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Just plain defeated!

Nowuseeme324Nowuseeme324
in 2nd Trimester

Long MIL story short....2 years and 100's of issues, Im in a no win situation with people that think I am less than dirt and have not only talked about me behind my back to my husband but have tried to bad mouth me to my own child. I am no angel but at this point I know it is not me.

I have sat down face to face and talked to them (in-laws)

I have sought professional help from counselors and pastors.  

I have approached every situation differently to reach a better outcome.

Finally I have taken myself out of the equation Entirely!

After no communication for over 3 months now..I am steal fighting them from a distance. Not because I want to, but because I cannot get away from it. They act like this new LO is some kind of leverage to hold over my head. I wont have it. They tell my husband I am not fit to be a mother! I hold a full-time job, I raised a 5 year old daughter ALONE with no help from her father before I got married, and I am a damn good house wife.

I just feel so defeated and broken and this is the feeling I have been trying to make sure I didnt feel. I just honestly dont know what else I can do and I am really starting to worry about what things are going to be like when DS arrives in 77 days!! I really feel like running away. 

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Re: Just plain defeated!

  • JBear02JBear02 member
    I am so sorry to hear that these people, who should be loving and supportive, are treating you this way. I don't know what advice I could offer that would help- Try to stay strong! It sounds like you're a strong, independent person, and good for you! I kn

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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member

    I'm so sorry. My MIL is an nightmare too. The badmouthing of you to your kid is so messed up and I admit that its a worry of mine too. Why does your husband allow it?! I would be beyond pissed that he doesn't say something to his mom on your behalf. WT


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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    What did you husband do when they said that about you ?
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  • Nowuseeme324Nowuseeme324

    DH and I have battled with this for over a year. He was very reluctant to see it at first and I dont blame him for that..they are after all HIS family...But at the same time it is very hard for him to see what I do being from the outside.

    The way

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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    What did he do when they told him you are an unfit mother ?

    What did he do when they bad mouthed you to your own child ?

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  • santoriello21santoriello21 member
    We have a rule in our house. If youre going to be rude to mom or dad you don't see the kids. They shape up really fast. Your mil found extra rude though i'm sorry you have to go through that.
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  • Nowuseeme324Nowuseeme324
    imagestw_77:

    What did he do when they told him you are an unfit mother ?

    What did he do when they bad mouthed you to your own

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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member

    Well it seems that talking to them isn't working and he needs to step it up.  Now you need action.  He needs to tell them that they are not to say anything bad about you.  If they do, he will hang up / leave.  Then stick to his prom

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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    imagestw_77:

    Well it seems that talking to them isn't working and he needs to step it up.  Now you need action.  He needs


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  • CaliforniaDream87CaliforniaDream87 member
    This isn't a MIL problem. This is a HUSBAND problem.

    I'm sorry but your husband needs to put a stop to this, period. I don't care what your MIL thinks of you, you are his wife and he needs to defend you.

    I wouldn't stand for this
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  • Nowuseeme324Nowuseeme324

    imageCaliforniaDream87:
    This isn't a MIL problem. This is a HUSBAND problem. I'm sorry but your husband needs to put a stop to t
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  • CaliforniaDream87CaliforniaDream87 member
    imageNowuseeme324:

    imageCaliforni
        DS born 8-16-2013
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  • AmeliaKrisAmeliaKris member
    I was a child in a very similar situation. It was awful and by the time I was 15, my parents divorced because of it. It started with my grandma bad mouthing my mom. It eventually evolved into them bad mouthing us. The final straw was when I caught my gran
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  • NeonEyeliner77NeonEyeliner77 member
    imagePrimRoseMama:
    imagestw_77:</str
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  • PubliusPublius member
    Someone who badmouths a parent to their child has no business having contact with that child.
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  • amandarinsamandarins member
    It seems like you've done everything you could to turn things around. Your husband however, sounds like he just wants to play Switzerland...which is unacceptable since you are his wife. As hard as it may be, he needs to tell his family to accept all of yo
     

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  • MJHersheyMJHershey member
    Where on earth is your DH on this? Is he defending you at all? Is he telling them to quit? If he is not doing anything... You have a SERIOUs DH problem.

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