April 2012 Moms

HELP!!!!

What would you do....

I just found out that the daycare/inhome babysitter who has kept Robbie since he was 8 weeks old is closing it's doors.  Amy just isnt able to afford it since she has had a couple of kids leave and hasn't been able to fill their spots.  She has a 13 year old son that she has to take care of and says that by keeping the daycare open this long, she has pretty much depleted all of her savings, checking, etc.  She told us today that her last day is next friday (4/26).  Robbie LOVES her.  She was sobbing when she told me because she is so upset.  She loves Robbie and doesn't want this to happen, but has to take care of her own family.  Robbie is in the age of "stranger danger" where he will not go to anyone.  He wants mommy, his Oma (my mom), or Amy.  He is comfortable with us and if anyone else comes near or tries to take him, he goes hysterical from being so nervous/scared.  DH and I make decent money together.  His salary pays all of our monthly bills and mine goes straight to savings.  Currently we owe $59,000 on our house (valued at $165,000) and $19,000 in a home equity loan.  We have no vehicle debt, no student loans, or anything like that.  DH brings home approximately $2200/month and right now I bring home between 1800/month (I carry all healthcare insurance, etc on myself and Robbie).  Our monthly bills total approx $1000 (that includes daycare of $360.month that will no longer be coming out).  If you were in my situation - would you suck it up and find another babysitter/daycare and keep working --- or would you quit your job and stay home with your kiddo? 

BFP #1 - 04/11/2011 - EDD: 12/22/2011 -Natural MC 5/18/2011 @ 8w6d BFP

BFP #2 - 08/12/2011 - EDD: 04/21/2012 1st U/S 9/12/2011 - Healthy baby seen -- Heartbeat at 166!

BFP #3 - 08/02/2014 - EDD: 04/09/2015 ---Prayers for a take home baby

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Re: HELP!!!!

  • Honestly, since it sounds like you are in a financially stable situation, I think you need to decide whether it would be emotionally healthy or unhealthy for you to stay home.  Some parents are excellent working at home--I have the utmost respect for parents who work in the home.  I personally think it's the hardest job on the planet, but also one of the most rewarding.  Others that separation time between baby and parent and the reward of an outside the home job.  There's no right or wrong.  What about you?  Ask yourself that and go from there.

     If you determine that keeping your job is the best decision for your family life, then remember as you look for daycares that Robbie may be scared at first, but he will come to love the new place, too.  Transition is never easy, but it does end:)

    Also, that's amazing that you were only paying $360 a month in daycare. No wonder they couldn't keep open! We pay almost 3 times that for an in-home...and we're not even in a major city. That's awesome you found something so wonderful for such a good deal for so long!  

     Good luck with a tough decision!

     

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  • I think I would just stay home with my kiddo. That's what I do now because there's no way we could afford everthing plus childcare for 3 kids. It's hard but we just watch our spending.
  • For me, it would be a no brainer I would stay at home.  Everyone is different though.  Getting debt paid off and savings is not as important to me as being able to stay home.  As long as your income isn't needed to pay bills, I'd stay home.  I also know that your situation is different than mine.  Can you get insurance through your husband?  Is your husband supportive of that?  I believe in the past he did not want you to stay at home?  It has to be a decision you and your husband make together.
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  • If you want to stay home, then it sounds like it would work for you financially. However, I don't think you should quit your job just because your current childcare provider is closing up shop. While a new daycare would be a transition for your LO, children are amazingly adaptable. Of the three of us, I know C has transitioned the easiest in our move to Virginia, and she had her grandmother watching her when we were in Los Angeles! She's also in a bit of stranger danger, but she immediately fell in love with one of the teachers at her new daycare and that teacher loves her to pieces. So, take heart, it may not be as bad as you fear.

      

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  • DH and I are going tonight to tour a daycare facility.  It's the newest in town and is supposedly really great.  We still haven't completely decided between childcare facility or stay at home mom.  DH and I both want me to stay at home - but we are very focused right now on getting debt paid off so that we can ensure that LO and future LOs are well taken care of.  Our goal is to make sure that we are financially capable of paying for their college educations without taking out massive loans and so that they don't have to get student loans and be up to their eyeballs in debt when they first start out.  We are 28 years old and have already paid off a little over $50,000 in debt within the last 5 years.  Thanks for all of your all's advice....I think we are going to try and just look for another sitter and I'm going to keep working.  I just hope leaving him with a stranger doesn't kill me haha

    BFP #1 - 04/11/2011 - EDD: 12/22/2011 -Natural MC 5/18/2011 @ 8w6d BFP

    BFP #2 - 08/12/2011 - EDD: 04/21/2012 1st U/S 9/12/2011 - Healthy baby seen -- Heartbeat at 166!

    BFP #3 - 08/02/2014 - EDD: 04/09/2015 ---Prayers for a take home baby

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  • Good luck with everything... I just had to comment because I can't believe how much you are paying for daycare!! We pay $300 per week! That is average around here. We pay about $1,200 a month just for daycare alone. Sometimes I wish I could afford to stay home. I say if you can afford it, go for it.

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