This situation is tearing me up...

brenanigans · April 2013

Ok, I only post on this board once in a while, but here's a quick summation of what's going on....

BM gets child support from dh, for sd. She refuses to work and tries to use sd against dh. SD stays with us too, and we pay for a lot of things for her. We also pay for her insurance. SD is three and loves dh and I. Now, BM has met a guy who joined the military and they want to move and take SD. She keeps saying we can have her in the summer, but that seems crazy for a three year old! She tries to accuse us of things all the time too, and has tried to make dh out to be an unfit parent. She lives with her parents and leaves sd with them most of the time. We are about to close on a house where she will have her own bedroom. Things will be much more stable, and she will be near all her family. She wanted dh to pay for daycare, because she didn't want to leave SD with us when she was doing, whatever it was she was doing??? (she didn't want dh to have more time with her)

It really angers me because it's putting a huge strain on dh and I. feel resentful because we pay a lot of money for insurance and he pays a lot for child support, when we also have SD and provide things for her. Don't get me wrong, I like spending money on SD, but we are now really watching what we spend because of the house and baby, and every time we turn around it's like she wants more money. I try not to pass judgement because we aren't there, but DH is sure BM uses all the CS money on her hair and nails, etc. and to party. I love SD and want her around to be with her sister, I just feel like BM is going to try and run with her. We went to court once because she was keeping SD from DH. The court ordered when she would stay with us and made her let SD come over.

Anyways, the whole situation is really stressful. It hurts my feelings to think of sd moving far away from us, and I can't imagine how dh feels. We are trying to find a lawyer, but BM is sure she is going to leave before we can do anything. ): I feel like it is unfair to SD and DH. DH has done everything he can for SD. I feel like we have provided her w/ more security and financial security, yet she can just pick up and leave? It just doesn't seem fair. Neither one of them has custody, just an arrangement of when they have her. Any advice?

Nineoceans · April 2013

Get an attorney and fight. You may have a good case for keeping her with you and reversing custody. FWIW Dh had to give up custody of SS to go into the military. Whoever is proposing to disrupt the agreement or the child's life has an uphill court battle

Littlejen22 · April 2013

I do not know what you pay for CS but most people pay a lot more than the cost of hair and nails because raising a child is expensive you need to let go of what she spends because there is nothing you can do. And you cannot have a baby and then become mad

brenanigans · April 2013

Littlejen22:
I do not know what you pay for CS but most people pay a lot more than the cost of hair and nails because raising

cole2144 · April 2013

If you can not afford an attorney because money is tight, try legal aid asap. We used them until we could afford an attorney and it saved us a ton in legal fees. Good luck.

brenanigans · April 2013

JNL$LSM:
Find a lawyer and find it NOW. I grow up military family, I am not sure if things have change but don't you have to b

Ilumine · April 2013

JNL$LSM:
Find a lawyer and find it NOW. I grow up military family, I am not sure if things have change but don't you have to b

brenanigans · April 2013

cole2144:
If you can not afford an attorney because money is tight, try legal aid asap. We used them until we could afford an

brenanigans · April 2013

Ilumine:
JNL$LSM:</

cole2144 · April 2013

brenanigans:
cole21

IfMamaAintHappy · April 2013

I know what you mean about the frustration of paying a good chunk of change in CS and still paying out tons of extras. It doesn't sound like you're complaining about spending money on SD when she is with you, but extra money going to BM above and beyond C

brenanigans · April 2013

IfMamaAintHappy:
I know what you mean about the frustration of paying a good chunk of change in CS and still paying out tons o

dmndsr4eva · April 2013

cole2144:
If you can not afford an attorney because money is tight, try legal aid asap. We used them until we could afford an

dmndsr4eva · April 2013

If your H wants to make sure his daughter is not removed from the state you will need to contact a lawyer. If you have court ordered visitation currently she will be in contempt of court if she leaves the state and misses your regular visitation.

dmndsr4eva · April 2013

JNL$LSM:
dmndsr4eva:</

Littlejen22 · April 2013

brenanigans:
Little

bratty44 · April 2013

Wow, legal aid was sounding like a great idea till I looked it up. For our family, in my state, we would have to make less the 15,000 a year, there goes that idea.

dmndsr4eva · April 2013

Littlejen22:
brenaniga

HoolyGo · April 2013

I don't have any advice for your particular situation other than what has already been stated (go to court.)

I just thought that I'd mention that in my county (and several other counties I know around here) they have a family law facilitator that

ambrvan · April 2013

Does you CO say anything about moving? Most people include a clause about moving. Like if a parent is moving over 100 miles away, they must.give.certain amount of time notice served in writing by mail or something or that theu must have other parents' con

HChad · April 2013

When my DH's ExW moved his DD from the state, she needed consent from the court. This was in FL. Consent was not granted and the motion was dismissed.

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This situation is tearing me up...

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