Another WWYD

flerlgirl · April 2013

My mom just called. She's at the hospital. DH and I are at home. She wanted to hold Joshua. We had already decided that only we were going to hold him since we get so little time to do so. She replied that the nurse said it was okay for him to be held and she really wanted to.

We said no and she started crying. Are we being unreasonable? DH said he was uncomfortable with it bc we aren't there and he wants to be there. I agree because we know Josh's cues and when he needs to go back in to his bed.

On the other hand, she's his grandmother, and I'm afraid we're using all of our past issues with her against her unfairly.

Thoughts?

Temp53431437508241 · April 2013

If you made that decision, it was for a reason. I'd just stick to it for continuity's sake, and she'll have to get over it. Just tell her that this is a universal rule, and you'll be happy to let her hold him when you're there.

If you're that unc

ConnieRob · April 2013

Your kid, your rules. Like you said, you know his cues, if you're not there to keep an eye on things, your Mom may accidentally stress him out.

ESD_0707 · April 2013

I can see both sides. I feel bad for her not being able to hold her grandbaby, but ultimately she should respect your decision.

BLT20051 · April 2013

ConnieRob:
Your kid, your rules. Like you said, you know his cues, if you're not there to keep an eye on things, your Mom may accid

FordFalcor · April 2013

Yikes, that's tough.

Here's what I'm thinking:

She IS already there, nurse okayed it. This is what I would say: "Mom, I understand how much this would mean to you to hold your grandson. In the future, we don't really want anyone

flerlgirl · April 2013

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
Conn

flerlgirl · April 2013

ihearttab:
Yikes, that's tough.

Here's what I'm thinking:

She IS already there, nurse okayed it. This is

BLT20051 · April 2013

flerlgirl:
ihearttab:</str

bride05Jules · April 2013

I would only want to allow others while at least you or DH are there. Have it put on his chart or on the wall or something that way the rule is for all and you don't hurt her feelings.

flerlgirl · April 2013

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:
fler

BLT20051 · April 2013

flerlgirl:
Bacon+lettuce+t

duffmaker · April 2013

I agree with you, you and the hubbs made a decision together and you did it for a reason. Don't feel bad about standing behind it. Personally, I would feel the same way a you guys and I know my mom would probably throw a complete fit if I said no to her b

Luthy · April 2013

I think you are totally right to insist you be there if anyone else holds him, especially if that nurse isn't that familiar with him. Big hugs.

BLT20051 · April 2013

The more important thing now is standing by your decision and not letting her wear you down. No means no and you need to stick to it. Otherwise in the future she will be all "well, you said not but then changed your mind" and do what she pleases.

skio · April 2013

You're fine, mama. You're allowed to be protective and make the rules when it comes to holding your fragile guy.

I personally think it's kind of weird that she went there without you. Maybe I'm making a harsh assumption but it's almost like

flerlgirl · April 2013

Baconlettucetomato:

Lol. Lay down the law sheriff! Time to put on your grown up britches and start making the rules.<

flerlgirl · April 2013

Baconlettucetomato:
The more important thing now is standing by your decision and not letting her wear you down. No means no and yo

flerlgirl · April 2013

skio:
You're fine, mama. You're allowed to be protective and make the rules when it comes to holding your fragile guy.
<br

BLT20051 · April 2013

flerlgirl:
Baconlettucetom

liisacecille · April 2013

I agree: he's your baby, not your mom's. she can wait until you get there. Your reasons matter, but not in light of the fact that you made a call. She needs to respect that. End of story :

flerlgirl · April 2013

liisacecille:
I agree: he's your baby, not your mom's. she can wait until you get there. Your reasons matter, but not in light of t

ariaforte8 · April 2013

flerlgirl:
iheartta

KHadden26 · April 2013

I think you made the right move

If my mom were to do that, I would be upset with her simply for going to the hospital without telling me, nevermind asking to hold him! I'd freak on her most likely and the crying probably wouldn't make me change m

amypogg6 · April 2013

Don't question yourself. You are 100% doing the right thing. Don't give into her now. It's harder to make rules stricter than to gradually lighten them. You did a good job.

FordFalcor · April 2013

Yeaaa...I'm clearly the board pushover. lol

Listen to everyone else. I struggle with setting boundaries with my own mother so I really have horrible advice.

WhitWed · April 2013

If your gut instinct is telling you that he shouldn't be held without you or DH present then that is absolutely the right decision for your family. It's a tough situation.

From a different perspective, I was a preemie baby and had to be tra

flerlgirl · April 2013

ihearttab:
Yeaaa...I'm clearly the board pushover. lol

Listen to everyone else. I struggle with setting boundaries wi

flerlgirl · April 2013

WhitWed:
If your gut instinct is telling you that he shouldn't be held without you or DH present then that is absolutely the right

RedCherry1109 · April 2013

Bacon+lettuce+tomato:

kristinrae914 · April 2013

flerlgirl:
Bacon+le

courty625 · April 2013

Because of your other issues with her there were previous ones right and I'm not going crazy? I say set your boundaries and stick to them. My mom would be a hot crying mess too, but it's your choice. Maybe set up a time she can meet you there so she can h

Want a personalized experience?

Another WWYD

Re: Another WWYD

Choose Another Board

Search Boards