Lost our rainbow baby

ratsuda726 · April 2013

DH & I lost our 1st baby at 8weeks on 4/13/12. We found out we were pregnant with rainbow baby in October 2012. So excited, but still afraid with the thought of losing this baby too. All of our checkups, blood work, and ultrasounds looked great, which had me relieved. Then at our 20 week anatomy scan, the tech mentioned our little girl was measuring about 3 weeks behind, but due to baby's positioning it was hard to get all the measurements they needed. But everything else looked ok. We even had a gender reveal party that weekend with our friends. Then we went to our Ob's office 2 weeks later to follow up. The baby was still in the same position, so they still couldn't get all the measurements they needed. They then sent me to a MFM dr that had better U/S machine. Everything was going great, we got to see our baby playing with her hands on the screen. Then the tech said she was going to get the Dr. He walks in with a genetic counselor, ( I immediately knew something was wrong) and tells me that the baby is measuring small, very small, and that he thinks she had some form of a lethal skeletal dysplasia and she wouldn't survive the pregnancy and if she did, she would die shortly after delivery. He then proceeded to ask if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy or have amnio done. My husband & I were in shock & disbelief that this was happening. We told the Dr (who was cold & had horrible bedside manners) that we would call them to set up appointment for amnio because we wanted to think about the risks of it. In the meantime, we got an appointment at the best children's hospital in the country (CHOP) where after the 3 hour ultrasound they did reassure me that the baby did NOT have skeletal dysplasia, but there was something wrong as there wasn't alot of fluid & she wasn't moving around a lot. They did an E-gram of her heart. At the end of all the tests, they told us she had severe IUGR with reverse ended diastolic flow & that I would lose her soon. We tried to hold onto hope that she would somehow make it, but found out 3/19/13 at 26 weeks that our daughter no longer had a heartbeat. I was induced for labor on 3/21/13 and delivered our little girl at 8:27pm. She weighed only 5 1/2 ounces & was 9 inches long. I will never forget holding our Gioia, I still revisit that moment in my head many times during the day. She will always be in our hearts. We are still completely heartbroken.We want to try again so bad as soon as we can, but I'm terrified of having to go through this again. Waiting on our test results to see if these losses could be genetically connected/related or just flukes. The physical pain doesn't even compare to the emotional pain we're going through. It's been 3 weeks today, I would do anything just to feel her flutters again in my belly. My heart aches not just for my loss, but for anyone that has to go through this.

lenya_35 · April 2013

I'm so so sorry for the loss of your sweet Gioia. I'm sending you tons of hugs and love. I hope you're able to find some support and comfort here on this board.

lrichmond86 · April 2013

Ticker warning

I'm so sorry for your loss. There aren't words for the pain that comes with losing your child. I hate welcoming you here, but I hope that you find the loving support that I have found from the wonderful women in this b

Carolee · April 2013

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, Gioia. Welcome to the board, although it breaks my heart that you have to join us.

shandorfml2 · April 2013

So sorry for the loss of your precious baby. I hope you can find some comfort on this board.

Williamandshawnna · April 2013

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Gioia. You've have found an amazing group of woman here to help support you during this difficult time. Please be gentle on yourself.

I am sorry you had such a bad experience with the MFM.

I wish

jess123456 · April 2013

Huge hugs to you. I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you aren't alone. We also lost our baby girl to a heartbreaking diagnosis back in September. This board has been such an incredible support to me and I hope it brings you just as much co

HullGut · April 2013

I'm so sorry that your baby is not here with you. It's just not fair. It's hard because you lost a baby buy also the life you had envisioned for them. It's such a shocking change, some days I still don't believe it. Hang in there, I'm so sorry.

ratsuda726 · April 2013

Thanks so much for all the support ladies. Yesterday was pretty rough as it was the 1year mark of losing our first baby. Losing 2 babies in less than 1 year is so hard.

angelsnight · April 2013

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter Gioia. I hate that you have to be here but glad you found this board. MH and I also had an early loss and now our recent later loss and I know exactly what you mean about wanting to try again soon but

Heatherhah · April 2013

I am so sorryt hat you have to join us and I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Gioia!! We are all here for you if and whne you need us. You are among friends who unfortunately share the same pain!! Hugs to you and your family!

Heather