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new strategy to deal with SS2's lies

lily_721lily_721 member
in Blended Families

SS2 lies continuously.  He has been grounded, lost his phone, lost tv/playstation privileges, etc.  Endless conversations from DH and me about his behavior and our disappointment.  Nothing works.

After giving him the opportunity to tell the truth and explaining the consequences of continuous lying, we have a new strategy.  He has to do 25 pushups for every lie and it goes up for additional lies.  We are now at 30 pushups tonight.  He cried and whined about the last set but I reminded him that he chose to lie and therefore he chose to do the pushups.

I have no idea why this is occurring or why he thinks lying is going to be a better option.  When he tells the truth, even if its bad news, we praise him.  If he lies, and then tells the truth, we praise him.  We tell him that we are proud of his decision to be honest.  Now he lies, and then lies, and then lies again.  We give him an out every single time and still he lies. 

I don't know if the pushups are going to help but they make me feel better.  Any suggestions would be greatly welcome.

PS.  SS2 is almost 17 y/o.

 

together since 2006
full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
married since 2011

TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
Bloodwork: normal
2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
New RE appt 8/14/12
IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
Beta #1 BFP! 97
Beta #2 234
Beta #3 4937
ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
10/20/12 graduated!!!
EDD 6/7/12
Team PINK!!

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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Re: new strategy to deal with SS2's lies

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    Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    You say you give him an opportunity to tell the truth but
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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    Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    You say you give him an opportunity to tell the truth but are you also giving him a chance to lie? I do not know the details but if you know the truth then so not ask and just state what you know. You can tell him you know XYZ and this is the consequence
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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    lookame3639lookame3639 member
    I feel like when you give a teen an option to telk you the truth or face a consequence then you are treating them like a 6 year old. You are trying to manipulate him into telling the truth and when he does he gets praise. This works for a 6 year old who r
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    dannie2011dannie2011 member
    This strategy is not going to work. He's not six stop treating him like he is. You are essentially teaching him to lie. You do no ask a question when you already know the answer, you are setting him up and that is not fair to him. All this will do is&nbsp

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    lily_721lily_721 member
    Thanks ladies. I will try your approach. Im so frustrated and willing to do try anything.
    together since 2006
    full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
    married since 2011

    TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
    HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
    S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
    Bloodwork: normal
    2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
    Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
    New RE appt 8/14/12
    IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
    Beta #1 BFP! 97
    Beta #2 234
    Beta #3 4937
    ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
    10/20/12 graduated!!!
    EDD 6/7/12
    Team PINK!!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
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    TasheystarTasheystar
    I read a book where the author mentions what you're doing. Truth traps, are what she called them. Knowing the answer, and asking to see if the person is going to lie. When you let on that you actually know the truth, the person feels attacked. It doesn't
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