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Need a guy's imput

ckwats33ckwats33 member
in Dads & Dads-to-be

I was recently talking with my husband and he said he is worried that he will become a third wheel once baby is born.  I know that having a baby is always a stress on a relationship so I knew it was coming in a way.  However he brought up the fact that neither of us really know what dads do with a newborn (his dad left when he was a baby and mine thought that since my mom wanted kids that it was all on her).  I will be breastfeeding and he wants me to pump regularly so that he can bottle feed whenever he feels like it, whereas I was planning to pump only when it is necessary. He feels like he is just going to be left out of the whole thing.  I guess my point is this...

Do you have any suggestions on ways H can spend time with DS so that he feels he is a part of things?

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Re: Need a guy's imput

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    ColtsdadColtsdad member

    Maybe pump one or two times a day, so he can feed?

    Other things he can do... baths, diaper changes, hold him, talk to him, change his clothes.  Holding him and talking to him are big, helps the baby bond with him.

    Realistically, th

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    JacksDadJacksDad
    Breast feeding didn't work for my wife, and neither of us work. So I take night shifts, she takes him during the day. I certainly don't feel like a 3rd wheel. This also alleviated her fear of me trying to take over everything since we each have our own sh
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    hay1122hay1122 member
    Just another lurking mom here, but thought I could give my 2 cents worth.  The newborn period and up to 4-5 months was primarily on me since I breastfed, and stayed home with DD.  It took DH a while to feel a connection to DD, but we did start a
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    ladyjenna13ladyjenna13 member

    First, skin to skin is critical in terms of your baby bonding with both of you. We don't have the boobs, so what I did was spend 15 minutes a day, or twice a day, holding my son skin to skin.  Although we don't so that anymore, it certainly helped

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    CalMum_MommaCalMum_Momma

    Not a dad, but here's my 2 cents. Let him give bottles! I started pumping a couple weeks in with DS. Around 3 or 4 weeks DH started giving him one bottle at night before bedtime. It became their nightly routine, and DH got a great deal of the bonding t

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    ladyjenna13ladyjenna13 member
    imageCalMum_Momma:

    Not a dad, but here's my 2 cents. Let him give bottles! I started pumping a couple weeks in with DS. Around 3

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    rmtafoyarmtafoya member

    i think the biggest part of his insecurity isnt what he'll do with the baby, its about his relationship with you. because women fall so deeply in love with their newborns, and theyare the number 1 priority it can worry men that they will become less im

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    ladyjenna13ladyjenna13 member

    Take an example from the father's here on this site.  We don't sit around and wait to get invited into the frey....we dive head first into the frey on our own.

    If he is an active father, bonding will not be a concern.  Active father's

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    PunkyBoosterPunkyBooster member

    He can do tons of things- rock the baby, bathe him, take him for walks, wear him- DH was great about wrapping DS up in the moby and hanging out with him :)

    Pumping plans- well, try to go into this with an open mind. Pumping doesn't come easily to

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