LGBT Parenting

My legal two-cents

I just read an article about a man who was not only kicked out of his ailing partner's hospital room by family members, but he was also arrested for refusing to leave. 

Despite the law passed by President Obama stating that if a hospital receives medicaid or medicare, same-sex partners are to be given the same rights as legally married partners, this still happened.

My two cents as a lawyer: Take the time and create a living will. Yes, it is hard to think about what you would want to happen if you were in a coma and had no brain activity, BUT, personally, it would be even worse if my wife was refused to make the decisions that we talked about. Don't let the State, a doctor/nurse or even some homophobic family member make decisions for you. Create a living will.

Talk to your partner about what you want if the worst happens. Let them know your wishes.  

Create a medical power of attorney. It is not difficult. The document simply says that should you become incapacitated, your spouse will have the ability to make decisions on your behalf.

These documents should be kept somewhere safe and you should bring them with you when you go to the doctor or if there is ever an emergency.

Don't let this kind of homophobia take away your power. Regardless of what your State defines as marriage, these documents can NOT be voided by the State unless they are done incorrectly.

*end of legal rant* 

TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
  • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
  • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
  • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
  • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
  • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
  • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
  • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
  • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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Re: My legal two-cents

  • I second doing this as early as possible. I was a mess trying to get these done right before our csection as I wanted to make sure M was the one to make decisions for the boys and me if something should happen to me.

    You can find the forms onlin

    M & M
    06/12 - BFP!!!!
    Beta #1 15dpo - 256
    Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
    6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
    EDD 02/21/13
    09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
    Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks. photo F489900B-BB44-4C44-ACD1-ABB73509E3B2-9032-000005E7AE7EF53E.jpg Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • imagestringy813:

    you will have opened a can of worms here for me!

    Can you explain the difference between the two? Our midwife

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
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  • Thank you for this post. I read the story too and it was heart wrenching.

    I have filled out the "5 wishes" form with my wife as contact and also a halographic will, which I plan to formalize. I'm waiting to see what happens with federal marriage

    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
  • You can also get paperwork drawn that gives the non-bio parent (hate that term) decision making over your child in utero and immediately post birth as well as guardianship papers in the horrible event something happens during birth.

     You can

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
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