October 2012 Moms

OMFG DH bought a motorcycle without telling me

DH and I have been fighting this week, and he has been not speaking to me unless spoken to for four days now. This morning I finally made him talk to me about why he was still ignoring me, ended up in a big fight again, and he stormed off while I was in tears.

So now it's evening, and I just got back from picking up dinner and DH is upstairs putting DD to bed, and there's a reciept on the table. HE BOUGHT A FLUCKING MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT TELLING ME. Spent $8200 on the goddamn thing, mere days after giving me a lecture about how I was spending too much for us only having one income right now.

I'm so mad I want to spit fire. He used to have a motorcycle before we met, and he's talked about wanting one, but for god's sake isn't that the kind of purchase that needs to be discussed before it happens??? That is exactly the kind of reckless purchase that I am not ok with now that we have a child and his current company is not providing life insurance.

I have no idea if he even knows I saw the receipt. I don't even know if he's planning on telling me.

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Re: OMFG DH bought a motorcycle without telling me

  • This is completely unacceptable. I think I would need to couple's counseling ASAP because without an impartial third policy I would probably kill him. 

     

    DD 9/15/12
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  • Ho. Lee. Shittballs. I would sh!t a brick right there. I have no advice but know that I am p!ssed for you.
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  • That is unacceptable! WTF is he thinkin? Good luck tonight and I def rec a counselor.
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  • imageStarry Again:

    This is completely unacceptable. I think I would need to couple's counseling ASAP because without an impartial third policy I would probably kill him. 

     

    This. For sure. Like I'd seriously consider stabbing him in his sleep. Seriously...

    I screamed at DH today because he got a speeding ticket and completely failed to mention it. I found a bunch of attorneys notices in the mail. I yelled at him last week because he bid on a car on ebay without telling me. But he didn't end up winning so I let it go. If he bought a bike. Oh.freaking.no.


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  • No.

     

    OMG no motorcycles.   

  • Do you work or him? Is all your money combined?

    It sounds like you two really need counseling. I would out right tell him that I had seen the receipt. It sounds to me like things have reached a breaking point for you. If my DH was treating me the way yours is I would give him an ultimatum. Either go to counseling and try and fix things or find some place else to sleep. 

  • CnAnACnAnA member

    Wooow.  Just...wow.  I just.  um.  Wow.

    Ok.  First off, I am absolutely livid for you.  That is ridiculous and unacceptable. 

    I am going to go against the grain and say talk to him about it.  The important part is to be cool and calm.  This is not something to blow up at him about, especially after fighting for a while anyway. 

    I will admit, I want to stab him in the balls for you.

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  • CnAnACnAnA member
    Also, IMO, if he left it sitting on a table he wanted you to find it.

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  • imageStarry Again:

    This is completely unacceptable. I think I would need to couple's counseling ASAP because without an impartial third policy I would probably kill him. 

     

    Oh goodness, I'm sorry... I have to agree with this. 

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  • I fumed for about 30 minutes, then started to calm down and tried to figure out how to approach him. I ended up sitting on the couch next to him and asking "So can you tell me why you bought a motorcycle today without telling me?"

    He got all huffy and was all "what are you talking about?" And I said I saw the receipt and he said, "oh, that. It was just a deposit to put the bike on hold until next week so I could talk to you about it over the weekend. But I did some research on the bike when I got home and decided I didn't even want it anymore, so I didn't mention it. Do you really think I would do something like that?"

    Hmm. Ok. A plausible explanation. The paperwork was clearly there for the financing of the bike for the total cost, but the receipt did say he only paid 500 today. Still irked that he went out shopping for motorcycles but as long as he didn't actually buy anything I can't get too upset. Ugh, there is way too much stress and drama in my life right now.
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  • I disagree - you CAN get upset over a deposit.  $500 is still a significant amount of money to spend without telling you, and he made a huge purchase without consulting you.  And this is on the heels of him telling you that you're spending too much money, so he's being a hypocrite. Living on one income is tough but sacrifices have to be made.  Buying a motorcycle is NOT making a sacrifice.
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  • I would be livid and in tears, too. I had DH sell his when we got married. I'm not a fan, I've known several people who have been killed, and my 24 year old cousin was just hit by a drunk driver while riding his last night.

    Sorry  you are going through this.

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