FTM with bad sleepers - will you have more kids?

DCMerged · April 2013

I haven't had a good night's sleep in almost 10 months. DH and I would like one more child, but most mornings I think there is no way I could handle another year of sleep deprivation and keep up with a toddler! Anyone else think about this? Would you do things differently with the second?

anonsouthernbell · April 2013

Ds was a "bad sleeper" but he also had undiagnosed gluten and dairy intolerance.. (We didn't figure it all out until he was 18 months old). Dd was a surprise from God and is a much better sleeper than her brother. The only thing I did different was take dairy and gluten out of my diet in the beginning and co-bedded from day 1. IMO you can't make a good sleeper. Some kids are just born "great" sleepers and some aren't. I know someone w twins and 1 sleeps great and the other not so much so that's proof enough for me!

DiveFrog · April 2013

DD has always been an okay sleeper once we get her to sleep, but until 9 months the process of getting her to sleep at night was a 2-3hr process. She was a night owl too so most nights I wasn't successful in getting her to sleep until 11:30-12:00. I survived while I was on leave until 4 months because I could nap with her when she did during the day, but when I returned to work it really, really took a toll on me.

DH has never helped at night because his job requires him to drive so we can't risk him falling asleep at the wheel, and I breastfeed so from the beginning I had to nurse to get her to sleep and when she wakes up. So the sleep deprivation has been all on me.

As bad as it has been I am still planning a second child. If I had my wish I would wait until DD was at least 2.5 to start trying, but with my age and how long it took us to get pregnant we are going to start trying this fall when DD is 1.5.

As for things I will plan to do next time....1) plan to be able to take 6 months off. from work. If our second baby is a better sleeper then I will go back at 4 months, but if not I will take 6 months off. 2) plan to have DD at preschool and being watched by my parents at their home (they currently watch her for us while we work) for the entire length of my leave. There is no way I could deal with her and a new baby all day, every week day. 3) work to establish a bedtime routine and earlier bedtime from the very beginning. With just followed DD's cues and that set a pattern that was near impossible to change when I returned to work and needed her going to bed at a decent hour) 4) Involve DH in the bedtime routine from the beginning. He started doing part of the bedtime routine when DD was around 9.5months, but only because I "screamed" for help from sheer exhaustion. I should have involved him much sooner.

LMCB12 · April 2013

Lurker here but here is where we are. We want one more baby and we are actively trying. My husband travels a lot and I stay home. Some days I think that there is no way I could handle another baby, but I want DS to have a sibling and I would rather have sleep deprivation for a three year stretch than start all over in a few years. DS has always been a night waker and I am exhausted every day. It's hard, but I try to remind myself that its not forever and I need to enjoy him now.

khill86 · April 2013

DS isn't a great sleeper and I've just come it terms with it. When I changed my expectation that this is how he is right now and one day it'll be better, it was easier to just let it go. I don't count night wakings or how many hours he sleeps at night etc. Anymore.

I did initially want at least two. I'm wavering on that now, but DS's bad sleep hasn't had anything to it. I like our little family of three and like the idea of all the things we can do for one but might not be able to do for two or more. I don't know!

If I decide on another, we'll do it. Sleep isn't a factor at this point.

kdjudd · April 2013

My daughter hasn't slept through the night yet and she turns 1 next month. I wouldn't say she is a bad sleeper necessarily (even though she wakes up at least once to eat and once to cuddle). I think she's just a normal baby. She is certainly very high needs though and hard to deal with during the day. I was debating keeping her as an only child or at least waiting 3-4 years to try again, but God had other plans and we are having a second child in October! Honestly, at first I was freaking out, but now I'm super excited. After dealing with Renee I think I can handle anything. lol

SunAndRain · April 2013

I think about this all the time only from the opposit perspective. DD is a good sleeper and still I struggle with sleep deprivation. Not all the time, but the few months after I returned from maternity leave were particularly rough. SO given how lucky I've been, I think 'What if #2 has health issues that require even more energy or impact more of my sleep? How will I survive?"

But I think, everything is temporary.

MiracleK · April 2013

Yes we will definitely have another baby, God willing. I know that the sleep deprivation will not last forever and I really want DD to have a sibling.

GromMom · April 2013

Ds will not sleep an entire night alone in his crib so somewhere between 11 & 3, he wakes up screaming until I cuddle him to sleep. He has improved over time so I'm hopeful that I can get pregnant in the next few months and he will sttn on his own by then. We really want two close in age so they will be playmates and have the potential to be close, both dh and I have siblings with huge gaps in ages, so we never got to be too close at a young age. I'm closer to my sister now, but I also moved across the county and got married and had Baby before that really happened.

alake · April 2013

DD1 was a horrible sleeper as was DD2. DD3 was four months when she started going from 7:30 AM - 6 AM, eating and then going straight back down until 8. We had a sleep regression, but I assume it was because we had flown two time zones over. For a week she went down at the same time, but got up at 4:00 to eat. Once she got used to it, she was back to her normal. At 7 months she dropped the 6 AM feed and now sleeps straight through.

violajack · April 2013

I had 31 years to sleep. I'm good. I'll get up as much as I need to for as many kids as we can have before I'm too old (or DH cuts me off).

DS sleeps on a mattress on the floor next to our mattress on the floor, so nursing him in the night is really not a big deal. We both go back to sleep very quickly. I keep telling myself after a night with a lot of waking that I'll just nap with him during the day, but it hasn't happened yet.

My loose plan (because I really have no idea how this will actually play out) is whenever I do get pregnant with the next one, to gradually move DS farther away until we get him into his own room before the next baby arrives. As it is, the night nursing is keeping AF at bay, so who knows if the next one will even happen before we naturally wean and he moves to his own room anyway.

Suzanne68 · April 2013

My daughter has reflux and we just at 11 months discovered a dairy allergy. She has NEVER slept. I myself have not slept more than 2 hrs straight myself since her birth. I def want another but not yet. I don't work anymore so I don't know how I would feel if I had to deal with the stresses of work.

Want a personalized experience?

FTM with bad sleepers - will you have more kids?

Re: FTM with bad sleepers - will you have more kids?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards