Mother Vent. NBR just losing my mind

My mom is currently in the throws of a divorice from my sick, alcoholic perverted step dad.  She should have done it years ago, like maybe when I was just out of college back home at 19 and she caught him watching me in my room after I took a shower (gross) and instead of dealing with him, she threw me out of the house.  The man pulled out his own tooth at a bar because they are all already falling out because of the drinking and smoking.  ANYHOO.  I keep reminding myself that I am an only child, and almost all she has so I try so hard to be understanding.  But lately all she has done is criticize me and spew hate about my father (who she has gotten along with until she decided to get mad all over again about a car loan he defaulted on 20 years ago).  She makes fun of Archer's name because we named him Archer Thomas (Thomas being my dad's name) saying things like, "well if you were going to name him after your father you should have named him ArchiBALD"  just nasty things like that.  Then DS1 was grounded for the weekend and she was coming here to watch them for a few hours on Sat.  and when I told her before hand he was grounded she said "That makes me not even want to come".  REALLY!?  you know you have TWO other grand kids you can enjoy right?  Then when she got here she started commenting on the floors dh installed while I was in the hospital and criticizing that it was buckling here and the cut there isn't how she would do it.  I wanted to pull my hair out!  Her house is FILLED with furniture she doesn't need, half finished projects,  I just wanted to ask her when she was going to get floors in the addition she had done 11 years ago. She is also constantly telling me how good my ADHD DS1 is and how terrible my DD is when she watches them, he is 7 and she is almost 3, she doesn't watch DD so she gets into things while she is trying to do some involved craft or activity with DS1 for an hour.  I wish I could blame that on the divorce but she has always been so critical.  They're has never been a time in my life I didn't think I was fat because she would always tell me I was gaining weight.  She isn't even allowed to take our kids anywhere when she watches them because she left them alone in the front of Target because she was mad at DD for losing her hat so she went to look for it and just left them there!  Then she didn't come see Archer until this sat when she watched them, we live a half hour away, but she drove an hour and a half to pick up her soon to be ex husband when his car broke down on his way back to TN...  My mind is blown.  I just don't know what to do with her anymore.  

Sorry so long and rambling, I am just losing my mind.