- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Single Parents
going to court
Dear fellow single parents,
I'll be going to court in the next two weeks. I'm nervous and sometimes the thought of what might happen takes my breath away and I fight to find joy in the remaining days til then.
Bd is fighting for 50/50 even though he has said he doesn't really want it until our child is much older. However he doesnt want to pay cs based on guidelines because he makes too much money and he feels he will pay more than the baby truly needs. He's hired a big time lawyer who charges 600/hr and since this he has done everything by the book to show he is truly interested. He's now paying cs he stopped for several months and ebuys the baby everything he can think of. Now he schedules to see her for 34 hrs and stands there while I breast feed her and when she sleeps in order to clock in time. He even put in for an emergency court hearing claiming I prevent him from seeing her when its been the contrary. He's always has access and I allowed him to come anytime. I did this even though he's mean and has yelled at me and even lunged at me in front of people. On paper though...his million emails are now extremely nice and all he does is email me to show the court. He did this emergency hearing the moment I began asking him to schedule in advance rather than callingme on a whims notice each day. He likes to be in control so this was a huge blow to his ego and he claimed I controlled when he could see our daughter. This emergency hearing was.denied though..
Now I sit here a nervous wreck..wondering if a judge will.grant him what he wants and allow my daughter to be shuttled back and forth. This doesn't feel right. He threatened me all throughout my pregnancy to take her away if I had her and now what I fear most might come true. If he were a devoted dad perhaps I'd be. Consoled
But he has never taken care of our child and has always delegated her care to others feedings, diaper changed etc. He plans on hiring a nanny or having his family take care.of her since he works 6080 hr weeks. This breaks my heart.
Anyone been to this point? I'm scared of this trial.
I'll be going to court in the next two weeks. I'm nervous and sometimes the thought of what might happen takes my breath away and I fight to find joy in the remaining days til then.
Bd is fighting for 50/50 even though he has said he doesn't really want it until our child is much older. However he doesnt want to pay cs based on guidelines because he makes too much money and he feels he will pay more than the baby truly needs. He's hired a big time lawyer who charges 600/hr and since this he has done everything by the book to show he is truly interested. He's now paying cs he stopped for several months and ebuys the baby everything he can think of. Now he schedules to see her for 34 hrs and stands there while I breast feed her and when she sleeps in order to clock in time. He even put in for an emergency court hearing claiming I prevent him from seeing her when its been the contrary. He's always has access and I allowed him to come anytime. I did this even though he's mean and has yelled at me and even lunged at me in front of people. On paper though...his million emails are now extremely nice and all he does is email me to show the court. He did this emergency hearing the moment I began asking him to schedule in advance rather than callingme on a whims notice each day. He likes to be in control so this was a huge blow to his ego and he claimed I controlled when he could see our daughter. This emergency hearing was.denied though..
Now I sit here a nervous wreck..wondering if a judge will.grant him what he wants and allow my daughter to be shuttled back and forth. This doesn't feel right. He threatened me all throughout my pregnancy to take her away if I had her and now what I fear most might come true. If he were a devoted dad perhaps I'd be. Consoled
But he has never taken care of our child and has always delegated her care to others feedings, diaper changed etc. He plans on hiring a nanny or having his family take care.of her since he works 6080 hr weeks. This breaks my heart.
Anyone been to this point? I'm scared of this trial.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: going to court
I brought everything to court with me- print outs of emails, texts etc.
We had filled out the acknowledgement of paternity so he was on the birth certificate. I was really nervous for court....
In my state child support and custody are separate cases. We walked into the the court room for custody, the judge asked the history. asked how many over nights hr/week the father sees LO on average. made his ruling that i have full custody and parenting time as agreed upon. there was no arguing. I had a calendar of every visit since LO's birth & the judge looked at me and said that wasn't necessary.
We walked in for support- handed over our tax returns, i handed over my pre/post adding LO to my health insurance pay stubs & my statement from HR with the specific dollar amounts. Then i was asked to hand over my child care bills and other expenses. Plus the work sheet we filled out. Judge entered all the numbers into the computer and the system said here is the 17% of his gross for LO, plus half of health care and half of day care. There wasn't much to argue or debate there either.
This sounds like it went well... May I ask what state this is in?
I have the same issue as the original poster, I'm almost due and already worried about how to handle things. BD has threatened (throughout my whole pregnancy) the 50/50 custody in order to not pay CS, getting lawyers, and doing what it takes to not pay me a dime. As it is I haven't received any help in buying things in preparation for my LO's arrival or with my prenatal/doctor's expenses, which I don't expect anything for that, but it would have been nice. All of sudden, I assume after he received some advice from a lawyer, he's been emailing me about being together, working things out, and doing whatever possible to work things out and his intentions on us being married and a family. He even wants to move close to me in order to get 50%. We've been trying to work things out, on and off, call me crazy, i don't know.
monpetitechouchou01: good luck (((HUGS))) I wish I could give you some advice. I can imagine how you must be feeling right now. Are you able to get a lawyer and possibly ask for him to cover the cost of your lawyer expenses?