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MIL

MaryanneNMaryanneN member
in LGBT Parenting
I just need to vent. I also wanted to see if anyone else has had a similar experience or has any advice.

So my wife and I are together 6yrs and married 3. We have a beautiful home and my wife knew that I wanted to have children. We have started the process and we naturally want to tell our Moms. K told her mom and her reaction was so off. She said several things " If you spit up sheme will take the child and her family will too" I am carrying " I hope you know what you are getting into." These statements are said with no foundation.

I knew she struggled with our relationship, has accepted it, but this reaction was so upsetting.
So should I say something? I am not confrontational, so I would only want it to be a positive response to make my mil think.
Thanks for reading:
33 Years Old

Married 7/7/10 - Provincetown MA on the beach -

Reception October 23, 2010 - Martha Clara Vinyards, North Fork Long Island

5/12/13 - 5/13/13 IUI #1 - BFN
6/14/13 - IUI #2 - BFN - 7/17/13 - IUI#3 - BFN Clomid cycle 100mg 08/13 - cancelled bc produced too many eggs. Clomid cycle 50mg 10/13 - IUI#4- BFN. Clomid. Switched Dr in November. IUI#5 11/20 and 11/21 with trigger and clomid. -TWW {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Trying to Conceive Ticker}
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Re: MIL

  • firstcomeslove2013firstcomeslove2013 member

    I'm so sorry to hear this happened. It could be that your MIL is speaking out of fear and misunderstanding. I think these situations are hard because every family dynamic is different.

     

    In my experience with conflict resolution I wou

    Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
    First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013, Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013, Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013, Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013, Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013

    C began IUI's
    7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN, 8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN , Took a break in September and October, 11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN, Took off the month to switch to an RE. 01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014

    03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!

    1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.

    Ultrasound at 18 weeks on 7/14/2014. Baby is healthy and growing just as she should!

     

    Check out my blog at: http://journeytoparenthoodandmakingmilk.blogspot.com/

     

    image

     

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  • MaryanneNMaryanneN member
    Thank you: that definitely helps. I have been debating about saying anything at all. I was thinking of doing exactly what you suggested if I even decide to get involved. I really appreciate the feedback.
    33 Years Old

    Married 7/7/10 - Provincetown MA on the beach -

    Reception October 23, 2010 - Martha Clara Vinyards, North Fork Long Island

    5/12/13 - 5/13/13 IUI #1 - BFN
    6/14/13 - IUI #2 - BFN - 7/17/13 - IUI#3 - BFN Clomid cycle 100mg 08/13 - cancelled bc produced too many eggs. Clomid cycle 50mg 10/13 - IUI#4- BFN. Clomid. Switched Dr in November. IUI#5 11/20 and 11/21 with trigger and clomid. -TWW {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Trying to Conceive Ticker}
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  • hgsahgsa member
    Will you be doing a 2nd parent adoption or anything similar? Letting your MIL know this may help ease that fear. If she knows there are legal documents in place that protect her daughter's rights to the child she may relax. It's silly to think of but it d
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  • trisholiotrisholio member

    My initial reaction is to confront her and make her understand your relationship is stable and loving.  My in my experience actions show more than words.  Your MIL is going to think what she wants.  She will see with your actions that yo

    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



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  • MaryanneNMaryanneN member
    imagehgsa:
    Will you be doing a 2nd parent adoption or anything similar? Letting your MIL know this may help ease that fear. If she knows
    33 Years Old

    Married 7/7/10 - Provincetown MA on the beach -

    Reception October 23, 2010 - Martha Clara Vinyards, North Fork Long Island

    5/12/13 - 5/13/13 IUI #1 - BFN
    6/14/13 - IUI #2 - BFN - 7/17/13 - IUI#3 - BFN Clomid cycle 100mg 08/13 - cancelled bc produced too many eggs. Clomid cycle 50mg 10/13 - IUI#4- BFN. Clomid. Switched Dr in November. IUI#5 11/20 and 11/21 with trigger and clomid. -TWW {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Trying to Conceive Ticker}
    Report Reply
  • MaryanneNMaryanneN member
    imagetrisholio:
    My initial reaction is to confront her and make her understand your relationship is stable and loving. nbsp;My in my exp
    33 Years Old

    Married 7/7/10 - Provincetown MA on the beach -

    Reception October 23, 2010 - Martha Clara Vinyards, North Fork Long Island

    5/12/13 - 5/13/13 IUI #1 - BFN
    6/14/13 - IUI #2 - BFN - 7/17/13 - IUI#3 - BFN Clomid cycle 100mg 08/13 - cancelled bc produced too many eggs. Clomid cycle 50mg 10/13 - IUI#4- BFN. Clomid. Switched Dr in November. IUI#5 11/20 and 11/21 with trigger and clomid. -TWW {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Trying to Conceive Ticker}
    Report Reply
  • hgsahgsa member

    imageMaryanneN:
    imagehgsa:</s
    Report Reply
  • MaryanneNMaryanneN member
    Thank you:
    33 Years Old

    Married 7/7/10 - Provincetown MA on the beach -

    Reception October 23, 2010 - Martha Clara Vinyards, North Fork Long Island

    5/12/13 - 5/13/13 IUI #1 - BFN
    6/14/13 - IUI #2 - BFN - 7/17/13 - IUI#3 - BFN Clomid cycle 100mg 08/13 - cancelled bc produced too many eggs. Clomid cycle 50mg 10/13 - IUI#4- BFN. Clomid. Switched Dr in November. IUI#5 11/20 and 11/21 with trigger and clomid. -TWW {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fswiss\fcharset0 Helvetica;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red51\green51\blue51;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sl280\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs22 \cf2 \cb3 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 Trying to Conceive Ticker}
    Report Reply
  • GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member

    I totally understand where you are coming from. My MIL is a beast. DW and I considered TTC early last year and we decided to tell MIL that we were considering. Her reaction was a blank face. She never spoke of it again. 

    In fact, a month or

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
    image
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