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Moms of Teens, Pregnant After Secondary IF?

calmer1calmer1 member
in Pregnant after 35
I'm looking to connect with other moms who are pregnant and have teens/older kids at home. 

DH and I are 36 and pregnant with our first together. We have my daughter, almost 14 and his son, 15 in May. I find it really difficult to relate to other moms because they either have just teens and older kids, or just little kids. Also, we battled with infertility for 8 years before getting our surprise BFP in January. 

Is anyone is a similar situation? I feel like I don't fit in anywhere.....
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Re: Moms of Teens, Pregnant After Secondary IF?

  • psychobabble35psychobabble35
    Oh yes. :-)  I have a 22 year old son & was infertile for about 20 years!! Then along came Niyah, she is 3 today. :-)  I have a 19 yr old stepdaughter at home as well, and am pregnant, due in December. Congrats to you!
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  • psychobabble35psychobabble35
    I should have mentioned all the others kids, too lol...I have 7 adopted kids. So at home I have the 19 yo stepdtr, and then a 14 yr old, 13 yo, 11 yo twins, 9 yo and 8 yo twins.  I have all ages. :-)
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  • calmer1calmer1 member
    Thank you, and nice to "meet" you. Sounds like you have your hands full! I think it's great that you adopted so many kids. We had talked about it, but didn't feel it was the right choice for us. 

    Dealing with a blended family, pregnant after infertility AND having teens really makes me feel so out of place! Our friends either have all little kids, or all older kids and I don't have any that are a blended family! 

    I am a stay at home mom, home schooling my two teens after they were in public school through 6th grade. Being home all the time also makes it difficult to get out and meet people. The 'kids' have more friends than I do! 
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  • 2ndGeneration2ndGeneration member

    Wow pyschobabble, you have a really neat family!

     

     My kids are 20, 16, 15, 12 and 9. We didn't have any secondary infertility-just decided that we were NOT actually done lol. I'm defenitely the oldest mom-to-be, mom of babies at my young church, and dh's brother and sil became grandparents this year. In fact, the day we had our bfp, two separate friends of ours announced on FB that they are becoming grandparents! 

     

     So, I know how you guys feel...I am trying to connect with the moms of littles at church. But in my family, and at work-I'm just out there hahaha.

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  • happywifemomofonehappywifemomofone member
    Hi Ladies-this description definitely fits me and I'm glad that I am not alone.  My son will be 21 in October.  My husband of almost 4 years has no children, so we started TTC right after we got married.  We were FINALLY successful, but our situation is so very different from anyone else that I know IRL.  Glad there are others around who understand these dynamics.  I always knew that I wanted more children, but also knew that would never choose to be a single mom again.  Don't expect our child to be close to my son d/t the large age gap.  Our child will likely be raised playing with my grandchildren......different from the norm, but perfectly A-ok.
    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
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  • AliSarahAliSarah
    I'm 37, have a 17 year old daughter who will graduate in June, and will be induced tomorrow with our first baby together, after 7 years of marriage all spent trying to get pregnant... Yep! Definitely a similar situation I think!! :D
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  • Jent5101Jent5101 member
    I'm 36 and have an 11 year old, a 1 and 1/2 year old, and due in October. My oldest loves being a big brother and can't wait for a little sister this time. He is an awesome help!
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  • michelleonthecoastmichelleonthecoast member

    My older kids are 12, 16, & 19.  I also have stepkids ages 10, 13, & 15.

    Congrats on your BFP! :-) 

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  • calmer1calmer1 member
    Wow AliSarah! That's a very close situation! Congrats to you!! You must be so excited. I hope that all goes well tomorrow!
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  • calmer1calmer1 member
    Thank you for all the responses ladies! It's great to hear from other moms in similar situations. It makes navigating these waters a little easier. 
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  • psychobabble35psychobabble35
    2ndgen...my dh has a twin brother with an empty nest and announcements of grandchildren coming here and there. he def thinks we are crazy. :-)
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  • mamajess68mamajess68 member

    I know how you feel about friends being in a totally different place - I am 44 (45 when LO arrives and my husband is almost 51 - married over 17 years).  We have a 15 year old DD, 12 year old DD and a 4 year old DS.  We actually had "first time" infertility needing clomid & progesterone and surgeries before getting pregnant with our girls when I was in my late 20's and early 30's.  I was told in my mid-30's with all my problems that I was lucky to have even had the 2 healthy children I did.  Having more problems in my late 30's, my next step was a hysterectomy but my Dr. recommended going on BC pill to try to fix the problem.  That made me kind of crazy hormonally so I got off after 2 months - a month later, I was pregnant!  Had my DS at 40 and thought that was our shock... nope.  Pregnant naturally at over 44.  All my friends have children my girls age.  No one I know is in my boat either and it does make you feel kind of lonely sometimes.  God is so good and I am so grateful for all my children, just had never pictured this scenario for my life!

     

    Jessica (44) married to DH (50) for 17 years DD - 3/27/98 DD - 01/11/01 DS - 09/30/08
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  • calmer1calmer1 member
    @Mamajess Congratulations! How exciting. It's funny, but now that I"m pregnant I keep reading of so many women having babies in their late 30's and into their 40's. Before I turned 35, I went through a last minute panic and was telling hubby that we need to do something now.. that as soon as I turn 35, it's all over. Well, the money was never available to do anything so I had to let it go. And lo and behold, a month before I turned 36, and after literally one time, we conceived. Miracles happen. Sometimes, things don't happen when we want them to. Sometimes they don't ever happen. I had figured we would be one of those couples that could not conceive together. I was wrong, thank God!
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  • calmer1calmer1 member
    @mermomo I know everything just falls into place but on the one hand, I'm dealing with two teens and I don't feel ready for that. Then on the other hand, is the fact that there will be a new baby too. I never would have planned them this far apart, that's for sure. My hubby keeps joking that we're rewinding the clock. By the time this LO is starting school, the older two will (hopefully) be in college. Perhaps out on their own. It all feels very strange, and just a little bit crazy :)
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  • JillEnuJillEnu
    Had my daughter at 17 years old and am 29 weeks pregnant at 36 years old  with my 2nd, her sister :D! My daughter will turn 19 in June and her sister will be born in July! Fertility issues and finally ivf with icsi worked! and let me tell you being pregnant at 17 and 36 are waaaaaaaaaaay different lol!!!!
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