TTC at 40 without any intervention

JJ1973 · April 2013

Hi guys,

I am 40 and we are currently TTC #2. I probably waited too long to start trying again, but I had a false sense of security given #1 was conceived the first cycle we tried - and that was when I was 37. We've now been at it for 8 months and during that time, I've had two chemical pregnancies. After the second chemical, I went to see an RE who did the basic work up. AMH and FSH were good, my HSG looked completely normal, and the basic bloodwork he did was also normal. He seems to think the chemicals are just a normal phenomenon, particularly at my age. He also seemed optimistic that we would be able to conceive one more child.

My concern is this: I never really asked about further intervention (he didn't bring it up). When I look on these boards, I see that the majority of people posting (who are at my age) are undergoing various fertility treatments.

Is it weird that I am TTC in the absence of intervention at this age? Should I be asking my RE more questions about this? Just looking for some reassurance that I'm not missing something. I'm just wondering if we should be taking a more aggressive approach.

jbelle · April 2013

You can always go back to your RE and ask about the treatments he'd recommend. You may even be able to call and ask the nurse about it and just find out sans another meeting... not sure.

I'm not sure what he'd recommend; I know he recommended my 40-year-old friend go straight to IVF, but she had no children...

It does seem promising that you've gotten pregnant (isn't that what the docs say? The hard part is getting pregnant?), although I'm sorry they weren't viable.

Best of luck!

ETA: you can also check out the secondary infertility board for others that are in your shoes.

HeathernSteven · April 2013

I think it is a very personal decision.

When I started I had no intentions of using any help. I try to live a very holistic lifestyle, so the idea of using drugs and and Dr to concieve was so "out there" for me. But after a year + of trying I decided to finally buckle down and see what was up, started charting etc etc I learned I was not Ovulating, so I never had a chance, also just learned that my left ovary was attached to my uterus preventing my fallopian tube from moving, so no egg was ever traveling down that path. I would never have learned any of this with out help. My dh SA are ok not amazing not bad, but ok, so for me to O I have to take a drug - ok, my RE feels we should give the little sperm every chance they can so we go with IUI, they wash the sperm to get rid of bad ones and to remove the chemicals that will make your uterus contract and insert the sperm in uterus - no worse then a PAP.

For us IVF is not an option because of $$ and insurance, but a few IUI not so bad. I do not have any children, I wish I had started earlier, if I had a child already I may be less incline to do all this, but I will do everything I can within my means. I have learned so much from all the women on this board that I feel blessed just to be here to share in their journeys - wherever mine ends up.

So I think the answer to your questions, is how bad do you want it, which will indicate how much you will do - and each person has their own journey. I would have recommend charting for everyone to know what yuor body is doing.

wow long winded answer best of luck on your decisions! It will bethe right one for you!

Jacque Sills · April 2013

I don't think it would hurt to schedule another appt., with the doctor and voice your concerns and he what he says. If, you are feeling that you want to be more aggressive in getting pregnant, than yes, I would let your doctor know that, so he can assist you in making that happen sooner, with maybe, a more aggressive medical plan. Of course, that is up to you and your husband and what makes you both feel more comfortable.....

Best of luck.

happywifemomofone · April 2013

We also began TTC at age 40. We tried on our own for one full year before meeting with a RE. It was recommended that we move straight to IVF, but the journey of TTC is different for everyone. Decision about how you proceed is effected by $$ (unfortunately) and how much you really want another child. I think that this is a great group for you right now, there are some of us who are not trying for first children and there's a pretty good mix of those using ART and trying without intervention.

Welcome to the group!!

ProcessofBecoming · April 2013

I am 41 and had my son last year (we conceived him on the first post-D&C cycle after my miscarriage, and it took me three cycles to conceive the baby that I lost). Since I had such an easy time getting pregnant those two times, I naively (perhaps too naively) am hoping that it will be similarly easy this time around. Thus far, after 3 active months of trying, no dice. Admittedly, I am not doing everything I should be doing (charting and temping), but I'm getting on the stick (literally, with OPKs and whatnot) about that now.

Due to the fact that I'm juggling a baby and full-time work while trying to lose weight, I'm not jumping at the bit to start with any medical intervention just yet. But if nothing's up in another 2 months, we're going to talk with my oby/gyn for a referral to an RE. I have coverage for IVF, thank God, but I think I would need to pay for the meds OOP. I need to also check my insurance to see what is covered and what isn't.

In the meantime, I go to acupuncture and am approaching this pretty holistically like I did before. I think you should pursue whatever course you are comfortable with. With this sort of stuff, going with your gut is the best course of action.

mommiella · April 2013

Hi,

I'm closing in on 39, DH is 49, and we are TTC #3 without intervention. We have decided that we will no pursue any infertility treatments and will move forward as a family of 4 if this doesn't happen. We're now on our 3rd cycle, only 2nd of charting and OPKs, and I'm still hopeful. I'm sure I'll be disappointed if the end of the year comes and I'm not pregnant, but it's the decision we made for our family.

Good luck to you!

Lenox1975 · April 2013

It's not weird - it's up to you what feels best. From a technical standpoint, if you don't get PG within 6 months and you're over 35 it's good to begin intervention, should you choose that route. The great news is that you've had success, but the important reality is that 37 is different than 40. Do what feels right to you!

CheezeFace · April 2013

As PPs have said, it is such a personal decision and one that only you and your H can make.

I would express the concerns you stated here with your RE. If you are concerned with time/age you may want to be a bit more aggressive. IUIs are relatively inexpensive and fairly non-invasive (compared to other treatments) and it might be a good place for you to start. Depending on the drugs that you may be given some may help to improve the quality of the egg that is available during a cycle.

JJ1973 · April 2013

Thanks, guys. This stuff is so hard. I feel so fortunate that I did not have to go through this the first time around and I've also tried to make peace with the fact that this might not happen for us, but I'm having a tough time with that. I'm going to talk to my RE to ask those follow up questions. In vitro is out of the question for us for both personal reasons as well as financial, but I can't help but wonder if there are other things we could be doing.

belgirl · April 2013

Keep in mind, that depending on your levels etc, RE's will almost always recommend IVF after 40, only because the quality of eggs is greatly reduced. With that said, my husband and I tried for a bit, tried IUI, got pregnant on our first IUI (sadly we miscarried) did 5 more IUI's with BFN's and now are moving to IVF. My husband's sperm is fantastic, and my levels are above normal for a woman of 42. Your chances of conceiving naturally are just about the same as with IUI (believe it or not), but like everyone has said, there is no one right answer, because everyone's situation is unique. Since you have conceived before and have had 2 chemicals, I don't think it is weird AT ALL, that you are trying to conceive naturally.

Driving280 · May 2013

I am in the same boat. Pg at 34 accidentally (so the one month I forgot my bc pills...), mc at 8 weeks. Pg at 36 at first try, and my lovely son was born 9 months later. Am now 40 and just started TTC my second. Have not had any blood tests done yet but will, and here's to hoping that this will be easy... I would rather not do IVF for expense and other reasons. My dr. said that I should expect a mc or two at this age but if I am conceiving on my own, that's a good sign and that other than IVF, the various reproductive procedures may not really be a lot more helpful than just trying on our own. So that seems to suggest that you are not weird at all...

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