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One & Done: Only child
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Hi. I'm lurking but still undecided

mandelbreadmandelbread member
in One & Done: Only child

Hi

::waves shyly:: 

I'm a former very active Nestie/Bumpie back from deactivation. Forgive the rambling, but I need to organize my thoughts around ppl who get it - KWIM?

DH and I have a kick-a$$ 2 y.o. and are still undecided if we want more. I had really bad PPD/PPA for a while and have a lot of bad memories and guilt associated with the first 5+ months. 

I honestly thought that I'd reach the place of "WAAAANT MOAR BABEHS!!!!" at some point, but it's been 2 years (2 years and 4 months, to be exact) and I'm still in the "nope" stage. 

I did reach a place where I was like "Well...okay...I guess? Maybe? It's what we're supposed to do, right?" so we planned to TTC#2 this summer. Then I looked at the reality of the $$, and 2 in daycare would be really really hard...if not impossible. 

We are in the place where life is pretty great right now, and we're unsure if we want another. Part of it is that we like the idea of DS having a sibling, but do we want that only b/c we feel like we'd be depriving him of something without it? Do we only want another b/c we feel like we're supposed to want/have more? With one, only, we are okay financially. We have "me" time, still. And can focus on DS. But are we depriving him of siblings? And I feel selfish for wanting to focus on finances (for vacations, shopping, etc) instead of having another.

But I'm worried I'd regret it in like 5 years. 

UGH. Can you see why we're torn? 

 

So...my question for ya'll is...did you go through this conflict? Did it resolve itself? How did you know you were OAD?

cupcakes for reading. 

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Re: Hi. I'm lurking but still undecided

  • grrl79grrl79 member

    Mmmm...cupcakes...

    You are me to a T.  My situation is this...financially, we'd fall apart with another baby.  We currently are "stuck" in our 2 bedroom condo, another child in here would be insane.  I'm 33 now, say in 5 years we

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  • mandelbreadmandelbread member
    imageBostonKisses2:

    I can definitely see why you're torn.  If you do decide to be O&D, just know that you aren't depriving

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  • mandelbreadmandelbread member
    imagegrrl79:

    Mmmm...cupcakes...

    You are me to a T.  My situation is this...financially, we'd fall apart with another b

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  • mandelbreadmandelbread member
    Had to be true to my new name, ya know!
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  • salt78salt78 member

    I think it's more selfish to bring a new baby into the world that you aren't sure you can afford. One thing I love about having one is that I can afford to take her places, let her try out a variety of sports/activities if she so wishes, pay for her we

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  • ferris0906ferris0906 member
    imagesalt78:

    I think it's more selfish to bring a new baby into the world that you aren't sure you can afford. One thing I love

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  • MsLsMsLs member

    Hi!

    You've expressed what I feel as well,  my son is younger only 9 mos, and I didn't have PPD but a terrible delivery and I wasn't very fond of pregnancy so there's that. But I hear ya. I think PP said it best there isn't a right or wrong a

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