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Dead beat first time mom to be

catjrootcatjroot member
in New to The Bump
Hello all,
I just found out I'm pregnant last week and am currently 6 weeks. I went off birth control last year and we've been casually trying and it happened. I've always thought I would have children but I could also see myself completely happy with no children as well. Now that it's happened, instead if getting all excited about having a child, I feel I've been mourning the loss of my numbered days of independence of doing whatever I want whenever I want. I feel like a horrible person not being stoked about bringing another life into the world. I'm sure it will be fine when the baby is here, but I feel like a deadbeat mom to be. Does any other moms to be feel this way or am I a freak of nature?
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Re: Dead beat first time mom to be

  • kate14kate14 member
    For me it comes and goes. One min I'm happy about it and then another min I'm sobbing in the stairwell at my office because I can't believe I thought I wanted this! Try to go back to when you went of BC and why you wanted this. Try to think positively and know that everything happens for a reason!
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  • kate14kate14 member
    It could also be hormones that are making you feel this way....at least that is what I have been told! :)
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    It's perfectly normal to be ambivalent about having a child. It's a big adjustment. The good news is you have 34 weeks to get ready. You might want to consider doing some independent and spontaneous things during your pregnancy as sort of a last hurrah. And some of it will still be possible with kids. It just takes extra planning.
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  • knottied2a666e3e38a2a87knottied2a666e3e38a2a87 member

    I feel the same.  I mourn my loss and celebrate my joy all the time.

     

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  • BoraBoraBabyBoraBoraBaby member
    I thought of posting this same thing. I go back and forth and mostly mourn the future loss of having DH and me time, all the time. But right now we aren't seeing the baby move and seeing our stomachs harden and round off enough to truly comprehend the miracle we have in us. I am mostly ecstatic but this feeling of loss is definitely normal. It's a huge adjustment and I think any woman who is completely happy and not the least bit scared or doubtful of her abilities to be a great mom is probably in for a hard lesson. Feel what you feel and tell yourself it's ok. You'll feel better in no time. Hugs!!
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