So Friday the 4th, started like any other day. I was doing everything I can to kick start labor... walking, bouncing on the ball, eating spicy, etc, etc. Except this day I decided to try something else, I went to the park and swung on the swing set. Didnt really do anything at the time. For dinner, I had stuffed cabbage, my favorite to celebrate due date day!!
Well a few hours later I started having pains in my back, and bottom. I chalked it up to being the cabbage dinner, haha. Well I noticed the pain became more regular, and rythmic. I thought, hmm maybe this is early labor. Within 3 hours, I knew I was in labor, the contractions were painful and coming every 4-5 minutes, but I could still talk through them. So we headed to the hospital. I was hooked up and checked. Definitely having regular contractions, but no progress. BOO! So they said I could go home, or walk the hospital campus to see if I progress. I opted to go home, but asked the nurse how will I know to come back. She responded "trust me, you will know". And boy was she right.
I got home, and took a shower, because I felt gross. While in the shower, the contractions really started and I was unable to talk to walk through them. Full on back labor! I was gripping the couch and squatting. So we headed back to the hospital. And BAM, I was 5.5cm, fully effaced, and regular contractions. So I was admitted and got my much appreciated epidural. I felt like a new woman. It was wonderful. I had been up for 30 hours at this point, and it was 5am. They told me to get some sleep, and anticipate pushing by noon. Well, they checked me at 8:30, and I was 10cm!!! Baby was still a little high up, so the dr said I could rest till 10 and she anticipated that baby would be down by then.
She was right, at 10:30 we started pushing, by this time I had let most of my epi wear off because I wanted to feel where to push from. My Dr was amazing, she did perineal massage in between each contraction. It seemed like a long time of pushing, but my contractions were 4-5 min apart, so I had a lot of recovery time in between each which I appreciated. At 12:11pm, Ethan James entered the world like a rocket, 8lb 6oz. My water was never broke, because my doctor believes that if possible keep the bag intact because it keeps baby safe from bacteria in the vaginal tract during deliver. Well when he came out, it was like a water balloon explosion and sprayed all over the Dr, nurse, husband, and my sister. It looked like something from a movie. We immediately did skin to skin, breast feeding, and delayed cord cutting. Amazing, I fell so in love with him.
Fast forward 4 days, DS started running a fever the day after we were discharged home. Being a ER nurse I freaked out, and took him straight to the Peds ER (where I work). He was severely dehydrated, jaundiced, and lethargic. He got the whole septic work up. IV's, bloodwork, fluids, antibiotics and a spinal tap. I was a mess, I was down on my knees in the bathroom of our hospital room praying that he would be okay. Thank god for my husband who was with my son, comforting him through every procedure. I couldnt watch, I couldnt hear him cry, I was a mess myself. I felt so bad that I wasn't strong enough for him. Thank god for my mom, who was there for me the whole time. When she was there, I was able to get some sleep for an hour or two on the pullout bed, I was able to shower and attemp to take care of myself ( I had an episiotomy), Eventhough Im 28, I guess i'm still her 'baby'.
I never cried so much in my whole life. He was attached to wires, beeping monitors, tubing, and my milk would not come in. We had to supplement with formula, we used a SNA to avoid nipple confusion. I felt like a failure, like I let my son down. But, Everything turned out fine, he is a happy thriving 13 week old, in the 80% for weight.
But, the other day when I went back to work, I walked into the room that we stayed in, the room where I prayed so hard for my baby boys health. I had a total anxiety attack, I couldn't catch my breath, and I felt the hot tears building. It was an awful feeling. I felt the whole "losing control" feeling all over again. I am okay now, I think I am a better nurse now because of it. I can relate now to the moms, that bring in their newborn babies. I know the feeling, I know what to say and how to comfort them because I have been there.
I just wanted to share my amazing, yet scary experience. Thanks for reading.
BFP#1 -3/18/12- M/C 3/31/12,
BFP#2 -4/25/12, Beta#1 17dpo= 800, Beta#2 20dpo= 3800, Ethan James born 1-5-13
BFP#3- February 2015- natural miscarriage
BFP#4- June 2015- Ruptured ectopic, severe hemorrhage and loss of left tube on 7/10/2015