- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
ninster500
member
Venting
ninster500
member
I'm new to the bump, and I don't know about all the abbreviations so sorry in advance!
I'm getting seriously fed up with my fiances baby mama and the way him and her and there child treat me! I moved from Washington state to Virginia with my fiance about a year and a half ago, at the time his son was turning two.
I knew when we moved here that I would be a part of his sons life, therefore changing mine entirely and that I would have to deal with his baby mama as well. I knew that his BM was a psycho but it's only gotten worse since she found out about me. When we first moved here she was in full on "get my husband back" mode, even though she was living with her boyfriend of two years. (they weren't divorced yet BTW) A month after we moved to VA we had a party for ss (stepsons?) 2nd birthday, she brought her boyfriend and I also attended. My fiances parents and I were there and there were like, 20 people from her side of the family. They were all incredibly rude to me, and that's just the beginning.
Since i've met this b**** she has flipped out over me discipling her son, threatened to take custody from my fiance three or four times, been as fake as she possibly could with me, and expressed several times how she doesn't approve of me taking care of her son why'll her (now ex) boyfriend taught him the "N" word! Most recently she got a wild hair up her and accused my fiance and I of beating him!
She's constantly interfering with our relationship as well. We fight more about her than anything else! She's constantly reminding me that she's his wife (yes, we've been together for over two years and they're still not divorced.) About a month ago she asked us to take SS for a little why'll so she could save up some money to finalize there divorce. We all know that she finnally wants the divorce done so she can move with her navy boyfriend to God knows where. I respect her decision to make her own decisions in life, and look out for her son. But we moved here so he could be near his son. (some back story: they separated almost three years ago when they lived in washington state together, and she moved herself and SS back to virginia. Then when we moved 2 hours away for fiances job she accused him of constantly uprooting his life for his career) And now that he missed the first two and half years of his sons life she wants to move him back to the west coast. I know i'm venting about his problems right now, but I honestly love that kid to death, and his fathers happiness is very very important to me.
So we've had SS for almost two months now, Just a week or so after the accusations of abuse blew over. I kept asking my fiance if we were going to have SS for easter, he kept saying probably not, and refused to ask her. So we find out a couple days ago that we are having him for easter, we haven't made any plans, so I have to plan the easter egg hunt, a trip to see the bunny, and get whatever S to put in the damn basket, and we have to celebrate early because my fiance works all weekend. He's just acting like it's no big deal, but I don't see him trying to theme an easter basket with the slim pickings left at wal-mart the weekend before easter!
And besides all the small stuff his son doesn't respect me. I've been taking care of SS for almost two years. I've spent my last dollars on pull ups, i've gone broke making sure there were snacks for him in the house. I got him to poop in the toilet when I had just met him and no one else could! I have sacrificed for him! His mother is a terrible mother! SS practically grew up with his grand parents and aunt because after there separation she liked to pretend she didn't have a toddler and would disappear for a month at a time, or stay out drinking all night why'll SS had a 102 degree fever and she would refuse to take him to the hospital.
I realized that I had a maternal instinct when I was 15, so obviously I tried to make up for the short comings of his mother, without trying to replace her. I've done the very best that I can and no one respects the role i've played in his life! I've come to the conclusion that someones telling him that i'm not his parent (as far as i'm concerned future step mom is just as good, especially considering everything i've done) he acts like he doesn't have to listen to me! He tells me all the time that Papa lets him do whatever he wants. That mommy puts more sugar in his oatmeal. That he eats hot dogs for auntie all the time!
My fiance likes to think that the attitude his son has towards him is the same as the one he has towards me, but he doesn't have to discipline him all the time!
I broke down today and told him that I couldn't take it anymore. That i'm exhausted and I need him to help me or talk to his son. All he did was yell at me and tell me that he's tired from working 12 hour days, blah blah blah! I'm home with his son ALL day EVERY day and I get no respect from either of them! It's exhausting enough being STAHM but even worse when you get told all the time that your not good enough.
I just wish that he would be a little more understanding! He's always telling me to make up with SS and it's just not as easy as it sounds! He doesn't get it and he refuses to listen!
Then his baby mama calls and has an attitude with me because I moved bed time at our house from 9 o clock to 8 o clock, so I can have a little more "quiet time" and I know my fiances judging me because since we replaced nap time I've enforced a daily 30 minutes of quiet time where nap time used to be and I still can't handle him!
I don't know what to do! I feel like i'll be a terrible mother when I get my own children! I feel like SS hates me. Fiance doesn't understand. There's no one to turn to. No one understands and I feel like i'm failing him. I say things I regret all the time, and frequently tell my fiance that I give up and can't do it anymore.
I'd also like to point out that I haven't given up and his mother drops SS with his grandparents for a week at a time, because she does.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Venting
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
*** siggy warning- losses mentioned- everyone welcome *****
Me: 36
DH: 42 (w/ 2 children from prior marriage)
Us: TTC for our 1st together since August 2013
1st BFP: November 2013 (m/c at 7 wks)
2nd BFP: February 2014 (m/c at 6 wks)
RPL Panel started in March 2014
3rd BFP: May 2014 (m/c at 5 wks)
4th BFP: June 2014 (CP at 4 wks)
RE appt in June 2014 (all RPL panel tests are normal...it's likely egg quality due to my age and borderline DOR)
Baseline AFC: 8 follies
2 IUI cycles (July and August 2014- both BFN)
IVF #1 w/ ICSI & PGS- October 2014 (AFC: 8 follies; ER Oct 20: 5R/3M/2F; the 2 only made it to day 3 and stopped growing before biopsy)
key supplements: DHEA (25mg- 3x/day); CoQ10 (300 mg/day) ISWTE believer here!
IVF #2 EPP w/ ICSI & PGS- AFC: 13 follies! 10R/6M/6F- 5 biopsied for PGS- 1 normal embryo
FET scheduled for February 2015 delayed in order to do one more ER in hopes of getting at least 1 more normal embryo
IVF #3 EPP w/ ICSI & PGS: 7R/5M/5F- 2 biopsied for PGS- 1 normal embryo
FET #1 April 23, 2015: 1 PGS tested embryo transferred - BFN
FET #2 June 30, 2015: 1 PGS tested embryo transferred- BFP!!
I only skimmed your post after you wrote " I knew BM was a psycho".
What in the world made you think that would change?
So you aren't married, have no children together, and he treats you poorly? Why are you still in the relationship?
Seriously. The man is showing you how he behaves. He's showing you what kind of partner he is. He's s
Why have they stayed married for so long?! I did live with my DH before I filed for divorce but it took a few months not years.
Im sorry you are being treated this way by everyone in your situation. I agree with finding a job even part time to "g
Leave....Aside from the fact that you are living with a married man, he's treating you like crap. Look at what he gets - a FREE babysitter, someone to cook, clean and care for him as well - plus all the smoochies. And what do you get? Isolation - you'v
The toddler isn't being disrespectful... that implies intent that they just aren't capable of at this stage of their little lives. At this kid's age my kids were wanting to go live with grandma because she let them have m & m's for dinner and I was
I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded to this post. I have had a talk with my FDH and he's seeing now how his son talks differently to me. I was really angry when I wrote this post, and honestly, he is a good man and he's try