What would you have done?

st.augbride · April 2013

Today was supposed to be my first day back in the office and taking dd to daycare where ds goes. Of course, ds brought home another lovely daycare germ this week and we all got hit, me the hardest it seems. I woke up today feeling horrible, and I know dd does too since last night was rough and she is very congested and fussy, with a low-grade temp. In other words, a terrible time to start a new daycare environment : ( Plus, if I were back to work already, I'd NEVER go in feeling like this. Dh thinks I still should have gone because they asked me to today (basically, because my boss is out and she wanted me there to supervise our intern). However, I hate when people go in still infectious, plus I think that would be the wrong move for dd. So I emailed my boss that I'll start next week instead. What would you have done? I feel bad b/c they really wanted me in today, but we are so sick.

Pips09 · April 2013

That's a toughy, but I would have gone in if I had someone else to watch DD. I wouldn't send an infant into a new daycare with a low-grade temp.

st.augbride · April 2013

ClaryPax:
I would have had DH stay home with LO and go in, but I used the 12 weeks under FMLA and would not have had any more time left.

Dh had to go in today since he had a meeting with his boss's boss about something important for him. He originally was going to be home today to stay with dd, but then this meeting came up yesterday. My maternity leave is up but I have unlimited sick leave (to of course only be used when I am truly sick). Ugh.. awkward!

cecilyandgautam · April 2013

I think you're behavior is totally reasonable and if I were your supervisor, I'd probably appreciate you not infecting the whole office. But, since you asked, I tend to do as my boss asks, even if I feel like crap so if my husband were able to stay home with the sick kids instead, I probably would have taken a Dayquil, gone in to show my face, and then left early once everyone could see how sick I am.

st.augbride · April 2013

Yeah, I wish dh could have stayed here so I could have gone in for just a few hours. Bleh... My boss isn't there today (which is why she wated me in), but at the same time, we are all infectious disease epidemiologists, so I am particularly neurotic about people going in sick.

cecilyandgautam · April 2013

Back up sickcare has also been an issue for us this past year. We've finally got some one we can call in these situations - our in-home provider's sister who's subbed a few times for our provider, so my daughter knows her, loves her, etc.

I'm sure it's fine for today. Since you're just getting back to work, it may be worth asking the other parents at your daycare what they do for backup emergencies when neither of you can take off. If your company has an employee assistance program, they may even have a service to coordinate backup care.

KathrynMD · April 2013

I'd kinda give it the side eye if I were your boss, but I can also see how it could happen.

I wouldn't worry about it too much - but I'd be super apologetic about it on Monday. And, make sure she understands YOU were sick.

2chatter · April 2013

I might have taken the morning and let DH get his meeting done, then given him DD and headed in for the afternoon. Or vice versa. Assuming I did not have a full blown fever, at which point I would have stayed home.

st.augbride · April 2013

Thanks, we do have a new backup care service, but I've never used it. My boss has though. I'll need to look into it for the future. I think if I wasn;t so sick myself, I would have just brought dd with me. It's literally myself and the intern there today, so I probably could have done that. I just feel so crappy myself though. Ok, what's done is done. My boss is so nice so I hate feeling like she might think I'm taking advantage. It was just really bad timing. I know if I were expecting someone else to come in and they were as sick as I am, I'd be annoyed if they did, but I know not everyone feels that way.

littlestjerry · April 2013

st.augbride:
Thanks, we do have a new backup care service, but I've never used it. My boss has though. I'll need to look into it for the future. I think if I wasn;t so sick myself, I would have just brought dd with me. It's literally myself and the intern there today, so I probably could have done that. I just feel so crappy myself though. Ok, what's done is done. My boss is so nice so I hate feeling like she might think I'm taking advantage. It was just really bad timing. I know if I were expecting someone else to come in and they were as sick as I am, I'd be annoyed if they did, but I know not everyone feels that way.

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Yes, I'd feel a little awkward about it if I were you, but as long as you make it clear you're not the type of person who is just looking for an excuse to to miss work with your actions here on out, your boss will forget this even happened.

skibunny59 · April 2013

KathrynMD:

I'd kinda give it the side eye if I were your boss, but I can also see how it could happen.

I wouldn't worry about it too much - but I'd be super apologetic about it on Monday. And, make sure she understands YOU were sick.

This. I would have felt bad but I would have done the same as you and NOT gone to work. I mean your leave was up but you had the sick time. If you're sick you're sick.

2chatter · April 2013

Super jealous of your back up care! We used to have that benefit, but it was cut a few years ago. I love love loved having a nurse come to the house to take care of DDs if they were sick. I could work from home and pop in to check on them, go in for any meetings, it was FABULOUS! Check it out and get it ready in case you need it, back up care is awesome.

thedash · April 2013

st.augbride:
Thanks, we do have a new backup care service, but I've never used it. My boss has though. I'll need to look into it for the future. I think if I wasn;t so sick myself, I would have just brought dd with me. It's literally myself and the intern there today, so I probably could have done that. I just feel so crappy myself though. Ok, what's done is done. My boss is so nice so I hate feeling like she might think I'm taking advantage. It was just really bad timing. I know if I were expecting someone else to come in and they were as sick as I am, I'd be annoyed if they did, but I know not everyone feels that way.

If it would have just been you and the intern, and you called out sick, then who went in to supervise the intern? Or did someone give him/her the day off? If you staying home sick meant that your boss had to cancel a planned day off then I think you should really apologize Monday and make it clear that you were very sick - much too sick to come in to the office.

st.augbride · April 2013

thedash:

st.augbride:
Thanks, we do have a new backup care service, but I've never used it. My boss has though. I'll need to look into it for the future. I think if I wasn;t so sick myself, I would have just brought dd with me. It's literally myself and the intern there today, so I probably could have done that. I just feel so crappy myself though. Ok, what's done is done. My boss is so nice so I hate feeling like she might think I'm taking advantage. It was just really bad timing. I know if I were expecting someone else to come in and they were as sick as I am, I'd be annoyed if they did, but I know not everyone feels that way.

If it would have just been you and the intern, and you called out sick, then who went in to supervise the intern? Or did someone give him/her the day off? If you staying home sick meant that your boss had to cancel a planned day off then I think you should really apologize Monday and make it clear that you were very sick - much too sick to come in to the office.

No, our intern is actually very bright and independent (she has a master's degree in our field, just the rest of us are PhDs/MDs). She is often alone. My boss just feels bad b/c she's been out a lot this month too for personal things, and we're such a small group that she was hoping I could be there with her today. I was too, but I'm a mucus-machine, let alone the hint now of GI stuff...gross.. I've been working from home and we're going to talk on the phone this afternoon. I actually work from home all the time, even throughout my leave when I didn't have to, so hopefully that helps.

NicoleWI · April 2013

I would have stayed home for sure. :

Mustardseed2007 · April 2013

st.augbride:
ClaryPax:
I would have had DH stay home with LO and go in, but I used the 12 weeks under FMLA and would not have had any more time left.

Dh had to go in today since he had a meeting with his boss's boss about something important for him. He originally was going to be home today to stay with dd, but then this meeting came up yesterday. My maternity leave is up but I have unlimited sick leave (to of course only be used when I am truly sick). Ugh.. awkward!

Given this, I would have my DH come home after his meeting with his Boss' Boss. If that meeting was in the afternoon I would ask him to stay home with LO until 12 and then we'd switch.

I probably would have gone in but kept LO at home. But then again, I don't think you made the WRONG call. Justifiably people don't like sick people in the office, but I do it anyway in situations like that. But that's me.

groovygrl · April 2013

Since you work in ID hopefully everyone understands (and you can make some corny work related jokes about it too when you get back! LOL. Kidding. Sort of.).

I would have done the same if the only reason you were needed in was to be with an intern who is responsible & on top of things. I probably would have gone in if there were a big meeting I wanted to show my face at or if the intern was not working up to expectations & someone needed to be there to talk/oversee or something like that. Purely based on this post I would guess you have plenty of personal capital in being reliable so I wouldn't worry too much unless it is a long standing pattern or something. (I'm a big fan of the emotional bank acct concept from Stephen Covey...it's just a little withdrawal from your emotional bank acct but it sounds like you probably have a big balance anyway!).

GL & hope you all feel better soon...

SunAndRain · April 2013

Without knowing how critical the work was and whether it needed to get done today, I can't say what I would have done. But I know how I handled my childcare and personal illness challenges. I barely worked a full week for first few months after I returned from maternity leave. DD was picking up the illness of the week and it was on me to look after her. I was constantly sick too. I finally had a frank conversation with my manager to ackowledge that the arrangement wasn't working and told her that I was in the process of looking for new backup daycare, which I quickly found. So above all else, one time calling in to work isn't going to harm your career. How prepared and reliable you are in general is what I'd focus on.

IBackBevo · April 2013

I HATE it when people come to work sick. I have co-workers who do this (even when there isn't anything pressing) because we only get so many days a year off (they aren't divided into sick or vacation days) and I guess they want to save all of their days for vacation...it drives me up the wall because almost inevitably I will end up with their sickness. So I would have called in, too. However, I probably would have just called in for 1 or 2 days and not for the rest of the week.

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