Your opinion...Mother in law wanting to have party

indiana_muse · April 2013

Hi,

I have a 3 year old daughter...its really her first year of understanding what a bday is. We are having a party at a park and also having a dinner just our immediate family.

My mother in law also wants to do a bday birthday for my daughter and it frankly pisses me off. She does bday dinner for her kids aka my husband even now that he is going to be 36. I just feel that at some point I need to have my own family, my own birthday dinners and that this is just crossing the line a bit. I know it comes from a good place but let me have my own dinner for my own daughters bday.

The question is am I unreasonable? Out of line or do you feel this way too with your mother in law being supreme mother over your family too? Sell me straight here b/c my husband must think I am nuts!

dragon_chica · April 2013

Are you upset that it would be another birthday dinner for your DD's birthday? Are you upset that she wants to do it on her birth date (I'm guessing here.) And/or, are you upset because it's MIL suggesting this?

indiana_muse · April 2013

I guess I am just upset that it would be another party aka dinner at my in-laws house (on another date). I just feel like we aka me should have a special dinner for her with a home made cake and that doing that is up to me not my MIL.

brettsmama · April 2013

indiana_muse:
I guess I am just upset that it would be another party aka dinner at my inlaws house on another date. I just feel lik

dragon_chica · April 2013

brettsmama:
indiana

beckyandmiles · April 2013

That might drive me nuts too. If she's reasonable she'll at least talk to you about it. I have my hubby talk to his parents about issues like this. But maybe she just wants to feel included? Is your daughter her only GD? They go crazy over the first. But,

12bailey18 · April 2013

I don't think it's a big deal if it's in addition to the party you're having. If she's was wanting to do her thing instead it would bother me. Or if she wants to do it on her actual birthdate I think that may bother me too. But if she wants to have a birt

Brewtowngrl · April 2013

I would say no. She can come to the family dinner. Your child your day. I try and be laid back with my ILs since they really are special to my kids and do so much for them, but holidays and birthdays are my thing.

Veittobe · April 2013

I agree with PP that it's "not a battle worth picking". I think that's a great way to put it. We as Mom's (and wives and daughter-in-laws especially) have to pick our battles carefully. In my case, this is one battle with a mother-in-

kristennd · April 2013

If it's in addition to your dinner, and doesn't interfere with the date you want for your dinner, I'd go along with it.

If she wants to host THE birthday dinner instead of you doing it (and some MILs do), then no.

cmhicklin · April 2013

Veittobe:
I agree with PP that it's "not a battle worth picking". I think that's a great way to put it. We as Mom'

pitterpatter129 · April 2013

Brewtowngrl:
I would say no. She can come to the family dinner. Your child your day. I try and be laid back with m

laurakaz13 · April 2013

I understand getting annoyed with the in-laws occasionally, but I don't see this as a big deal in the least. Who cares if your daughter has several b-day celebrations? It's fun for her.

We'll have three b-days for DD this year.

XCrissCrossX · April 2013

My opinion depends on your family members. If I were to have a bday dinner and then MIL were to have a bday dinner, both dinners would include exactly the same people with no variation. That's a little overboard to me.

If your dinner, however, i

Spin313 · April 2013

I'd say no...especially if you think your MIL would try to make this a tradition.

My two kids have birthdays a week apart, so it's common for us to have multiple celebrations in a short span of time. It gets really exhausting!

MissLippy08 · April 2013

ClaryPax:
I disagree with pp, why have 3 birthday celebrations? You are doing the park thing and the dinner thing, so wh

LadyXaverian · April 2013

My MIL hosts birthday lunches at her house on the Sunday before or after one of her kids' or grandkids' birthdays. We still do our own thing, too. It never occurred to me to be bothered by it.

I don't think it's a battle to pick.

megann831 · April 2013

cmhicklin:
Veittobe:</

shaw · April 2013

We always did extended birthday celebrations at my grandmas house. My mom would bring the cake. We also had a family or friend celebration at out house. My grandma would come to that too. It was nice feeling so loved!

SCtoDC · April 2013

ClaryPax:

I disagree with pp, why have 3 birthday celebrations? You are doing the park thing and the dinner thing, so

Veryluckyone · April 2013

I have the same exact problem with my MIL. I want to throw a small party here with the immidiate family and she would like us to have a party at her house. She even last year invited us for what we thought was just dinner and she made it into

KellyD01 · April 2013

I'd agree w/ not a battle to fight. We grew up having b-day dinner at home w/ family and grandparents on our actual birthday. Then our party on a weekend at either a party place, home, or my moms parents. My MIL seem to alternate where we are for adult bi

sschwege · April 2013

I can see why it would be annoying, but as long as she is not making it on her actual birthday or conflicting with your party I would just let it go. Not worth it IMO.

kpips20 · April 2013

I'm really laid back with most things grandparent related but this would bug me. If you're already having a party at a park plus a family dinner (that I'm assuming MIL is invited to) then I would absolutely tell her thanks but no thanks. A

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