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September 2013 Moms
I need MIL help! (kind of long, but needed)
I kind of have a different MIL situation. My husband's mom left him and his sister when he was 3 years old and wasn't a part of his life until she had to take custody of him when he was 16. While we were in college, she came and apologized to him for how she left him and the fact that she was never there for him and made a lot of bad decisions. He forgave her and they started to have a better relationship.
During our wedding, his sister and mother got into a big fight, which had nothing to do with us. That was almost two years ago and since then she has had nothing to do with her grandchild, who was 5 months old at the time. She completely dropped out of her grandchild's life.
After the wedding, my husband would try to call his mom and she would act very distant and hand the phone off to someone else. He called her for Thanksgiving and Christmas and she was rude and acted like she couldn't care less that he was calling. After that, he stopped making the effort to call. She never tried calling him and for the first time in his life, even when she had nothing to do with him as a child, he didn't get a phone call or card for his birthday. Fast forward to over a year and we send her something in the mail to let her know we are pregnant.
Now she is calling my husband and acting like nothing ever happened. She acts like she wants to be a part of his life now and wants to talk to me. My husband's feelings weren't hurt because he expects very little out of his mother. He said he'd like it if I talked to her.
My question is, should I talk to her? It has really hurt my feelings the way she treated my husband and the fact that she could do that to her own son. I also don't want to accept her back into our lives and have my child know her as grandma and then she suddenly disappears for no reason, like she did her other grandchild. She is completely unreliable, even after leaving her son at the age of 3 and him forgiving her. What should I do?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need MIL help! (kind of long, but needed)
I think you need to follow your husband's lead on this. If he really wants you to talk with her, I would. I would personally plan to be civil, but keep her at arm's length. I would answer any questions somewhat vaguely, not give her m
I'm all about forgiveness. Life is too short to hold grudges.
Thank you both. My husband definitely knows how I feel but if he can try to move on, then I guess I should too.
Another question though is, if and when I do talk to her, should I tell her how I feel about the situation and be honest with he
Wow this is an all around crappy situation and I'm sorry you and your DH are having to deal with this. I wouldn't totally cut her out of your life and your child's life, but I would be VERY cautious with her around my child. I would keep the contact li
Well I am experienced with this. My hubby's mom left them when was 2 or 3. She actually left them at daycare and did not come back. She lost custody and rarely aw them as kis. She gave up custody to her older son, and my hubby and his sister came after
I have a similar situation as your DH, but with my mother and our strained relationship. I don't expect much either, truthfully it's a defensive mechanism I've developed to stop being hurt by her. However, it's my issue with my mother, so I lead the wa
BFP #1 4/29/12 m/c 5/18/12 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/28/12 EDD 5/10/13 MC 9/22/12 at 6w4d
BFP #3 12/31/12 EDD 9/12/13
Me Dx: DOR DH: all tests normal
Our Pretty Little Nest Blog
I have a MIL who has a few issues. She wasn't the best with my DH but he has gotten over it. I find it hard to forgive her for disowning him when we started dating... and for repeatedly choosing livestock over her son... but she's trying now and that's
We have a similar situation. I'd follow his lead on whether or not he wants a relationship with her and how he wants to proceed--it's his mom, his relationship, his decision.
I would, however, absolutely put my foot down when it comes to th