One & Done: Only child

Getting your DH on board..

So I usually don't believe in AEs but I have a few people who know my SN in RL on here... and I'd like to keep this private.

From the moment I gave birth to LO (who is almost 1.5 years now) I wanted to get pregnant again. I always thought we would have 2-3 kids at least. DH was fine with this and agreed. I slowly started to think about being 1 and done when I found out I will be starting a new position this week. Then LO got his hair cut in a big boy style and for whatever reason, that was my light bulb moment. I don't think I want to devote my attention and time to another child when I already have LO.  I could go into the other reasons as well, but that would make this post even longer, and this is my most important reason. I don't want to end up resenting a second child for taking away my time with LO (though I have had everyone tell me that doesn't happen).

I mentioned this briefly to DH and he seemed to be OK with it, but he is more in the "see what happens" boat. I mentioned birth control to him and he said it would be a waste of money because it took me "so long" (about 3 years off BC but charted for only about 8 months) to get pregnant that surely I won't get pregnant again any time soon. Men can be idiots when it comes to this stuff. I mentioned an IUD and all he could think about are the infomercials about all the complications for it. How would you handle talking to him about this? I am not set in stone enough yet to get anything surgical done, but I definitely think that some form of BC would be a good option right now until I am 100% sure. It is entirely possible that I just may be more freaked out about having kids close together when LO is still young.  I know that taking BC without telling him would be wrong (just like TTC w/o telling your SO) but it is tempting. TIA for your input... I am sure in some ways this post is completely flame-worthy.

Re: Getting your DH on board..

  • If it were me, I would tell my husband that I'm not ready to take a "see what happens" approach and that I'd be taking birth control until I'm in a place to make a definite decision. In terms of what kind of birth control, I'd do what was best for me. Unl
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  • imageeyenigh:
    If it were me, I would tell my husband that I'm not ready to take a "see what happens" approach and that I'd be takin
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  • Birth control is never a waste of money. What is a LOT more money, is another child that may come from it when not on it, and that's a heckuva a lot more $$. :)

    I agree with the other ladies, I would get on the birth control.  If this were m

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  • imageChapter79:

    Birth control is never a waste of money. What is a LOT more money, is another child that may come from it when not

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  • I can see where it would be unethical to not tell him about birth control, but that doesn't mean you have to get his permission.

    And as long as he's waiting and seeing, you need birth control. 

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  • Are you regular enough to chart? If so, the beads method is pretty reliable and free. You also don't run the risk of disrupting your fertility if you do decide to try again.

    It couldn't be that expensive for you to g

  • I agree with everything said here, that BC can still be used in a wait and see approach. The "Wait and See" should be related to how you guys feel about a second child, and not "Wait and See" if you accidentally get pregnant again.

    But

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