December 2010 Moms

to go or not to go?

I think I have even posted about this before, but my son seems to get weirded out when we go somewhere new.  Like, when we go into a restaurant he has never been to or another building.  He gets anxious and starts screaming "car, go!" over and over.  I do think that he has just about the worst case of separation anxiety ever.  Being a teacher is actually not helping because it seems like the second he gets adjusted, and reassured of everything, I have another break from school and then we start the process all over again. 

I do notice he is a lot better when both DH and I take him somewhere.  Maybe it sends him the message that we are all going somewhere and are NOT dropping him off somewhere.  

We have a birthday party next weekend, and I am so frustrated with Aiden getting so anxious when we go to a house that I told DH I think we should just skip it.  Aiden does seem to be the worst going to an actual house.  I'm wondering if he thinks going to a house is like going to daycare - since he goes to an in home daycare.  I don't know, but he flips when we go to a friends house for a visit.  

DH is mad and says it's ridiculous to stay home from the party, and Aiden will be just fine and adjust.  I don't know what to do.  It's been frustrating to me and I guess if I'm being honest, I hate being THAT family with the kid who is screaming and crying.  I think I feel that so many two year olds are SO friendly and SO outgoing, and then there is Aiden who takes awhile to warm up.

And Aiden is so cute once he does get to know people.  He adores our neighbors and their grandkids.  Will go right over when they are all home.  He has just never been to this house before, and it's going to be a crazy party and I know he's going to be overwhelmed.

What should we do?  And does anyone else have a toddler like this who can offer some tips?

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Re: to go or not to go?

  • Maybe just try to talk to him about the party the day before and the day of. Just let him know you are going to a new house with lots of kids and friends, but everyone is going to be happy and playing. Lots if yummy snacks and treats, etc. talk about the

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  • Right after J started DC he would think we were leaving him all the time. We taught him the word visit and practiced some "visits". We would drive to a friends house go up to the door and say "hi!, just visiting" then leave. It only took a few times fo

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  • Can you ask your friend if you can come visit for 5-10 minutes one day before the party?  Then it won't be a completely new place to him.  Maybe even just drive by and talk about whose house it is and point it out a few times if you live clos

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  • G usually gets freaked out when we enter new places or houses. He needs me to carry him around for like half an hour before he settles down. And then he'll walk on his own and play or whatever. But hes never screamed or cried or thrown a tantrum. I'm
  • I totally just remembered something my sister used to do with her kid.  He had/has major sensory issues.  She made little books with pictures of new places before they went.  When he started preschool, she walked around the school and cl

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