try to feed her the rest later.

    This wasn't a problem when they both ate the same stuff every morning, but now ds changes what he wants for breakfast every morning, so it's hard to guess

    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

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  • image-auntie-:

    I think a piece of this is that food issues seem to be common at your house and that perhaps too much choice is offered. It's like you're running a diner.

    Maybe offer a set menu from which she can select- today is waffles, tomorrow is oatmeal- along with milk/yogurt and fruit- for everyone. You could post a picture schedule.

    I don't feel like food is an issue, nor do I run a diner.  They have like 4 things they chose from for breakfast.  They eat what they're given usually.  It's just that she's in a phase where she wants what her brother wants, so if he's not up yet and then chooses something different, she suddenly wants that.

    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

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  • DD2 will do this, except she easily eats both breakfasts. She might ask for oatmeal, so we'll make one pack of instant oatmeal. Then she wants toast too because I made myself toast, so I either share or give her 1/2 a piece. Or she'll ask for cereal like her sister, so I'll get her a small bowl of cereal. She eats the most in the morning, so she generally finishes everything and sometimes asks for more. We don't usually have a morning snack, and she doesn't eat a lot for dinner, so I've never worried about the quantity of food she eats in the morning. I think I'd just make your portion sizes smaller so she can easily eat what she chooses and what her brother does.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
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  • image-auntie-:
    imageechowysp2:
    image-auntie-:

    I think a piece of this is that food issues seem to be common at your house and that perhaps too much choice is offered. It's like you're running a diner.

    Maybe offer a set menu from which she can select- today is waffles, tomorrow is oatmeal- along with milk/yogurt and fruit- for everyone. You could post a picture schedule.

    I don't feel like food is an issue, nor do I run a diner.  They have like 4 things they chose from for breakfast.  They eat what they're given usually.  It's just that she's in a phase where she wants what her brother wants, so if he's not up yet and then chooses something different, she suddenly wants that.

    My bad. I must've mistaken you for the mom who was concerned a few wweks ago about her preschool aged son, who have previously eaten a good selection of different kinds of foods, becoming pickier. This mom commented that her much older son had always been a picky eater and that she often made him a different meal than the rest of the family. It stuck in my mine because I though the older son looked old enough to fix himself something if he didn't care for what the rest of the family was eating.

    I did post a few weeks ago about how my 4 year old suddenly found veggies he always loved to be yucky, but no, I don't make him a different meal other than having the kids have soy dogs when I make something spicy.  I will make more kid friendly meals for the days we have my stepson, who is picky.  But yeah, I don't think that was me. 

    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2cetfet.jpg[/IMG]
  • Bump burp
    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2cetfet.jpg[/IMG]
  • I really try to avoid becoming a short order cook in my house.  At the same time, I don't want to be totally inflexible, and I want to give the kids choices. This can be tough, especially when you have a toddler in the mix!

    I agree with pp's that the best path is to offer the little one a healthy pre-breakfast snack, then let both kids decide on breakfast when they're both up and ready to eat.  

    You may want to talk to them and help them make a list (with pictures) of all the breakfast choices they can agree on, then allow them to take turns choosing breakfast from that list.  Then both kids have the same meal.   Or rotate through the list so everyone knows what's on the "menu" for breakfast that day.  This takes some of the negotiating out of the morning.  Then when you make your LO breakfast it's already going to be the same as whatever your son will have when he gets up.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • We just say today we're having cereal/oatmeal/eggs whatever. Not that they don't ever have a choice but usually they just get what I'm making. We also eat together. If they want a snack before breakfast is ready that is fine. They have access to fruit and nuts and will usually help themselves. Every family is different though so do what works but that works well for us.
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  • I would probably limit the breakfast options - so bigger brother can't keep switching up what he wants.

    So. .. 2-3 options are availabe for everyone, every day - you can switch them every day if you want - but you decide what the options are.

    I'd also tell little sister she can have a snack before big bro wakes up if she wants - cheese, banana, slice of bread, etc. or she can have her breakfast when she wakes up.  If she wants to do breakfast with him after he gets up, she can eat what he has if she's finished the earlier breakfast.

     

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  • Dont give in to her. It just sets a precedent. If she insists on eating and picks oatmeal, she eats oatmeal. Not harsh. They understnad more than we give tthem credit for.  OR you might try waking everyone up together so they all pick at the same time.

  • Not too harsh.  For my 2 and 5 YOs, you can change your mind up to the time I start making it.  Once that happens, no changsies.  They may not like it for a few minutes, but they always eat.
  • image3sthecharm:
    Dont give in to her. It just sets a precedent. If she insists on eating and picks oatmeal, she eats oatmeal. Not harsh. They understnad more than we give tthem credit for.nbsp; OR you might try waking everyone up together so they all pick at the same time.


    This exactly. If you pick it, you eat it. If you are still hungry when you are finished you may have something else. No snacks before the meal is ready. 2 year olds can understand this.
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  • I just wouldn't give them the choice.  I would offer a variety of meals over the course of the week, but Monday would be oatmeal, tuesday waffles, wednesday eggs and sausage, etc.  I usually make the choice and they both eat it... I do give them 3+ things on their plate so even if they don't like the "main" dish they eat something else on their plate.  

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  • imagemeldoo2002:
    I just wouldn't give them the choice.  I would offer a variety of meals over the course of the week, but Monday would be oatmeal, tuesday waffles, wednesday eggs and sausage, etc.  I usually make the choice and they both eat it... I do give them 3+ things on their plate so even if they don't like the "main" dish they eat something else on their plate.  

    I actually don't mind giving them a choice at breakfast between 3 things we usually eat or at lunch between 2 choices (do you want soup or a sandwich?).  My mom never really let me choose and I like them having some choice.  Dinner is one where I make one meal and if it's too spicy, they can have a soy dog.

    I think I'm going to go with making her stick with her choice.  The last time I did it, she eventually ate it after fussing for awhile.

    Formerly Known as Echowysp (or Recipe of the Day Lady)
    Come find tonight's dinner www.thatsdamngood.blogspot.com

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  • I would keep some fruit on hand, pre-cut and let her snack on that until you make the actual breakfast and then just make the kids the same thing at the same time.  You could also do cheese or some small crackers to tide her over.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • imagejalaiaa:
    We just say today we're having cereal/oatmeal/eggs whatever. Not that they don't ever have a choice but usually they just get what I'm making. We also eat together. If they want a snack before breakfast is ready that is fine. They have access to fruit and nuts and will usually help themselves. Every family is different though so do what works but that works well for us.

     We do this, also. They can have a few cheese cubes or cracker or two, and some milk if they need something. But we always just give them whatever we're making.

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