Tell me about the pushing stage

jamrosj · April 2013

I'm in my 1st tri with my second baby and want to try for the second time to have a Bradley birth. With my dd, I stalled at 5 cm and got an epi, but I'd like to do more preparation and give it another shot. I know I can handle contractions but the thought of pushing unmedicated scares me a bit. Please tell me about how you got through pushing and got over any fears like mine.

ChristyML · April 2013

Lurker here...

I think it might actually go better without an epidural. I've heard you push more effectively without one (I personally had an epidural and pushed for at least 3 hours). I am not actually worried about the pushing part next time. I pushed really hard with an epidural, and it was awful. I think it will be awful going natural too, but I think it will be better in the long (or short) run.

Good luck!

jamrosj · April 2013

Actually my pushing stage with my daughter was great, only 29 minutes and a small tear. I think they turned down my epi because I could move my legs and felt very intense pressure but not really pain.

maelli3 · April 2013

With my first I pushed about two hours, nothing unmanageable. With my second I was begging for an epidural so my midwife held back a lip of cervix while I pushed from -2 to baby out in 20 minutes. I was a bit determined.

hamiltks10 · April 2013

I had no pain from contractions while I was pushing. Seriously....the second I started pushing, the pain went away. It was such a relief. I was lucky, I pushed through three or four contractions and he was born.

I had a 2nd degree tear...it hurt when it happened, but not terribly. The stitches were probably the hardest part of the entire labor and delivery for me, even though she said she numbed the area...that sucked.

oliversmommy32912 · April 2013

hamiltks10:
I had no pain from contractions while I was pushing. Seriously....the second I started pushing, the pain went away. It was such a relief. I was lucky, I pushed through three or four contractions and he was born.
I had a 2nd degree tear...it hurt when it happened, but not terribly. The stitches were probably the hardest part of the entire labor and delivery for me, even though she said she numbed the area...that sucked.

This is all pretty much exactly what I was going to say. It's so weird... transition is soooo intense, and you would think pushing would be really painful as well but for me the pain was put on the back burner. I don't remember pushing as being painful at all except the crowning part and that was so brief and ends immediately after the baby comes out. I had a pretty extensive tear and the repair was the worst part of the whole process and that's the part I had medication for!

What I wished someone would have told me is that pushing feels like you're taking the biggest BM of your life. You use the same muscles that you use to take a BM when you push. I was trying to push with the muscles I use when I do kegels if that makes sense and I was getting nowhere. Once I figured out what muscles I was supposed to use the baby came out in just a few pushes.

luvmyducks · April 2013

I got through pushing bc I didn't have any other choice, LOL.

I was hoping that pushing was going to be a relief, but DD was coming down a little crooked and every time I pushed it felt like my hips were going to explode. It was hard but I just did it. I think it helped bc I knew it meant we were closer to meeting DD.

Haley.Beth · April 2013

Pushing was honestly the best part of my labor! I had a really rough transition (pitocin augmented labor, no pain meds) after a long labor, and suddenly, in the middle of one contraction, my body started pushing on its own. Then it was like I was, in that single second, suddenly more aware, more awake, and more in control. I had just barely been hanging on during transition, then suddenly the pain didn't matter. I had a purpose, I had something to actively do instead of let the contractions wash over me. It was an amazing feeling. It only took 20 minutes to push her out, and I only needed 4 stitches over 3 small tears. She was 9 lbs 3 oz. I really could have slowed down and probably avoided any tearing at all, but I was so energized so suddenly I was pushing as hard as I could each time I felt my body start one. This time I will let my body do the pushing for a little bit before actively helping.

A37licia · April 2013

If you can handle the contractions in active labor, you can handle the pushing. One was not more significant than the other for me. It will be faster than with your first.

jamrosj · April 2013

Thank you ladies! Your stories are reassuring!

aylafsu88 · April 2013

I never had any fears about pushing. My Bradley instructor made it seem easy and highlighted the fact that you would get to hold you LO soon. I focused on that and did not give it a second thought during preg. I instead focused on how to relax/handle contractions. When I was in labor the contractions were no big deal and I handled them great. The pushing stage not so much. I freaked out, screamed, and flung my arms. I acted like a mad woman because I was in no way mentally prepared for the pain. I felt like I was being split open from the inside which was probably due to the nuchal hand my LO had. My OB was massaging me but I still ended up with a second degree tear. I only pushed for 10-20 mins so maybe if I had calmed down and pushed slowly things would not have been to bad. I honestly got through pushing because there was no other option.

mb314 · April 2013

Pushing was definitely much easier than labor. Like pp, I don't remember there being much pain from the pushing. I do remember being tired, though, but it just felt like you needed to do it. It was very instinctual, although my midwife was awesome with helping me through it.

I had three tears, two of which required stitches. However, I never felt the tears and even the "ring of fire" I barely felt.

nosoup4u · April 2013

By the time I got to pushing with my kids, I was so out of it I wasn't thinking about how hard it was. It still sucked, though!

skio · April 2013

I had an epi with DD and couldn't feel squat. I was apparently fully dilated and pushed with contractions for over three hours without ever having any urge to push or even the slightest pressure. It's why I have recurring hemorrhoids now and I certainly would've torn if DD ever actually came out.

I'll be avoiding that this time. No pushing based on when the doc or nurse thinks I should; I'll be using a breathing down method and avoiding pushing. I'm sure there will be a push or two at the end, but I want baby to be basically crowned and have huge urges to push before actually doing it. No epi. Fingers crossed.

RMama2012 · April 2013

It wasn't less painful at all. It was intense as all hell. I only say this because like pp, I wasn't prepared. Everything I read said it was a relief. It wasn't for me. It wasn't worse than contrax.

I pushed before I was really ready though. I wanted to and was begging the dr to push so he said lets try and see how effective you are. I guess I was doing it well so he said OK lets do it. I pushed through 3 contractions. It probably took 10 minutes? I had a first degree tear and a small tear on top. The perenium just hurt but the other tear I was aware of. I read about that and at the moment I knew that was happening to me. I didn't recognize the "ring of fire."

I was told by someone not to push like a poop because that will just give you hemerroids. She said to push like stopping starting a pee. This is TMI-I kind of imagined taking out a tampon where I push it out a little. I have no idea if this is why I was effective or what.

The nurses in maternity commented on how I had practically no swelling at all and after asking about it, they said it was because I pushed for such a short time.

In the future, if possible, I would try to wait until I had a stronger urge to push because recovery from the tearing was the worst part of the entire thing for me.

MrsP7309 · April 2013

I pushed for about 10 minutes. Since I didn't have an epi, I was able to get onto my hands and knees and really take control of my pushing. From there it really just pressure. I had a 1st degree tear and definitely didn't feel that happening.

AmyRI · April 2013

oliversmommy32912:
hamiltks10:

I had no pain from contractions while I was pushing. Seriously....the second I started pushing, the pain went away. It was such a relief. I was lucky, I pushed through three or four contractions and he was born.

I had a 2nd degree tear...it hurt when it happened, but not terribly. The stitches were probably the hardest part of the entire labor and delivery for me, even though she said she numbed the area...that sucked.

This is all pretty much exactly what I was going to say. It's so weird... transition is soooo intense, and you would think pushing would be really painful as well but for me the pain was put on the back burner. I don't remember pushing as being painful at all except the crowning part and that was so brief and ends immediately after the baby comes out. I had a pretty extensive tear and the repair was the worst part of the whole process and that's the part I had medication for!

What I wished someone would have told me is that pushing feels like you're taking the biggest BM of your life. You use the same muscles that you use to take a BM when you push. I was trying to push with the muscles I use when I do kegels if that makes sense and I was getting nowhere. Once I figured out what muscles I was supposed to use the baby came out in just a few pushes.

All of this, only my tears were minor (and in the same place both times). 15 minutes the first time (at least 5 was wasted trying to push with what I thought was the right muscles before I believed the nurses and tried pushing like a BM, which did work), 7 minutes the second time.

JKB1986 · April 2013

I'm one of the ladies that thought pushing was the worst part. Like pp said, I was expecting it to be the relief like so many others had said it would be. It was not a relief. I was actually in the tub when I started feeling a huge amount of pressure. The hospital I was at does not allow you to deliver in the tub and so I had to force myself to get out of the tub and onto the bed. I didn't know if I could do it because every time I tried to stand up I was paralyzed with intense pressure and pain. It honestly felt like my butt was going to explode from the pressure. I got onto the bed finally and was pretty much in panic mode because I did not know how to handle the pain. I always pictured the pain would be mostly stinging pain in the vag area but all the pain was centered on my butt and it was the most intense pressure EVER. Thankfully I didn't ever feel the ring of fire and he was out within two contractions, less than 5 minutes is what the nurse told me. I had started the first push and then was about to stop because I was out of breath but my body just kept pushing until his head came out. It was the weirdest experience ever. I remember the doctor saying, "okay that was the head" and I screamed "IT STILL HURTS!" and he had to remind me that I still needed to get the shoulders out. I'm hoping with this third one I don't tense up in anticipation of the pain and I handle it better because I know what to expect.

margeincharge3 · April 2013

ChristyML:
Lurker here...
I think it might actually go better without an epidural. I've heard you push more effectively without one (I personally had an epidural and pushed for at least 3 hours). I am not actually worried about the pushing part next time. I pushed really hard with an epidural, and it was awful. I think it will be awful going natural too, but I think it will be better in the long (or short) run.
Good luck!

I don't think you'll get much consistency with anecdote. I had an epidural and pushed for 30 minutes. I know people who've gone unmedicated and pushed for hours. I suspect the positioning of the baby has more to do with it than epi or no epi. But that's just conjecture too.

PhoenixBritt · April 2013

I personally felt that labor was much easier than pushing. I felt pretty ok until I hit transition and thought the worst was over. I think pushing was so bad for me because it lasted over two hours, it was 3am when I started to push and I was just so exhausted. While I was pushing I never thought about wishing I had an epi or wishing things were different. It was so intense I was just so focused on getting my baby out.I think the light at the end of the tunnel is as soon as your baby is out you forget about how painful it was. In the moment I thought I could never ever give birth naturally again and now I don't feel that way at all! Good luck!

amberthehobbit · April 2013

I didn't read any other comments but the actual delivery was cake for me. As soon as I felt him crowning adrenalin kicked in and I just went for it.

stever · April 2013

Both my labors and the pushing stages were very different. With DS1 I pushed for 3 hours but the pain was manageable so I just closed my eyes and went with it.

Labor with DS2 was much more painful but super short. In contrast to being almost meditative while I pushed with DS1, I was like an animal with DS2. I just. kept. pushing because it was the only way to get him out. That in itself was a coping mechanism, if that makes sense.

RachelM05 · April 2013

Pushing was so different than I expected, and I pushed for 4.5 hours! DD had wide shoulders and it took pushing in a lot of positions to get her out. I felt fine in between and had several minutes of a break before each contraction. And it was a sudden change, too. I went from the intensity or transition to laying back on the bed talking in between pushes. I thought it was less painful than contractions. The only thing that got me was the pressure! It's hard to explain bc it's different than pain, but the pressure was really uncomfortable at times.

But then when you get to the very end and are pushing a lot more, I don't even remember anything other than blocking everything out and just thinking that I was so close to holding her. And as soon as she was on my chest, none of it mattered. It is 100% worth it!

kdv77 · April 2013

The pushing part felt good after transition. It seemed like the pain lessened quite a bit...or maybe pushing relieved the pain. Either way, I pushed for 30 min with minimal tearing. Crowning burned for a second, but it was quick.

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