Shower planning?

ScarlettV · April 2013

I'm just curious as to what the standard is or if there is one when it comes to who plans the shower. Google can't give me a straight answer so I thought I'd see what the general concensus is here.

Is there traditionally a person who is suppose to plan it? For example, traditionally the maid of honor organizes the bridal shower. So for baby shower, would this be mom? Or BFF? Or does it even matter? I know some people end up having multiple showers because different people want to throw them. Sorry, new to all if this!

afrochick09 · April 2013

IMO, whoever offers.

EastCoastBride · April 2013

No, there is no one who is "supposed" to plan you a baby shower. Whoever offers can do it. And if no one offers, then.... no shower.

A shower is a gift to you. No one is required to do it.

ScarlettV · April 2013

I'm not talking about myself. I want to throw one for my friend...

She's still early but I'd like to throw a fun get together for her in a few months. but I'm uncertain if just going for it would be stepping on her moms toes if she's expecting to plan it.

kennazebrowsky · April 2013

ScarlettV:
I'm not talking about myself. I want to throw one for my friend... She's still early but I'd like to throw a fun get together for her in a few months. but I'm uncertain if just going for it would be stepping on her moms toes if she's expecting to plan it.

If you know her mom or have a way to get a hold of her I would ask her if she plans on it. If so you could ask if you could be any help to her.

Stina2012 · April 2013

ScarlettV:
I'm not talking about myself. I want to throw one for my friend... She's still early but I'd like to throw a fun get together for her in a few months. but I'm uncertain if just going for it would be stepping on her moms toes if she's expecting to plan it.

I'd just offer to MTB that you'd love to throw her a shower or help if there's already a shower in the works. MTB will either accept or put you in touch with people.

ScarlettV · April 2013

This seems to be sound advice. Ill wait for now until it gets a bit closer then put the feelers out to her family to see if something is in the works. If so, perhaps a close gf shower for fun. Thanks for the help!

PunkyBooster · April 2013

Whoever offers. I had 3 small showers. One was thrown by MIL, one by my team at work and one by a friend/neighbor of mine.

database6 · April 2013

hocus:
Generally is it a close friend (or friends) or family. Having your mother or sister used to be frowned upon but I don't think that is the case anymore. The only real rule is that the parents to be don't throw a shower for themselves.

This. Technically speaking, it should not be members of your family, so a close friend would be the best option. I do not mind mothers or MIL or really anyone else in the family throwing a shower though.

526SadieSadie · April 2013

As long as its a shower for a first child, I don't care who the hostess is (other than the expectant parents). An older standard said it shouldn't be either of the grandmothers to be, but that's really old school.

diamondduck13 · April 2013

I've been lurking here for a few weeks (I'm 22w) and I've been surprised how most of the showers mentioned seem to be hosted by the grandmothers to be or sisters of the mom to be. I was surprised only because thru this I learned how old school my mom really is. My mom has always said family shouldn't host any type of shower because, in her opinion, its too gift grabby. While I try to abide by etiquette in my choices, I don't care either way what others choose to do. Family hosted definitely appears to be the norm on the bump. For me, it appears I'm having one shower hosted by friends of my MIL in my husbands home town. My mom's friends don't do baby showers, but often send gifts anyway. After discovering the norm on the bump, I'm wondering if none of my friends have offered because they assume my mom is doing something for me. It would be nice to have a celebration with my friends, but I do not expect nor need a shower or gifts from them.

Edited for spelling & mobile bumping punctuation losses.

msmerymac · April 2013

diamondduck13:
I've been lurking here for a few weeks (I'm 22w) and I've been surprised how most of the showers mentioned seem to be hosted by the grandmothers to be or sisters of the mom to be. I was surprised only because thru this I learned how old school my mom really is. My mom has always said family shouldn't host any type of shower because, in her opinion, its too gift grabby. While I try to abide by etiquette in my choices, I don't care either way what others choose to do. Family hosted definitely appears to be the norm on the bump. For me, it appears I'm having one shower hosted by friends of my MIL in my husbands home town. My mom's friends don't do baby showers, but often send gifts anyway. After discovering the norm on the bump, I'm wondering if none of my friends have offered because they assume my mom is doing something for me. It would be nice to have a celebration with my friends, but I do not expect nor need a shower or gifts from them.
Edited for spelling & mobile bumping punctuation losses.

It might also depend where you live. I've heard this type of old-school etiquette is still observed in the NYC area, for example. That's also what I heard growing up, but nowadays things are definitely different, IMO.

diamondduck13 · April 2013

msmerymac:
diamondduck13:
I've been lurking here for a few weeks (I'm 22w) and I've been surprised how most of the showers mentioned seem to be hosted by the grandmothers to be or sisters of the mom to be. I was surprised only because thru this I learned how old school my mom really is. My mom has always said family shouldn't host any type of shower because, in her opinion, its too gift grabby. While I try to abide by etiquette in my choices, I don't care either way what others choose to do. Family hosted definitely appears to be the norm on the bump. For me, it appears I'm having one shower hosted by friends of my MIL in my husbands home town. My mom's friends don't do baby showers, but often send gifts anyway. After discovering the norm on the bump, I'm wondering if none of my friends have offered because they assume my mom is doing something for me. It would be nice to have a celebration with my friends, but I do not expect nor need a shower or gifts from them.
Edited for spelling & mobile bumping punctuation losses. 
 
It might also depend where you live. I've heard this type of old-school etiquette is still observed in the NYC area, for example. That's also what I heard growing up, but nowadays things are definitely different, IMO.  

We're in the south. I've been to three baby showers one hosted by a sister and an aunt of mom to be, the other two by friends. So one was family, but not grandmothers to be hosting.

msyoon · April 2013

it's whomever wants to be in charge of hosting one for you. It can be a friend, coworkers or relative. Usually family members should stay clear of hosting because some get offended since it's a gift giving event... but honestly, the showers that are the most meaningful are ones thrown by close family members like a sister or cousin.

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