In law vent! (Long)

JBDamonM · April 2013

Warning - this post is a total vent!

So, back in February when I had my baby shower, my mother in law literally tried to bail on it an hour beforehand. We had had a blizzard in the days before and she called and said she couldn't make it bc she had no one to care for her mother (who she lives with). My brother in law wound up going over to take care of her. MIL showed up 40 minutes late and left after an hour. Her gift was 5 outfits - which were bought that day - as the gift receipt stated.

Fast forward to the arrival of our daughter. I listen to DH call her from delivery room and tell her she can come visit anytime after 12:00 when were in recovery - and tha they are taking baby for bath and were going to bed etc. 45 min later there is a knock on the delivery room door, and surprise its my MIL. Yup, as I'm spread eagle on the table being catheterized and padded up. She had totally taken it upon herself to show up, and I have no idea how she even got past the hospital staff.

since coming home with the baby my in laws are totally overwhelming me. DH is one of 5 kids. One sister and her family want to be here all the time. I try and remind myself that its nice how excited they are but I find it SO overwhelming. She as 2 kids ages 2 and 5, who come in and real havoc running around and screaming. They want to hold the baby and honestly all I can think about is the germ factor. His other sister and her daughter and husband showed up yesterday afternoon for the first time and stayed for 2.5 hours. Yes - two and a half hours, through dinner, just hanging out. Again as a new mom who is breast feeding and has to continuously excuse herself its totally overwhelming. And unfortunately for as awesome as my husband has been since the babies arrival - he doesn't see eye to eye with me on this. He loves their excitement and tells me I'm just disappointed with my own family not being over here (which I whole heartedly disagree with!)

The real kicker came today - MIL calls as I am nursing and have a friend here meeting baby. Leaves message announcing she's coming over to drop stuff off. Shows up with clothes, food etc. and while that's nice - frankly I'm sick of it onLu being on her terms. LO was totally fussy (which is out of character for her)... And yet she insisted on holding her. Then I find out she's telling DHs sister that "I hate her"....... This makes me want to scream. Of course I have issues with you; you practically blew off my baby shower. And you had NO interest in me as your daughter in law until I gave you a baby. And sadly I guarantee you if said baby was a boy, shed be even less interested. (She just loves to accessorize her grand daughters!) I'm just beyond annoyed. There is absolutely NO need to stir the pot and make family drama when I've just had a baby. My baby is my priority, appeasing her is not.

no point to this post, I really needed to vent it out and thought other FTM's may get some of these frustrations!!

jkkg317 · April 2013

That is really overwhelming and it sucks that everyone drops by like that. Can you try going in a room with LO until they leave? It's harder if H isn't on your side and not understanding. Otherwise you could insist on a half hour window that they can stay

Sarahbeth1169 · April 2013

In-laws are not always the easy to deal with. My MIL refused to help with you shower. My Mom planned our shower which she was more happy to do a lone then with my MIL. Then my MIL planned a shower for my husband and I and we werent even there! So I totall

JBDamonM · April 2013

jkkg317:
That is really overwhelming and it sucks that everyone drops by like that. Can you try going in a room with LO until

jkkg317 · April 2013

JBDamonM:
jkkg317:<

Mandmeesh · April 2013

Wow...just, wow. I know you're not looking for advice, just venting, but try to get out of your head that you gave MIL a baby. That baby is yours and yours only. Maybe try putting a mean hat on and being stern and firm with people like yu feel like you

JBDamonM · April 2013

Mandmeesh:
Wow...just, wow. I know you're not looking for advice, just venting, but try to get out of your head that you gave

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