So my DH and I have a VERY tight budget due to the fact that he has no self control when it comes to spending. Right now he is deployed and even without him here we spend almost every DOLLAR of our paycheck on bills and absolute necessities. (Before this he was getting cash advances every month bc he would overspend and then I'd need groceries or diapers etc.) Most of that is credit card debt. He allotted me a specific amount for groceries and gas every month ($400) and $100 for ANY thing extra that might come up for a total of $500. This EASILY gets spent on things we need and I am extremely frugal. We have a little girl so she needs things here and there. Last time she got sick that was $32 in over the counter type stuff.
My problem is this. He does everything he can to spend a few dollars here and there. He bounces between spending money in our main account before bills come out to using credit cards, to using another account he has set up that I don't have access to, to overdrafting.....it's HORRIBLE! He tells me he isn't going to spend any money and then he does. I want him to have what he needs but we are so BROKE. After our bills are paid this paycheck we have $8!! We just got paid 2 days ago. We have money for groceries and gas but absolutely nothing else bc he spent $60. Meanwhile, he lowered the automatic payment on one of our credit card bills and then took the difference and transferred it to another account ($30). I emailed him to ask to "be sure" instead of just blaming him (since it just says "transfer". I want to believe he has a legit excuse but I know he doesn't. That's $90 while my daughter and I have $8.... I've been here pregnant and taking care of a toddler. I can't even afford to go buy a coffee but he eats out several times a week and drops in Dunkin Donuts 1-2x a week himself.
I am sitting here in tears. I *could* technically contact his command but that would be REALLY bad. He's been in 16 years so this would probably look worse than if he was a really young guy newly married that was making these kinds of mistakes and just had to learn....know what I mean?