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bad reaction ~ shock at my wanting a 2nd child at my age

gaiaelevengaiaeleven member
in Pregnant after 35

I'm turning 40 in August and my due date is October 24, 2013.  I got married the month before I turned 37 and got pregnant a couple months later after TTC. A group of friends/aquaintances were in mere shock / mouths dropped open in silence after I said I would love to have another child.... (My 1st child was about to turn 6 months in Jan 2012 at the time.) If you could have seen their faces! Their collective reaction was the same: very negative. I guess they imagined at my age I was done.... and yet I've always known I wanted 2 children but wasn't ready in my 20's or early 30's... 

I was actually floored by their reaction! In this day and age, it's common: I know a lot of women who choose to wait to TTC until later in life, or cannot conceive until later in life due to fertility issues. (I was frantically urged by Ob/GYNs and surgeons to TTC when in my 20's because I was told I was most likely infertile... but I didn't let that affect me or rush me into motherhood when I wasn't ready. I remained positive that when I was ready I would find a way... and I did - twice).  Has anyone else experienced this form of prejudice? 'Too old to have kids... tsk tsk...'

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Re: bad reaction ~ shock at my wanting a 2nd child at my age

  • gaiaelevengaiaeleven member

    Well - this was my attempt at adding my tickers for the first time.  Apparently I need tech support...

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  • danuli8danuli8 member

    Sounds to me like you need some new friends. I am about to have #1 at what is considered a very advanced age, and many of the people I know have already asked me if I plan on having another one. (To be honest, I think I am just going to stick with the

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    Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
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  • gaiaelevengaiaeleven member
    imagedanuli8:

    Sounds to me like you need some new friends. I am about to have #1 at what is considered a very advanced age, and man

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  • jdveatchjdveatch member
    I'm 46 and we just had our first baby, too!  We will have to decide sooner rather than later if we're having another one due to my age.  My pregnancy was great and our sweet baby is perfect.  Hard decision to make!  Other people don't

     

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  • danieleandwaynedanieleandwayne member
    Women can sometimes be our own worst enemies-- if they're not supportive, that's just not being a good friend. I could understand surprise if they thought you were the type to never have kids by choice or to have only one by choice. But not because of you
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                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

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  • AmyM72AmyM72 member
    We've only had a few people make any negative comments, all of our family and most friends have been extremely happy for us. I know that for us, we were not really ready to have kids much sooner (mid thirties maybe instead of 40). We are both healthy and
    About me:AMA 41 BFP 8/1/12 EDD 4/8/12 Found no Heartbeat 9/5/12 D&C 9/12/12

    BFP 12/13/12 EDD 8/22/13 Lilah Ruby born 8/8/13

    http://lb1f.lilypie.com/zdSMm7.png
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  • gaiaelevengaiaeleven member
    imagejdveatch:
    I'm 46 and we just had our first baby, too!  We will have to decide sooner rather than later if we're having anoth
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  • gaiaelevengaiaeleven member
    imagedanieleandwayne:
    Women can sometimes be our own worst enemies-- if they're not supportive, that's just not being a good friend. I
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  • soaringflutessoaringflutes member

    I'm sorry you have gotten bad reactions.  I've been lucky to have supportive people in my life.  Like you, I wasn't ready to be a mom when I was younger, though I did TTC in my 20's but never got pregnant, luckily.  I'm so much more stab

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  • Margaret LemonMargaret Lemon

    Get some new friends...

    Well, I'm due with our second and will be 42. I have actually never had anyone make any comment about my age. (Maybe they do it behind my back?). But I know lots of people my age having kids.  

    It seems to be mo

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  • jdveatchjdveatch member
    Nice to hear all the supportive comments.  It took 4 IVF procedures to get our baby here and I know he will never doubt that he was wanted and loved!  (We might not have any $$ to send him to college, though.  LOL!)  I just consid

     

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  • technigirltechnigirl

    Not really.  I think maybe it depends on where you live & your circle of friends?  I've always lived in urban/suburban areas and it's pretty common here to see older mothers.  Also,  all of my friends have careers and most waite

    Me - 38 DH - 38 DD - 2 pregnancy
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  • technigirltechnigirl

    imagedanieleandwayne:
    Women can sometimes be our own worst enemies-- if they're not supportive, that's just not being a good friend
    Me - 38 DH - 38 DD - 2 pregnancy
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  • gaiaelevengaiaeleven member
    Thank you, ladies! We 'pregnant after 35' moms or moms-to-be rock! Smile
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  • CastperCastper

    I was a young mom and now I'm AMA for the 2nd time...I had my first 3 before the age of 25 then at 37 had my 4th...I tell you life and parenting as an older mom is AMAZING, it's so very different, you are mature you know more and better so it's just wo

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  • monica92603monica92603 member

    I'll be 39 in September and I think I'm the only one convinced that we're done.  I have several friends and family members asking if we're going to have another.  I've always made it very clear that I had no problem being an "older" mom,

    BFP #1 5/10/06 ...m/mc @11.5w 6/29/06 D&C 6/30/06
    BFP #2 10/29/08 ...stillborn via c/s @41w 7/20/09
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    missing my baby everyday
    BFP #3 1/20/10 My angel's little sister Grace Madison was born September 8th 2010 @37w. We're so blessed! Thank you angel for getting her here safely.
    BFP #4 12/30/11. Jackson Christopher 8/22/2012 via repeat c/s @ 37w 3d
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  • footnotegirlfootnotegirl member

    Hah! On the contrary, all my friends, all my health professionals, even my personal doctor were all "So! When are you having another one? Soon right, yes?" 

    They were all shocked, SHOCKED when the 41 year old said "No, seriously, we're one a

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