JocelynB0911
member
So I posted about a week ago about being invited, last minute to DHs friends fiancees dual baby/wedding shower. I couldnt make this sh!t up if I tried.
I took some of your advice and got them a small gift for their house. The card said "Hey! Congrats to the both of you. These new chapters in your lives are going to be amazing. I cant wait to meet your little one!". I figured DH would want to go see the baby so I didnt get a baby gift at this time but something they would be using for their home. I am one to do a bigger gift once baby arrives unless we are close, then I do a big gift for both the shower and the arrival.
The MTB/BTB was greeting at the door and the first flucking thing out of her mouth was "Wheres the other gift? Oh you must have given a nice gift card then too right?". No 'hi', no nothing.
The decorations were camo and guns, there was a wedding type cake with a topper of a pregnant bride holding a shotgun, no food at all whatsoever other than the cake, dirty floors, and I guess I didnt get the bring your own chair memo as the 'location' was only equipped with 15 chairs.
I worked an overnight last night so I was not only tired, but over dealing with dumb people. I politely pulled her aside and as a mother would "whisper scorn" (you know the stern, angry whisper our moms did when we got in trouble in public) and said, "Your other gift? You are a selfish, gift grabby little b!tch you know that right? You're lucky I showed up to this sh!t show of a 'shower' you are throwing yourself. For all I care you can go fu*k yourself." I started to walk away to leave and then turned around and ever so sweetly said "Congrats dear! Sorry I cant stay", gave her an eye roll and continued on out.
Was I wrong for saying that? Maybe. But IMO, you dont say that kind of stuff to anyone. So theres that.
ETA: I responded to one of the ladies with this but figured I post it up here unless some dont read all the responses before commenting (I am totally guilty of it!)
Yes, I know calling her a b!tch was out of line and I feel a little bad for that. I did call her fiancee (I really like him, and being DHs friend I felt it was only right) and explained the situation. I told him exactly what I said and apologized for it but before I could get it all out he said "I am surprised you held back. I would've laid into her". He went on to tell me shes been acting like people should basically pay for their baby and wedding. I dont know her family but I know his and they are all about working hard to get what you want/pay for what you need. Since they have been together she has demanded a bigger ring, a new vehicle, and a bigger house. He wasnt upset about what happened and we are good on our end.
Re: Seriously?!?! Baby and wedding shower update. Fluck
Yes, I know calling her a b!tch was out of line and I feel a little bad for that. I did call her fiancee (I really like him, and being DHs friend I felt it was only right) and explained the situation. I told him exactly what I said and apologized for it but before I could get it all out he said "I am surprised you held back. I would've laid into her". He went on to tell me shes been acting like people should basically pay for their baby and wedding. I dont know her family but I know his and they are all about working hard to get what you want/pay for what you need. Since they have been together she has demanded a bigger ring, a new vehicle, and a bigger house. He wasnt upset about what happened and we are good on our end.
Wow, doesn't sound like he thinks too highly of his fiance.
She sounds awful and greedy. I'm sure others see it as well.
I just LOL and spit my water out laughing at this post and all the responses. Thanks for the laughs ladies!
BFP #2 ~ 4/22/2010 ~ EDD 12/29/2010 ~ Born 12/19/2010 ~ My Rainbow Baby
BFP #3 ~ 6/10/2012 ~ EDD 2/20/2013 ~ HB 100bpm @ 9w3d ~ M/C 7/11/2012
BFP #4 ~ 3/16/2013 ~ EDD 11/20/2013 ~ Born 11/17/2013 ~ Rainbow Baby #2
Oh wah. It's far better to keep your mouth shut or fill her head with ideas of "ZOMG---this is the best idea ever!". That's how etiquette 'changes' through the years. One person does something, no one tells them that she's being a selfish prat and then she goes and tells 10 friends how wonderful her party was and how much everyone loved it.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Oh no I wouldn't have called her a b!tch because it's mean, but because I'd be that floored with how ungrateful she is. It probably wouldn't sink in for her that this behavior is wrong.
I agree with you. I am very opinionated and can speak my mind without swearing and calling names. If anything I wish I wouldve said what I did without calling her a b!tch BUT between being invited just last weekend, her past behaviors, and then what she said to me when I walked in, it just came out as it did. As much as I wish I could change the wording, I cant. It is what it is at this point.
No I didnt. As I walked in I handed it to her (as other people did) and she was putting them on a table behind her (she was greeting people). Even though I was not happy about what she said to me, and obviously fired back quickly with what I said, I dont think I would ever just take a gift back.
Oh give me a break, she didn't have to go anyway. She could have not gone and kept her mouth shut. The whole thing was tacky including her response.
I agree with this. If I were that angry at having been invited I would have politely declined the invitation. No one was forced to attend the event. No matter how awful the event was, calling the girl over to swear and name call is not ok.
Calling her out or not calling her out, it isn't going to prevent people from doing things like this or worse. There have always been people like this.
PP who said this is how etiquette changes, etiquette really does change over the years and so it should. Times change and what's considered polite does change. That being said, things like this were never ok and they aren't ok now. By staying away from name calling we aren't making things like her shower ok.
EDIT
I believe I said it on this post, if not it was on my BMB but I did say that I wish I would've said it in a different way. That was why I called her FI on my way home to apologize and to let him know what was said. And no, there was no yelling. Someranndomchick this is not directed at you, but I did pull her aside and said in a whisper/ soft tone what I said. There was no scene made.
I'd love to see what she would write on a thank you note.
40/112
Actually, I did read the OP. I also read the original post talking about the shower. (before it happened)
The party was thought to be inappropriate and tacky to begin with, before going, before there was any other rude behaviour. If you are invited to an event that seems tacky or rude and you decide to attend you should probably to be prepared for it to be tacky. There is no excuse for the rude behaviour of the girl demanding a present and my point is that even her rude behaviour wouldn't make name calling and swearing ok.
Name calling and swearing is more than "not ideal" and "somewhat rude" and it certainly not proper etiquette for those really concerned with it. I don't think the only choice is between swearing, name calling and letting someone treat you horribly.
OP, I understand people lose their temper. I think it was nice of you to call the fiance and talk to him and I'm glad things are ok with him.
HAHAHA! That's awesome! Sounds like it's straight from a movie! That's the sort of thing that I think about later and say, "What I SHOULD have said was..." Good for you!
She sounds like a spoiled brat.
Oh goodness! Yes, I should've used different words and at a different time but it is what it is. I have never met the girls mother and I am not even 100% sure if she was there since the mtb/btb is from a different state.
LMAO...wow, I am dying here with people talking about being "classy" and "using curse words." I don't know about you all, but I quite enjoy my freedom of speech, so if that makes me "trashy", you can kiss my grits.
If that C-U-Next-Tuesday would have said that to me when me and DH walked in, I would have done an about face with two of my favorite fingers in the air. Sometimes, you just have to put people in their place, rather than smile and be a fake and talk trash behind their back when you walk out of there. It takes more to say something to someone's face, rather than gossip what a crappy person they are behind their back. I say "BRAVO!"