Parent Vent (long)

VeraM22 · April 2013

I just kind of need to get this out.

As I'm sure some of you know from a few of my previous posts that I'm having a difficult time with my family. From my mother telling me how much she hates the name I've chosen for my daughter to my grandmother upset that I did not want the almost 100 years old rickety family crib that has been painted every color lead paint in the rainbow.

My latest problem is with my father. He recently came down the weekend that we found out the sex of the baby, a few weeks before this I had told him how I had requested that no one buy things for the baby until I made it until my 20 week ultrasound. I had a miscarriage last year and while I know it wasn't necessarily reasonable I had a huge fear of things being bought for my baby and them having to be returned because something happened. He promptly chewed me out and told me I had no right to tell people what they could or could not do (even though he knew my reasoning behind the request) and ended the conversation. I didn't think of it again until while we were sitting down to lunch with my grandmother the weekend he came down and he just up and told my grandmother about this conversation we had out of the blue, and then laughing with a triumphant grin on his face proceeded to tell her how he went out that very day and bought something for the baby just to "show" me. I was in complete shock, even if he had bought something he had no reason to tell me about it knowing how I felt. It was like he had been waiting to tell me in person just so he could see the look on my face!

I was extremely hurt but I decided to just not saying anything and ruin the weekend since I only get to see my dad in person once or twice a year anyway. But as the weekend went on he couldn't quit making jabs at me about how I thought I was "too good" for used things because I wanted a new crib and a new car seat. Even though he knew my reasoning for this as well, I wanted a new crib and car seat for safety reasons only. I didn't mind getting pretty much everything else as hand me downs if I could.

Fast forward to tonight when he messaged me and told me that he was going to buy the travel system that I wanted. I was very excited and just simply asked if he was buying a new one. I was very concerned with his constant harping on me getting used ones and his seeming want to do the opposite of what I asked just to spite me that he would be getting a used one. I was concerned for the safety of my daughter and if he intended to get a used one I was just going to politely tell him someone else had already gotten it for us. I never intended to be rude or hurt him. My dad flew off the handle about this and told me basically that I was a hateful person, that I just needed to accept what I was given and not ask questions. He informed me that since I thought I was "all knowing" in child raising and that I thought he obviously knew nothing that he would not be buying ANYTHING for my daughter and that as I had hurt him deeply he would not be speaking to me basically until he got an apology out of me.

I'm pretty floored right now and very hurt. I feel if there should be an apology anywhere it should be from my father for all of the hurtful jabs he has said to me about every single thing I have decided on since I found out I was pregnant and for the telling me of how he bought the baby something just to spite me and laughing about it while he said it.

I don't know what to say or do but seeing as it is 11 p.m and I had no one else to talk to at the moment I just needed to say something to someone about this. If you've read all of this I'm sorry it was so long. Thank you for getting through it.

EMLYNNLERETTE · April 2013

Disclaimer,

I did take my sleep meds and forgot i did. If this makes little sense, my apologies. It makes sense in my scrambled head right now at least! Your dad has to be the youngest of a bajillion kids right? His juvenile attitude m

TKtravels · April 2013

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

I don't know you or your family situation, but is it possible for you to distance yourself from your family for as long as you need to feel better? It sounds like they're not being very supp

katiebenes · April 2013

Okay, I will undoubtedly have a very UO on this one.

I will start with what people will agree on: its wrong of him to make fun of you... you have valid reasons to worry about a new crib and a new car seat.
My MIL thought I was "too good for

VeraM22 · April 2013

andjess11:
While it sounds like your dad has not always been kind, I think your reaction was bratty. I would have seen the off

Kristonita12 · April 2013

I feel for you. That is a tough situation. I don't know what to say except kudos to you for knowing that you need to stand up for your own and your child's needs. It sounds like your dad could have Narcissistic Personality Disorder..or t

coraggiosa · April 2013

VeraM22:
andjess11:

kat81again2 · April 2013

VeraM22:
andjess11:

Mitchellovesnemo · April 2013

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this! I know this might be a bit out there, but I've had to cut people out of my life for similar situations & previous ongoing problems. Your job now as a parent is to do what you feel is best for your LO. I w

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