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Shower - couple questions

amongthestarzamongthestarz member
in Baby Showers

As you give advice, keep in mind that yes, I'm looking for your truthful answers, but no, I don't need you to call me stupid in the process.

I'm a FTM, and my mom is planning my shower in my hometown.  I live 10 hours away.  Mom (and family who will be invited) do not have a lot of disposable income. Ultimately, DH and I can handle buying gear and supplies for the baby on our own and don't need a shower. 

However, I haven't seen my extended family in quite a while and want to see everyone while I'm at home.  I'll only be there for 2 days, so I wouldn't be able to go around and visit everyone.  The only way to get everyone to visit me would be to tell them that we're giving them free food and drinks at a party (that sounds harsh but true, and I've come to terms with it. it's fine.). 

So the questions are...
1. Should I request no gifts since we really don't need the help?  I'm worried that I haven't seen some of the people since my bridal shower --- where they gave me a gift. I don't want them to think that they will only see me when I want them to buy me something.
2. I handle all of my mom's finances and I know it will mess up her budget to put money toward a party, so should I contribute to it?  Or offer to supply the favors?  

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Re: Shower - couple questions

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    EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    If you don't want gifts, DON'T call it a shower.  Just have a party.  Dont' mention the baby, don't call it a shower.  If your mom wants to say "among is home for the weekend so we're having a get together" - go for it.

    And if tha

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    1026pumpkin1026pumpkin member

    1. Don't make any mention of gifts, since it implies you're expecting one.  If anyone asks, you can tell them you really don't need anything and are just looking forward to visiting with them.

    2. Propose having the shower during an off-meal

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    FemShepFemShep member

    Mentioning gifts in any way, even to say no gifts, is frowned upon.  You'll also have people who will get you a gift anyway and make those who didn't feel awkward.  A better solution would be to have many small items on your registry.  S

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    526SadieSadie526SadieSadie member
    imageEastCoastBride:

    If you don't want gifts, DON'T call it a shower.  Just have a party.  Dont' mention the baby, don

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    CranangCranang member
    imageEstwd2:

    1. You can do several things here about gifts. You can just not register, don't have your mom include your registry

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    Stina2012Stina2012 member
    imageEastCoastBride:

    If you don't want gifts, DON'T call it a shower.  Just have a party.  Dont' mention the baby, don't

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    amongthestarzamongthestarz member

    Great advice, ladies.  Thank you. Was thinking through many of the options that you brought up, but ultimately just wanted to see what your suggestions would be.  I think that no mention of gifts, and my mom phoning the family instead of

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    HappyMrsKHappyMrsK member
    imageEastCoastBride:

    If you don't want gifts, DON'T call it a shower.  Just have a party.  Dont' mention the baby, don't

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