24 single mom to be needs advice!!

Meka177 · April 2013

Hey there I'm 2 months pregnant now and while I'm blessed that the father wants to be in our baby's life fingers crossed he lasts all 9 months etc. I'm still stuck feeling really confused and extremely emotional. We stopped dating in January and later in Febuary reconnected for one night and well you can all guess the rest haha but he had broken up with me because "he doesnt want to be with anyone right now but if he did want a relationship it would be with me". We still are not planning to be together and I guess what I'm trying to ask is if there are any other moms to be or single mothers out there that have experienced what I am going through...I'm so happy he is being helpful and excited about the baby but it's so hard to fight the feelings I had for him they keep coming back are break up was still so fresh and he broke my heart. It is so hard to get over someone while you have to spend so much time bonding with them at the same time. I told him I just wanted to see where things go with us while I was pregnant. But now my feelings are growing and I'm getting scared because all I seem to do is cry and I don't want it to affect my baby

And for a little more background yes we are still intimate. It was my idea no his haha at the time it seemed like a good idea I'm pregnant not a nun haha

pinitbaby · April 2013

Hi, I haven't been in your situation but I will say that your situation is unique to you girl. Maybe baby's father is afraid, feels he isn't good enough? Or maybe he's right and he just really isn't ready to settle down...bring a baby into the mixture and he's gonna run like the wind. Maybe it's better that you guys just stay the way you are, as odd as it feels since you're carrying his child lol Things work in mysterious ways...you just never know how it'll turn out.

Runaway22 · April 2013

Speaking from experience... If he doesn't want to commit to you, and you're afraid of getting hurt, the intimacy has to stop. It sucks, especially with all those awesome pregnancy hormones, but it will only make things harder in the end. Being intimate with him will not make him change his mind and decide to commit to you. It just doesn't work like that.

I am so sorry for what you're going through. I know what it's like to mother the child of a man you're in love with who doesn't see value in committing to you over being "single." It hurts worse than most any other kind of heartache. Keep your family and friends close, because they can keep you grounded - and occupied when it hurts the most. Good luck

hansonam446 · April 2013

Runaway22:
Speaking from experience... If he doesn't want to commit to you, and you're afraid of getting hurt, the intimacy has to stop. It sucks, especially with all those awesome pregnancy hormones, but it will only make things harder in the end. Being intimate with him will not make him change his mind and decide to commit to you. It just doesn't work like that.nbsp;I am so sorry for what you're going through. I know what it's like to mother the child of a man you're in love with who doesn't see value in committing to you over being "single." It hurts worse than most any other kind of heartache. Keep your family and friends close, because they can keep you grounded and occupied when it hurts the most. Good luck :

This. He's having his cake and eating it too. He's getting the goods of being in a relationship without actually committing. It's great he wants to be involved with the baby but you need to stop sleeping with him for your own sanity. Nothing will change if you keep going like you are. Sorry.

rpalen29 · April 2013

sounds like he just wants friends with benefits. OP, don't give into it. I'd give him an ultimatum. Either he's with you exclusively, or nothing at all. Would you be heartbroken if he had sex with another woman?

do this for your child, and for you. You'll save alot of heartbreak later on.

newmommiee91 · April 2013

I have to agree with the other ladies... He's having his cake and eating it too. Why would he commit when he can be single, but still have your commitment and intimacy? Don't let him string you along. I would nicely tell him you are excited to co-parent. If he tries to get into bed with you, tell him you're not having sex with him if he wants to be single. You don't have to say it in a bitter way, just say you're not interested in sex with someone who is not committed to you. If he changes his mind about you he will do it when you cut him off... Eventually. If he doesnt then it would have never worked. Ask yourself, what are you gaining by sleeping with him? Other than heartache. Any kind of intimacy will only make everything harder for you and nothing will get better only worse. Be strong and I wish you the best

GL

peacebutton888 · April 2013

WOW ok so I'm also 24 and 2 months pregnant!! The father and me had broke up a week before a found out I was pregnant and he had already moved to Flordia nand I live in Virginia!!! When I told him the news he didn't really know what to think at first but said he totally wanted to be there for me and his baby and that he would help me and move back here and yadda yadda yadda. I was crossing my fingers and hoping that it was all true and that we would be this big happy family, even though the little voice in the back of my head/heart kept telling me the same thing yours is you, what if he doesnt make it the whole 9 months?! What do i do? Well it's been almost 2 weeks now and I haven't heard from the babies father. 2 days before he was supposed to come up here he quit calling texting and answering his phone. I guess he just wasn't ready to give his life up and handle his responsibilities. It sucks but I know that I'm going to have to do this on my own and make sure I can support my baby by myself in every way possible! That little voice that's scared is probablly your intution and my advice would be to hope and pray that your babies daddy will be there to support you guys and be a family BUT just to be on the safe side I would check into all the local programs that help with single moms and pregnancies and just prepare yourself like you're going to have to do it on your own. That way just in case the story doesnt get a happy ending like mine didnt you'll be prepared and will be doing and have done whats best for you and the baby. Which is ultimatley what's important. Hope I could help!

ghostof5letters · April 2013

Say this child of yours is a daughter. How would you feel about a guy treating her this way?

L Ros · May 2013

I had this problem with my now ex bf. we broke up for a couple weeks after four years together because of some problems. Got back together earlier this year and he broke up with me earlier this month [right before we found out, although we had been teying]. I say walk away. I probably would have gone back to him [he does that same stuff about how important I am to him when he wants to get back together and I have always fallen for it], but now that I need to worry about my baby I told him there's no chance. I don't want my child having to go trough the back and forth of whether or not mommy and daddy are together and I don't want them to think its fine to be treated as an option. In the end, do what you feel is best for you and baby, but I personally would say he's a no go.

Meka177 · May 2013

Thank you everyone!! I have decided to end it and just be friends especially because his idiot roommate decided to start selling drugs so I have a whole other set of things to worry about now....he would be so much better off without this loser as a roommate but that's not for me to figure out I'm not his mother and I have to think about the best interest of my child and right now he isn't it thank you everyone

Want a personalized experience?

24 single mom to be needs advice!!

Re: 24 single mom to be needs advice!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards