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Is this normal?

GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member
in LGBT Parenting

Hi all-

First of all, I love this board. I love following each and every one of your journeys. Thank you for posting.

My question: My DW and I are very active. We are always hiking, biking, kayaking or just plain on the go. We LOVE all of the outdoor things we do, especially our annual 3wk or more spring backpacking/camping/hiking trip we do. 

She is a full-time firefighter and I am an attorney who works from home, and although she works 24 hour shifts, she only works 10 days per month. My job allows me to work anywhere I can find an internet connection. 

We love sleeping in, we love our quiet and clean house. We love our relationship and what we have together.

My question: Do you ever have doubts about having a child? I feel like because we are same-sex and we literally have to plan every detail of conception, it is a little harder on all of us. We don't get the "oops, we are pregnant" or "Lets just try and see what happens" excuse. We have to plan every.single.detail.

I want to have a child with my wife. I want us to be a family. But there are some days when I wake up (or when I leave one of my 18 nieces and nephews) and think "Man, I love what we have NOW." However, there are also days when I think "We would be an amazing family and I would love to show our little one "this" or "that"..."

Does anyone else ever deal with this, or is it a sure thing, no questions kind of thing for most people?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!! 

TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
  • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
  • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
  • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
  • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
  • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
  • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
  • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
  • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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Re: Is this normal?

  • clairmeijclairmeij member
    I know that my partner had thoughts like this, and we still do - and I'm 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow :) She would often say that if one of us could just get pregnant without trying that it would just happen, but by being forced to plan it that it never fel
    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!


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  • GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member
    I know that if we are successful, we will be over the moon and adapt. It is however, great to hear we aren't the only ones! Congratulations on your little peanut at 30 weeks!

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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    Report Reply
  • ball.and.chainball.and.chain member
    Yes.  I still get this way sometimes -- despite our 5 frozen embryos sitting there waiting for us, despite the fact that I WAS pregnant and was thrilled about it, despite how devastated we were when we discovered it was not viable -- I still sometime
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • 2MamazInSeattle2MamazInSeattle member

    Oh, you are so normal! :) Well, my normal anyhow and I echo some of what was already posted. I definitely have those moments. And so does J. But here's the thing -  I find I have to dig a little deeper into the big picture, think about how I

    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

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  • GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member
    So well said, and so comforting...all of you!

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • mollykelleymollykelley member
    I echo all of the above! I'm so excited but fearful about how it will change our lives. K still thinks we are going to take two week road trips ever summer, take hiking and camping trips, and go up to the city on weekends. I'm a little more realistic but
    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
    Report Reply
  • songbird31songbird31 member
    It is a tough thing. To have such a personal journey be so deliberate and have so many people involved is sometimes disconcerting and creates more anxiety i feel. S and I still also have moments where we wonder how significantly our child impact our daily
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • trisholiotrisholio member

    I know JUST how you feel!  My DW and I have been together for for just over 3 years and will celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary in September.  It feels like we have been together a lot longer because we have dealt thru so much in the last

    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
                   
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K



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  • Twinkler2011Twinkler2011

    Pretty typical & I dont think this is just a same-sex thought process when trying to conceive. Your life is about to change and you have not experienced it yet. 

    Mostly what you will hear from people in your situation after baby is.

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member

    It really is a comforting feeling knowing that people have the same thoughts. Trisholio, I swear we met and married our DW's at the same time. We have been together 3 years next month and will be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary in October.&n

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • 2moms2b2moms2b member

    It is completely normal.  My partner and I were together almost 9 years before our boys were born.  We loved being able to do as we pleased but still realized something was missing from our family.

    I might sound like the mother of the

    M & M
    06/12 - BFP!!!!
    Beta #1 15dpo - 256
    Beta #2 18dpo - 1097
    6wk U/S on 07/02 ~ TWINS!!!
    EDD 02/21/13
    09/10/12 Found out it's two Boys!!!! Sam and Jake
    Jacob and Samuel born 1/29/13 at 36 weeks. photo F489900B-BB44-4C44-ACD1-ABB73509E3B2-9032-000005E7AE7EF53E.jpg Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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