too much princess stuff!

Mrs.RockyM · April 2013

DH made a comment that DD is too into dresses and tights and pink and it's all because of the princess obsession and we need to get her into other things.

What do you all do to combat the princess obsession? I encourage other shows and characters and stuff like that, but she gets so much of it from her friends at school - and I have no control over that.

neverblushed · April 2013

Eh -- like any other kid obsession, it will pass.

I think you and your DH have to examine what bothers you about the princess thing. Is it the girliness of it that you don't like (i.e., you would be fine if it was horses, or pirates, or backyardigans, but you really don't like that she's into something so frou-frou)? Or is it just that your DD is fixated on this one thing and it's sort of annoying to have everything revolve around the current obsession?

If it's the frou-frou-ness of her princess obsession, I think you want to be careful not to be too overtly critical of the princesses or too obvious in your attempts to steer her towards something else. You may get more traction by making sure you convey to her that you value ALL of her qualities, not just the traditional feminine ones that tend to be associated with the princesses.

Be careful not to send her mixed messages. For instance, I have a friend whose husband constantly tells his 5 y/o DD "you can be anything you want to be!" But I have never known this guy to compliment the child on something other than her looks. He'll even call her "Daddy's pretty girl!" I've never heard him praise her for DOING anything. Only for looking good. In fact, he often complains about how much of a brat she is whenever she DOES anything.I don't think he has any idea how much he's sending a mixed message.

shopgirl78 · April 2013

Don't. It passes too quickly and what it turns into isn't as sweet (Barbie, My Little Pony, then Monster High, etc). Use this time, to take her to Disney and live the princess phase up to its fullest! I'm so glad we did. DD no longer watches the movies and is into Big Time Rush, Taylor Swift, Good Luck Charlie, Full House etc...not bad stuff, but not exactly little girl stuff either...

eta: By 5.5, this phase was over for us.

la79al · April 2013

I don't think the dresses and tights and pink thing necessarily has to do with the princesses, it's more about dressing up in frilly fluffyness. I agree with PP. Don't rush this phase. Soon enough it will be jeans with holes and over revealing shirts and you will want this back (my stepdaughter is 11).

LoCarb · April 2013

Definitely let her go through the princess phase. DD still likes princesses but is no longer obsessed. Now, she's really into old school comic heros. Like HeMan, Spiderman (80's version), Flash Gordon,etc...It's like she did a 180. I can only imagine what she will be into next.

memali26 · April 2013

I think a lot of girls are just naturally drawn to dresses and pink and tights. Before DD1 ever saw a princess movie or book or toy she preferred to wear dresses and tights and has always seemed to like pink and purple over most other colors. Now we're deep into the princess obsession, but we've chosen to embrace it, let her be a little girl with big dreams of princesses and ballerinas, and also use it as a teaching opportunity. We have several Disney Princess books that talk about princess character qualities - things like kind, gentle, smart, brave - and talk to her about how she is acting like a princess when she is helpful and kind, etc. We're teaching her that she's a princess, and that means she is special and wonderful and deserves to be valued as such. Obviously now at 3 she doesn't understand why self-worth is important, but I hope that starting know will help it stick with her.

And as the others have said, they're only little for so long. I'd rather indulge fun, innocent, frilly things like princesses and wanting to wear dresses and tights and loving pink than some of the stuff I see my friend's with older daughters already starting to deal with.

jlw2505 · April 2013

Its a phase just like so many other things and she will grow out of it. I also don't think wearing dresses or pink is necessarily connected to the Princess thing. To me, that is a girly phase that most girls I know have gone through. My older DD is not very into Princesses but went through a huge dress phase. As far as combating it, just start doing other things like getting involved in other activities and try to watch non-princess movies but I honestly would not make a big deal about it. She will grow out it by 1st or 2nd grade from what I have seen from my nieces.

kada626 · April 2013

My younger daughter is 4 & she loves anything princess/pink/unicorns. She wears pink 95% of the time, everyday. I've never once worried about it. It's just the age & what she likes.

KathrynMD · April 2013

fredalina:
Hmmm. Well I'm anti princess. I don't like the values in the old fairy tales where the princess is hated for being beautiful and the man saves her. And then the happily ever after thing. Disney is getting better about this but they are still not something I encourage at all. She's seen Brave, Enchanted, and Tangled, and that's it for princess Disney. She picked up a liking for "princesses" at preschool but thinks it's really like a Barbie style doll with a dress. She doesn't really "get" it. She's also not a girly girl in general and likes SpiderMan and such. She would MUCH rather watch a SpiderMan movie than either of the girly girl princess movies I mentioned before; she does really like Brave though. At her request, Santa brought her a "princess" for Christmas but I found one that is not as boobalicious as the Barbie style ones. This princess looks like a little girl, not a fashion model. I probably tend to feed her SpiderMan obsession more than her mild interest in princesses because it fits her general personality better and when I have done things to help her explore the interest, like getting Tangled and Enchanted and a dress up princess dress, she watched them a few times but preferred SpiderMan, or put on the dress a couple of times but took it off and wore SpiderMan or her doctor costume all day instead. But I also intentionally don't flood the house with princess stuff. She has no princess books; but she's never asked for one. To her, princess is about like Dora. It's something other kids like so she'll express some interest in it, but in realty she'd rather watch Diego.

We're not really anti-princess, but we are VERY careful w/ the princess stuff. She's seen most of the old movies now, but not too often. But, look at Mulan as a positive, strong princess movie. Lots of good stuff there - and fighting and horses - so its a win/win for us!

KateLouise · April 2013

I'm pretty anti princess stuff too. I'm ok with other generically girly stuff like butterflies, ballerinas, fairies and lots of pink, but there's something about the idea of, "I'm a princess" that grates.

I'm into teaching girls that they are precious and should be valued, and that it's good to be kind, caring, brave, and any number of other virtues, but I hate the connotation of being a princess. For me the connotation of princesses is that they are spoilt, self-entitled, and self-involved, waiting for the man to save me.

Yes disney has tried to change some of that, but really it's still there.

I figure I don't need cartoons and films to teach my children important qualities.

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