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Working Moms
Nanny needs advice (long, sorry)
I hope it's okay to post this here. I would love the perspective of anyone who employs a nanny. Or anyone else, for that matter.
I am an experienced and loving nanny who just moved from a small town to just outside a city in a new state. I had a position lined up before I moved, but that fell through about a week before I was supposed to start, due to a change in their schedule. Last week I was contacted for an interview by a divorced mother of two elementary school kids. We hit it off really well and the kids are great, so I accepted the position.
Day 1: I pick the kids up at school, they have no homework so we have a snack and play until it is time to take them to their after school activities. I am supposed to wait there until a parent arrives at 6pm. They were 15 mins late, but that's fine.
Day 2: I get a text from their mom 10 mins before I was supposed to leave to go to work that morning telling me not to come in that day.
Day 3: End of my work week. We have an awesome day together, mom texts me 5 mins before 6pm saying she is just leaving work. She is 45 mins late. She then informs me that she will be paying every other week, not weekly as implied (I know this is my fault for not being clear on this). I told her I had not expected that, but it would be okay.
Day 4: Beginning of the day, dad is 45 mins late arriving with the children. We have another great day, but mom was 3 hours late arriving home that evening. I wanted to quit on the spot, but when she got home she started tearing up and talking about how stressed she is. I felt bad and couldn't quit.
Day 5: Kids tell me (because no one else did) about their back-to-back activities that evening. One of which is in the middle of the city. I have never in my entire life driven in a city, and on the few occasions I do go, my fianc? always drives. We got lost, although I did manage to get them there just in time. Parent was 15 mins late picking up.
Yesterday: I arrive to pick the kids up at the same time as the previous babysitter. We both try calling mom for 15 mins until the old sitter finally gets ahold of her. She tells the other sitter to go home, but gives her my hours on Friday. Mom was 20 mins late getting home that evening. They have also never apologized or given any real excuse for their tardiness.
I'm so stressed out. Today I will have to drive into the city again and I honestly don't think I can do it. I know it sounds stupid, but I almost had a panic attack and I just don't feel safe driving there, especially with kids in my car. Their father is supposed to pick them up today (I believe, but I never know for sure), but the kids said that he had mentioned that he wouldn't be picking them up and I would just have to "figure it out." Also, since my hours for tomorrow were given away, today is my last day of the week and I have no idea if I'll even get paid. I so badly want to get my paycheck and quit, even though I really like these kids. Are we just not a good match, or do I need an attitude adjustment? How should I handle this going forward? Any advice is appreciated!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Nanny needs advice (long, sorry)
As you're prepared to quit anyhow, I would try talking to the parents. Tell them that the lateness is an issue (3 HOURS!?!?!?!?!) and the unknown hours every week/ the lack of knowledge of where you're going to have to take the kids is an issue.<
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
If you want to talk to them before quitting or rather than quitting, then I suggest you express your concerns and put in writing that they give you a schedule of activities and pick up and drop off times at the beginning of each week and that you add i
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Not arguing at all that I need to learn to drive in the city, but right now we're about 20 minutes outside the city and only ever go in for sports or a fancy dinner, and he drives. It's not like I make him drive me everywhere.
I need
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
The more I read.... I think you're probably going to have to quit. These parents seem like horrible communicators. You're right - 40 mins is NOT close by!
If you do talk to them, you have to let us know their reaction/ what they
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This is just bad on so many levels. We employ a nanny, and while yes, she "works" for us, it doesn't mean she doesn't have a life and other responsibilities, and as such, I try to be respectful of her time. If we can't get home on time, I give her as m
If they're this disorganized and taking advantage of you this much (with the late notice not to show up, giving away your hours, and especially the late pickup) in the first week, I think you should high-tail it out of there. I'd probably try to
That's the thing, they've never even given notice when they were going to be late. On Monday night when she was 3 hours late, I finally called her when she was 30 minutes late. She said she was still at work at would be leaving within the half hour to
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This is completely outrageous! We've never employed nannies, but we've hired babysitters and I used to babysit on a very regular basis myself. If I were in your shoes, I'd start looking for a new position ASAP. Then, I would sit down
Sounds like it's time to look for a new job. There needs to be a mutual respect between a nanny and her employer and this family isn't treating you like a professional. Their lack of scheduling and total disorganization isn't going to work
We employ a nanny, and I would NEVER leave her to "figure things out"! Honestly, for her sake, but also for my kid's sake, that they weren't left anywhere, didn't have activities that were forgotten, etc. I would have a "come to Jesus" talk
I was a nanny, my advice is to sit down with the parents and write up a work agreement. if they refuse to then find a new job. I would NEVER take a job without everything in writing. I made that mistake with my first nanny job and it was a bad idea. </
This is just bad on so many levels. We employ a nanny, and while yes, she "works" for us, it doesn't mean she doesn't have a life and other responsibilities, and as such, I try to be respectful of her time. If we can't get home on time, I give her as m
Take your paycheck and run!
I am very disorganized as a character flaw and am constantly running late, but even I think that is ridiculous. People that clueless will NOT get it together because of a little sit down chat or a nanny contract.
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Ugh yea you may just need to quit over the phone tomorrow.