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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
beautiflaw
member
Daycare Friend Hits Her *Another Update* Not Good!!!
beautiflaw
member
Not sure if you guys remember me but I'm the mom who wrote this post https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/73088704.aspx
and this one https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/73096018.aspx
(Sorry I don't know how to make it clicky)
This is long and ranty and jumbled. I have no idea what to do now except to cut back at work (I work from home so its not too big a deal) and stay home with DD part time. I don't want to switch daycares because we are about to move across the country in the fall, and I don't want to do a huge change and then right when she (and we) get used to her new daycare we do another huge change. I feel that would be too much for her.
Long story short, DD gets hit/kicked/pushed/etc by a little boy every single day at daycare. Its been going on for almost a year. The teachers at daycare and other parents have noted this particular child is more aggressive than the others, and that while the other kids in DD's class have moved (mostly) past the hitting phase, this child is stuck there and not budging.
Long story long...
The teachers say they feel he is targeting DD and the other female students (he rarely hits boys) because his older sister is aggressive with him. From what I understand after talking at length with the other teachers and the director of the school about this problem (DD has come home with several bruises, a bloody nose, a cut lip, and other injuries from this one little boy. I can't take it anymore.) they tell me that his mother refuses to step in because she feels he is too little to learn not to hit. He's almost 2.
The teachers at his daycare can only do so much. They can try to teach him not to hit all day long at school, but if his mom isn't going to try and teach him then he's just not going to learn. I am 100% convinced that the teachers and the director are doing everything they can, but its just not working. Every morning I have to stand between the little boy and DD, because when he hits her she wants to hit him back, and then the other kids start hitting each other.... Sometimes there is another teacher available to help shadow him and ease the transition but there is not always someone who can do that, so a lot of times its just the one teacher and she can't change diapers or do whatever AND distract this kid from my daughter all day long. And she shouldn't have to! Sometimes when I am between DD and this little boy, he hits me! And its hurts! If it hard enough to hurt me, then I know it must really hurt DD.
I have not had a chance to speak with his mother myself, because she drops her son off very early in the morning and we arrive much later, and picks him up earlier than we pick up DD. I've only ever crossed paths with her a few times, and frankly she is a frightening woman and I am not sure if I would want to talk to her about her son anyway. She is very intimidating and yells a lot. I am very shy about approaching people and I would be afraid to cause a scene. I don't even know if this would be an appropriate thing to do anyway. I don't know what I would say, and probably anything I did say (no matter how respectful) it would probably seem like I was attacking her or judging her or whatever. So it probably wouldn't do any good. Plus she knows her son is aggressive but like I said, she refuses to do anything about it.
This past week seems to have been very hard on DD. Now she cries as soon as she sees this boy. She used to play with him and they got along after the morning transition, but now she get upset before he even comes up to her. I am about to take her from 5 days a week to 2 days because I can't deal with this anymore. I know kids hit, goodness knows DD has hit me plenty of times, but this is out of control. Part of me feels like I shouldn't have to stop taking her to daycare because of somebody else's kid, but that's all I know to do at this point.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Daycare Friend Hits Her *Another Update* Not Good!!!
honestly I would tell the daycare its her or me. it should be an easy choice if the mother is as mean as the little boy, im sure the workers don't like dealing with them. If the daycare says they cant deny the family daycare then I would le
I'm sorry your daughter is still being treated so badly, by this child and by the daycare, IMO. My child is not in daycare but based on many stories from my friends, if a child did things like this little boy often enough, the child would be kick
This is not good. Why doesn't the daycare have a policy about hitting/biting/etc.? Most daycares will have a three strikes policy to jump start the parent of the offender into taking action. I'm really surprised they have let this continue on. </p
I'm so sorry you're in such a crappy situation. All of the pp's have given you lots of advice, so I can't say anything new other than support what they've already said. I would totally not tolerate this and would be beyond livid if another
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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Notes:
This is a horrible situation and I'm so sorry your LO is dealing with it. You sound very level-headed about the whole thing and it sounds like you have been patient and waited for things to work themselves out.
HOWEVER, your daughter
~TTC since 01/09~
~SA & B/W - 06/09 - Normal~
~Encouraged by OB to "just keep trying" 06/09 - 06/10 (oh, the wasted time)~
~HSG - 08/10 - Clear/Normal~
~Lapo - 01/11 - Normal~
~Clomid 50mg, Trigger shot, Prometrium - 01/11, 02/11, 03/11~
~BFN - 02/11~
~IUI #1 03/15/11~
BFP 3/28/2011
Diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks. Controlled through diet and exercise. No insulin.
Diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy @ 36 weeks.
Delivered via C-section @ 36 weeks on 11/9/11.
First off, the boy can certainly well learn that he can't get away with that sort of behavior at daycare even if he can get away with it at home. I would argue that daycare is NOT doing enough about this if it's been going on for a year.
Se
~TTC since 01/09~
~SA & B/W - 06/09 - Normal~
~Encouraged by OB to "just keep trying" 06/09 - 06/10 (oh, the wasted time)~
~HSG - 08/10 - Clear/Normal~
~Lapo - 01/11 - Normal~
~Clomid 50mg, Trigger shot, Prometrium - 01/11, 02/11, 03/11~
~BFN - 02/11~
~IUI #1 03/15/11~
BFP 3/28/2011
Diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks. Controlled through diet and exercise. No insulin.
Diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy @ 36 weeks.
Delivered via C-section @ 36 weeks on 11/9/11.
Just wanted to say so sorry you and your little girl are going through this, I tried to put myself in your shoes and I can imagine how upset I would be! It's hard enough to leave LO at daycare and go to work every day, and that's knowing that he
7lbs 13oz 20 inches long
Ditto PPs that this is as much the daycare's fault as the child. Ensuring that your child will be kept from harm is a reasonable expectation, and they are not providing a safe place for your child.
Kids will hit/bite, it's part of the toddler yea
Doesn't it seem like your daughter would be better off at this point with 2 daycare moves rather than continuing to persist another moment in this situation that she is unable to communicate about and is unable to defend herself against?
If the