Dealing with failed breastfeeding

kellyrn9956 · March 2013

LO and I have had a difficult week and a half. I have inverted nipples on both sides. LO strongly tongue thrusts. I started BF'ing with shields. Huge mistake. LO won't latch without one now. I can no longer wear the small shield because my nipples are so swollen it won't fit, so I tried the 20 and 24mm shields and he cannot get enough traction to express any milk whatsoever. I have bleeding cracks and yellow exudate on my nipples, so even if LO Would latch, the pain of his tongue thrusts makes me scream and sob. YEsterday LO was inconsolable use to hunger.

After several days of trying to push through, we've made the difficult decision to try to pump. But I cannot pump enough in one sitting for a 2 oz feeding. I am one bottle away of being out of breast milk, so it looks like formula is in our future.

I am beside myself today. Very tearful. I feel like a total failure. To those with similar experiences, how did you finally accept this? It feels like I am grieving a loss.

mkanderson85 · March 2013

With dd1, I nursed for 6 months. I went through hell to do it and I was unhappy a lot of the time, but I did it. Also, as a side note, she was one of the sickest infants ever! I swear, she was always ill.

With this one, I gave up at 1w2d.

nanabanana06 · March 2013

I hate the mindset that formula is evil. It's not. I think it's silly to get upset over feeding your kid. BFing doesn't work for everyone. I went through similar things with DD. I felt guilty cuz I thought I had to. This time around I tried, he never gain

DublinMama · March 2013

Please don't beat yourself up too much. I went through almost the exact same thing. DS couldn't latch or suck at birth, which caused us an extra stay overnight in the hospital, using the SNS, and then the nipple shield. At one point at the hospital I had

mnj05 · March 2013

I felt the same way just before throwing in the towel and going to formula. I talked it out with DH and he made me feel so much better and I decided to tell everyone my supply had never really come in, which is half true I didn't ever have a lot.

cmhicklin · March 2013

There is nothing wrong with either pumping or using formula!

JJsMum · March 2013

DublinMama:
Please don't beat yourself up too much. I went through almost the exact same thing. DS couldn't latch or suck at b

Bride-hilda · March 2013

I can completely understand your despair as bfing provides a bond as well as milk. For me, it's more about that bond. After carrying my son for 41 weeks, I need him to need me. So I can understand the pain you're going through, but please don't beat yours

RussianMommy · March 2013

keep in mind that it's only been 1 week. It can take several weeks for you and baby to learn how to breastfeed. See a LC if you can. If breastfeeding is important for you, then don't give up. It's always hard when you first start out, but tons of women wi

VPGIRL06 · March 2013

I don't share the same feeling of loss, because I didn't have strong feelings for BFing. However....my main feelings regarding feeding was that I just wanted what would make my LO happy and fed and content. And BFing wasn't doing that, she was miserable,

ArmyWife114 · March 2013

I could have written this almost exactly. I have flat nipples, DS never learned to latch, the LC would not let me try a nipple shield, we had to stay an extra night in the hospital. I exclusively pumped for about 4 weeks, and did a combo formu

MrsT0514 · March 2013

OP, I feel for you, I really do. IME, after 3 weeks of unbelievable frustration, low supply, nipple shields, working very closely with an IBCLC, being unable to pump more than an ounce and half combined out of both breasts, and all that jazz, I found out

kellyrn9956 · March 2013

Thank you all so much.

monalua · March 2013

No matter what you have not failed! I second what others have said, it's only been a week, if you aren't ready to stop trying yet I would meet with one or more lactation consultants ASAP and also find a Le Leche League leader and group near you ASAP. I ha

jwebb0512 · March 2013

I think it's terrible as mothers we criticize each other so much! We need to be there to support each other instead of beat each other up! I went through the same thing with DS. He had weight gain issues, which caused us to have to supplement. &nbsp

TSimpsy07 · March 2013

I've dealt with a lot of guilt over not breastfeeding and I believe it's due largely in part because of the pressure put on by society and peers. Some women make you feel like less of a mother and its unfair. Seek the bond by holding your baby close and s

lkm2006 · March 2013

I have both BF and FF and I can say, without a doubt, my bond is stronger when in FFing or using a bottle.

I had no problems BFing, great latch.. Good supply.. But it was such a nightmare trying to feed him and have a 1 year old running arou

Pink253 · March 2013

2013mommy:
I had a very similar experience with DS. I found BF so emotionally and physically draining that it got to the

solemnlyswear · March 2013

Thanks so much for posting this and for all the great responses. I have been really struggling this past week. When DS was in the NICU and I was pumping all the time I amassed a large stockpile but when he came home my supply dropped and now we are at the

zonagirlie · March 2013

Take heed! I was only able to bf for a week, while in hospital. I had a lactation consultant and all but no luck. Baby is tongue tied and has a high palate so theres nothing I can do. I pump exclusively now and it works. It's a pain and time consuming and

sara7238 · March 2013

I'm not sure I've totally accepted that breastfeeding hasn't been working perfectly since I'm doing both breast and formula feedings and just started domperidone to try to increase my milk supply, but I am starting to feel a little better about the for

acesup · March 2013

i never BF with either child so i cant share any experience with you, but i wanted to say that you are not a failure if you do supplement with formula or stop BFing altogether. i know a lot of people have these feelings when BFing doesnt work out, i ob

NBBride05 · March 2013

I am so thankful I found this thread because I have been feeling down for such a low supply. I have been FF and pumping (20 ML per pump). I felt like a failure, but feel renewed after reading all these posts. I am going to keep trying to give a little eac

Cranang · March 2013

My milk never came in. Neither time (which I was thankful for the first time). I tried everything but I literally had a drop or two of colostrum while I was pregnant, and then NOTHING afterwards. I got a lot of grief for this from peo

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