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do you remind SKs of mother's day and BM's birthday?

lily_721lily_721 member
in Blended Families

I used to buy gifts and cards for BM.  Then I started reminding them.  I stopped all of it this year. 

Three different reasons: (1)  they are old enough to remember events if it is important to them; (2) she does nothing for them and has little contact; (3) has never given DH or me the time of day and frequently tries to undermine us (when she does call the boys).

As mother's day is approaching, I'm feeling some guilt.  I bought cards/gifts for the moms in my and DH's lives (moms, stepmom, grandma) but nothing for BM or her crazy mother. 

The boys are 19 and almost 17.  Please tell me your thoughts on this.

 

together since 2006
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Re: do you remind SKs of mother's day and BM's birthday?

  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    The boys are old enough that if they want to give their mother a card they will. It's not your responsibility.
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  • Sunday924Sunday924 member

    At 17 and 19? No way! Please don't take offence to this but from your posts your SS's seem extremely babied. I think it would be much better for you (less stress) if you put a stop to that.

    In the beginning I took SS (now 13) to buy cards and som

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  • 10-4LilBuddy10-4LilBuddy member
    They are old enough to remember and take care of getting gifts themselves.
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  • blush64blush64 member
    The boys are old enough to remember. It wss nice of you to have reminded them in the past but you certainly don't need to anymore.
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  • Mrs.H.Mrs.H.
    yes I do.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    No one reminded me when I was old enough to ride nubile to the store and probably not before that because I made them and my parents were married 50 years. I do not plan on reminding my kids when they get older either and by 5 and 3 they would freak out i
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    I don't know when Bms bday is sooo no. Mother's Day he can celebrate with his mom on their time. She has an extremely involved mother who takes care of it but even if she didn't I think that falls on her boyfriend to take care of for SS not us
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    If my SS was 17 or 19 I would not be buying cards for his BM. I might remind him nicely by asking 'what are you doing for mother's day next week' or whenever it is, but that's it. Also, my SS is only 10 but I think it's his stepdad's responsibility. I rem
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  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member
    I didn't read everyone's response.  I think I would have DH mention mother's day coming up, but not specifically "hey, get BM something for mother's day" KWIM?
                           
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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    At those ages, no I wouldn't remind them.

     I am actually currently working with the kids on remembering birthdays because I'm tired them to not calling DH on his birthday. I always remind DD to call her BD or SM but most of the time I d

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  • kali55kali55 member
    In our situation, SDs are 9 and 7 years old.  If we didn't remind them about Mother's Day they probably wouldn't remember on their own.  We have a fairly decent relationship with BM so we make an effort to make sure SDs do something for their Mo


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  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    imageSunday924:

    At 17 and 19? No way! Please don't take offence to this but from your posts your SS's seem extremely babied. I thin

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  • 2chatter2chatter member

    No.  We pay enough CS that BM uses for her own enjoyment, while the kids are calling to tell us they have no food/need school supplies/have holes in their shoes.  I did this the first year we dated with DH and skids and my children, but not a

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  • valleavallea member
    I have to ask and wouldn't mind an ans; why on earth would u start such a tradition or even bother yourself, is it cause you and her are close?
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  • awesomenus1341awesomenus1341 member
    SS is four so yes, we remind him of Mother's Day and Father's Day. He doesn't really get the concept, and for birthdays, if you mention "birthday" he assumes it is his. We had him this year for BM's birthday, so we called her and had him wish her a happy
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  • bebe11bebe11 member

    My SS is 15, and his mom has never taken him to buy DH a Father's Day card or gift, so I don't even bring up Mother's Day.  I figure my DH can if he wants, and he has taken SS to buy his BM a gift in the past.  We (I) usually take SD to get h

     

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  • jenjen930jenjen930 member

    imageLavender P:
    it's his stepdad's responsibility. I remind SS about father's day and help him pick out and pay for a present, eve
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  • TasheystarTasheystar
    I also don't know when BM's birthday is. I probably never will.

    SD is still making things in school for mother's day, plus we rarely have her anymore, so I don't worry about it. Sometimes when her and ODS are colouring, I ask her if she's dr
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