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Dads & Dads-to-be
Need a man's opinion (sex-related)
Sorry to invade your board, but I desperately need some male insight in regard to a situation. My husband of three years and I have had virtually no sex-life since our son was born. Our son is now 11 months old and we probably have maybe 5 times since he was born. The lack of desire is 100% on him and I would prefer that we be intimate at least 2x a week. This all started when I found out that I was pregnant (we had a great sex life before and he was the first to say this). I expected things to change after the birth, but no 
We have had a lot going on in our lives (he was out of work for 8 months just before getting pregnant, he is now working at a new stressful job 70+ hours a week, etc.), but I would think there would be some desire to be intimate with your partner. He is never interested and almost seems annoyed when I suggest it. He is always too stressed, tired, not feeling well, etc. I have also not "let myself go" at all since giving birth and have lost all baby weight plus 15 lbs (currently weigh 115). I am hypervigilant on always looking good because of this situation (i.e. don't just wear mom jeans or yoga pants LOL).
I just don't get the sense anything is going to change. When he was working less, there was still no sex. I try to talk to him about it, and he gets angry that I am bringing it up. We have had many fights about the situation and actually two counseling sessions, but nothing has changed. I know there isn't a physical problem as I have walked in on him watching porn 2x during the last 1.5 years. I just feel so saddened by the situation. I don't want my son to grow up in a broken home, but I don't know how I can be in a sexless marriage for the next 50 years (I'm 30 and he is 40).
Anyone have any insight into this situation? Can you really be so stressed/tired that you have zero desire to be with your partner. I honestly feel now he sees me as just a mother and now has no desire to be sexual with me.
(Just as an FYI, I've done a lot of work confirming whether he could be having an affair and I can't find any info to indicate he is)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need a man's opinion (sex-related)
Maybe he is having difficulty separating the two sides of your life you now live... caring mother on one hand and the other, a sexual being with desires and needs. This isn't to say it will always remain this way.
I will say, working 70+ hours a
About the being 40 thing. I am in my 40's and my sex drive is almost identical to what it was when I was a teen. I may not have the physical stamina, but I always want to jump on my wife as if we are two 20 somethings shacking up. I may not
Depression and stress can both kill a dude's sex drive, sadly.
I guess I'll just give the advice I'd give a guy whose wife rarely wanted sex: be nice to him, try to seduce him in subtle ways, and don't pressure him. Do what you can to relieve his
I would think it is stress a bit. I felt that a bit when my wife first found out she was pregnant, I was doing all the housework before and working full time so when I found out she was pregnant I had a "Oh holy hell moment".
It kind killed