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Parenting after a Loss
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Can anyone relate?

missmama30missmama30
in Parenting after a Loss
I am currently almost 20 weeks pregnant. Our first was a girl we lost at 24 weeks our 2nd is a sweet boy who's almost 2. We found out yesterday that this, our last baby, is also a boy. A healthy boy thank God! I was surprised at the grief I feel over never getting to be a mom to a girl on earth. I feel like I am grieving the loss of my daughter all over again it's awful! I am so grateful for even the chance to have a baby again I love this little boy fiercely. I am just broken again over the loss of my daughter. And I feel guilty for even feeling this way. Has anyone else gone thru this where they will not get to be a parent to a baby of the same sex that they lost? And if so do you have any suggestions or advice on how to get thru it? I just want to focus on loving this new little boy inside me. Tia
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Re: Can anyone relate?

  • JulyMomma2U2JulyMomma2U2 member
    I'm so sorry :(  I can't relate, as my first loss was a boy, and my second loss was too early for me to know.. but, I just wanted to offer up tons of hugs.  I'm sure someone will come along soon that will have some more insight for you!  Ha
    Loss #1: 18w5d.. D&E 04Mar03 BFP #2: Jun2011.. missed miscarriage. D&C 08Jul2011 8w4d. BFP #3: Nov2011.. Our Rainbow Baby!!! DS Born: 15Jul2012! BFP #4: Nov2012.. 2U1 - DS2 born 12Jul2013.  BFP #5: 01Jan2014..3U3!!

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  • missmama30missmama30
    Thank you : I HATE that I feel this way. I know I didn't fully grieve losing my girl it feels like its coming back around again because of this. I have talked to another mom who's going thru the same thing but she's still pregnant as well so we aren't a
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  • bmv1980bmv1980 member
    I haven't had the same experience...but I can understand your feelings. [[[[big hugs]]]] I'm sorry for your previous loss...but congrats on this baby:]
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  • jertiejertie member

    Yes - I can completely relate.  Our first child, Ace, was a boy and when I found out we were having a girl I was horribly distraught.  I felt so guilty for having those feelings - here I should be rejoicing over my little girl, but

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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    I can relate. We have a 3 yo DD, then we lost our son, our rainbow is a little girl. We were team green so didn't know what she was going to be but honestly I can say I was kind of expecting a boy. I don't know if that's because of Nathaniel, but I almost
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  • missmama30missmama30
    Thank you ladiesyour comments have helped me. I'm trying to embrace this little fella I'm feeling better about it. I was shopping for my sons bday gear yesterday those cute dresses or "pretty like mommy" onesies were a stab in the heart. I'm now wonderi
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