i think i'm antisocial

i always get anxious and end up in a bad mood the day of a holiday. if we're with my family i feel like i have to be looking my best and on my best behavior. my fam can be a bit judgy, and i feel like i have to make sure i dont say anything inappropriate or to offend anyone. i also feel like i have to watch DH's mouth too. i mean, i dont want to make them sound horrible, but based on past experiences i just dont want to get on anyones bad side. we're not big on talking our feelings out, so if there is an issue, discussing/apologizing is always super awkward or we just ignore it. when we're with DH's family i feel like i have to be so fake lol. not that i dont like them, theyre great. but MIL gets on my nerves - she can be very self-centered and obnoxious and sometimes i want to tell her to shut up. also i have had issues with SIL in the past and i always feel awkward around her. not to mention she recently lost a ton of weight and had plastic surgery, so she wears tight clothes and is always dressed to the nines, so i feel like i have to compete. silly, i know. but i just dont want to look like crap. 

all of this just makes me end of being in a bad mood all morning before the get together even happens. and 99% of the time it's a good time and nothing happens at all other than maybe a few annoyances or comments that bug me throughout the day.

so yeah, i'm beginning to feel like i'm either a huge B or i'm just antisocial and feel much more comfortable at my own house with my own little family. no stress. is it just me? anyone else get anxious seeing family at the holidays?

ok probably a P&R for now, off to find something to wear that doesn't make me look like they left a baby in there.