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April 2013 Moms
FrecklesInside
member
Eleanor Ruth (story and PIP)
FrecklesInside
member
So, I have been MIA since having my LO. It was quite the L&D and I just wasn't ready to come back to the board. I miss you all though and want to get back to posting 
Eleanor Ruth is 3 weeks old tomorrow. This is her birth story.
Just about nothing I had in my birth plan happened... things were relatively doomed from the start. My water broke early in the morning (6 AM) Wednesday and I didn't want to go to the hospital because I knew they'd admit me and they'd put me on the clock. I was told they wouldn't let me go over 24 hours after water breaking without delivering. I was GBS positive. So, Kevin and I went back to bed and waited until 10:30 AM when my water really gushed and we decided that for the health of Eleanor we'd better go to the hospital.
I never started labor on my own and my midwife pushed me to be induced after 12 hours since the water breaking (and we had lied to them and told them the later time, not the first time I had a gush). So, they started me on pitocin what they thought was like 12 hours since my water breaking but was really closer to 20. The pitocin gave me super strong contractions that I worked through over night. Because of my weight, the external monitors just wouldn't stay in place and pick up her heartbeat so they had me get an internal monitor (another thing I didn't want). This started my getting hooked up to everything imaginable. I already had to have antibiotics via IV every 4 hours because I was GBS positive. So, they had the contraction tracker and internal monitor coming out of me and I was experiencing extraordinary pain as my contractions became more and more intense. After laboring through the pitocin for about 8 hours, I was checked and was told I was only one cm still! I was devastated and absolutely exhausted. Kevin and I made the difficult decision to get an epidural so I could hopefully get some sleep so that I could push when it was time. I was imagining getting some rest and waking up at like a 6 or more...
The epidural was not working though. They topped it off twice and the contractions were still getting stronger. It wasn't working. They re-did the epidural but it still didn't work. I was now confined to the bed because of the epidural which required a catheter! My birth plan was about out the window, the one thing I was holding on to was that I would deliver her vaginally. But, my contractions became stronger and stronger, the epidural wasn't working and I couldn't even move around to work through my pain. It was terrible. I was checked again and felt for sure I would have progressed a ton, in fact I thought I might be able to push, when I was told I was only a 4. It was getting into the evening of the second day since my water broke and the pressure was on. We waited, I pushed on, was checked again a couple hours later, still a 4. We were devastated. Kevin and I made the incredibly painful decision to get a c-section. I was just in so much pain and was not progressing.
Both Kevin and I have been working through the trauma and focusing on the fact that we have an amazing, perfect, and healthy little girl. I've spent a lot of time mourning the birth I had dreamed of having and working through the confusion of not having actually birthed her. My midwife says she does not know why I didn't progress on my own and that I could try a vaginal birth for the next one but they aren't sure what happened. I know what happened though - Eleanor was NOT ready to come. I shouldn't have had the pitocin, and I shouldn't have even have gone to the hospital. I can't change that though. It is really frustrating because Kevin and I are very well informed and were really prepared with a plan and with the knowledge to get through some of the things that happen for no reason when a woman is in labor. Because of my water breaking, I became a victim of some of those things. I don't think Eleanor would have been harmed if we had waited before starting any of those interventions, and I know my body was not able to progress with all of those cords coming out of me and being confined to bed. It just wasn't going to happen.
I'm finding peace though and enjoying my baby girl who is absolutely perfect and more than I ever dreamed she'd be.
Unfortunately, we are also having serious struggles with breast feeding. I'm working with an LC, have reached out to get all of the help I can, but I'm still struggling with low milk supply and my LO won't latch. She gets what I can pump (I pump every feeding) which is about 4-6 oz a day and the rest is, unfortunately, formula. This is another thing I am struggling to come to terms with but I will keep working on it in hopes that my milk supply will improve and maybe we can have the BFing relationship I have dreamed of. If anyone else is struggling with the pain of not being able to BF, or dealing with having had a difficult L&D, please reach out to me, we can chat - I think it helps!!
Just after birth:
With daddy:
One week:
This week:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Eleanor Ruth (story and PIP)
My labor sounds a lot like yours but I didn't plan on having a natural or unmedicated birth. I certainly did not plan on stalling at a 4 for 13 hours, having a csection or my water breaking either.
I have only been able to pump 3oz. a day aside
We can't wait to meet our Blake Katherine!!
I'm so sorry your birth was not as planned. But wanted to say a big CONGRATULATIONS on your beautiful daughter!!