I need some advice...long

I need some advice...long

Our first LO is 3 weeks old, everything is going well but BFing at night has been a little challenging because of the lack of sleep and feeling completely alone. I started pumping so that I can go to sleep early after her 9:00 or 10:00 feed and DH can feed her the next time so I can get a few consecutive hours. This worked for a few nights, until last night. I woke up to use the bathroom and found her screaming (she hardly ever cries...ever) in her rock n play literally 3 feet away from where DH was sound asleep. She was bright red, coughing and gagging from being so upset. I'm not one to pick her up everytime she makes a peep but it absolutely broke my heart to see her like that. I have no idea how long she had been so upset for, it was about an hour after she has been getting up for her first feed of the night, I'm just hoping it wasn't that long after I scooped her up, it took me a while to wake DH up, shaking him and yelling his name, finally he popped awake and looked around wondering why I was waking him up, completely clueless to what had happened. I told him she had been laying there screaming for god knows how long and he didn't even notice. I then took her in the room with me for the rest of the night because I knew I was too upset to talk to him about it. She was up the rest of the night, and seemed very stressed out...clenched fists near her face, grunting non-stop and I just couldn't get her to settle no matter what I did. When I took her with me to get a drink, screaming, DH offered to take her. I said no, not after last night. He looked at me completely confused and had no recollection of what had happened, so I had to explain the whole thing to him. 

I feel like I can't leave her alone with him out of fear that this will happen again. He's snored terribly and had sleep issues since our first year of marriage, causing us to sleep in separate bedrooms for the last 4 years, which is very frustrating because he refuses to get this checked out. These issues have always put a strain on our marriage (seriously, a husband and wife that don't even sleep in the same bed...) but now I feel like its not safe for our daughter, even during the day because his lack of quality sleep at night causes him to fall into deep-sleep naps at any time, not just at night. I've often worried about him falling asleep behind the wheel, and now he's going to be driving her around...but again, refuses to get a sleep study done. 

I feel like this is putting even more strain on our relationship, compounded by the fact that I now don't feel comfortable leaving her alone with him especially at night, which means LO and I will continue our marathon nights of feeding with little to no sleep.  

 Maybe I'm letting the lack of sleep get to me too much, but I have no idea what to do. I've tried talking to him about this so many times before that even just mentioning it causes a fight and no matter what I've tried, he still denies anything is wrong (even though myself, his mother and his sister have all witnessed these problems), and refuses to get checked by a specialist. Any advice, insight or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.