NBR: Pre-Engagement Tradition

CNJ4EVA · March 2013

Traditionally, it is customary for a man to ask a woman's father for permission or his blessing to propose to his daughter. My father is not in my life, so this was a moot point in my case.

Just curious if this is still in practice or if it's gone the way of the father of the bride paying for the wedding.

If you're married, did your H ask for your hand?

Lolalipsy · March 2013

Yep, my H asked my father. I think my Dad said something along the lines of if she says yes then I'm happy for you both.

TradeMama · March 2013

Nope... My dad isn't around and my family doesn't play a huge part in my decision making. DH considered it and decided in our circumstances it wasn't appropriate.

c-elizabethf · March 2013

Yes my husband asked my father for permission, my dad really enjoyed that.

My family was paying for it but my in laws kept insisting to pay for the reception but my parents wouldn't have it, but my in laws helped with some stuff anyways. &n

MrsJ723 · March 2013

Yes, MH asked my dad. My sister's first husband didn't and my dad totally called him out at the engagement party (I think his feelings were a little hurt) so I reminded MH to ask. Granted we were already technically engaged, but better late tha

metzy144 · March 2013

DH took both of my parents out to lunch to ask their permission to marry me. I think he knew that my mom would have been pissed if he left her out. Plus, it would be both of my parents helping to pay for the wedding so I think it was better that he ask

wcvsb3b5 · March 2013

DH didn't ask my dad. My dad didn't expect to be asked because he doesn't feel like it's a decision for him to make. Not to mention, he would've had some kind of sarcastic reply.

As far as paying, DH and I paid for most of our wedding ourselv

ILoveSnacks · March 2013

No. My dad told us in advance that he didn't care about that tradition, and I was glad. I think his exact words were something like, "Why would he ask me? I'm not the one marrying him."

LaxMOM44 · March 2013

My husband proposed on a trip and when we got back asked my father. I was in the kitchen helping my mom with something so when my dad said yes my husband yelled out " we can tell them now" and that's when we told my parents. Not traditional but we knew my

laurenann82 · March 2013

Nope, in my case all involved parties think it's a stupid tradition, and kinda pointless when the bride-to-be is 29 years old and has been doing her own thing without her Dad's "permission" for almost a decade.

At our wedding my parents pai

AliciaR777 · March 2013

wcvsb3b5:
DH didn't ask my dad. My dad didn't expect to be asked because he doesn't feel like it's a decision for him to make. Not

michelle04us · March 2013

We are currently engaged and he did ask my father for my hand. Plus since my parents are divorced he also asked my mother as well.

jerseygirl81 · March 2013

Nope. My dad wasn't really in my life at that point, and even if he had been, we wouldn't have done that.

KLJ3 · March 2013

My husband definitely asked my dad, more out of respect than seeking any sort of actual permission. [My dad knows full well that I will do what I want anyway.] I guess it was just my husband and my dad in the car, and DH was so nervous that by the time h

MomlovesEloise · March 2013

Yep. I'm not traditional in a lot of ways, but this was one of those things that I thought was very important. My Mom told me the story later and said they mostly hung out and watched baseball, but my Dad tried to throw in a few "what kind of life are you

PumpkinAndThePeanut · March 2013

No. I was almost 30 when we got engaged and living overseas, so i think my H had only met my parents a few times. Plus my H and I paid for all of our wedding.

Nora1985 · March 2013

laurenann82:
Nope, in my case all involved parties think it's a stupid tradition, and kinda pointless when the bridetobe is 29 year

PumpkinAndThePeanut · March 2013

ILoveSnacks:
No. My dad told us in advance that he didn't care about that tradition, and I was glad. I think his exact words were s

Nora1985 · March 2013

laurenann82:
Nope, in my case all involved parties think it's a stupid tradition, and kinda pointless when the bridetobe is 29 year

kaco414 · March 2013

Yup, my husband and 2 brother-in-laws all asked my dad for our hands. My husband is much older than me and I was afraid he would feel like he didn't have to since he's a grown man and all of that but when he showed me that he had "Mr. C's" number in hi

LN1024 · March 2013

No, he did not. Our situation was a little different than most, but looking back, I think my dad was still a little upset. My mom was probably more so, but oh well. We didn't have a large wedding or anything like that, so it was kind of a moot po

botanicalbliss · March 2013

Yes, my DH asked my dad for my hand. I love this tradition. I know it's not for everyone, but I was really glad DH did this.

Beachy730 · March 2013

My H didn't. He said he had originally wanted to, but we were a LDR and the weekend we got engaged we were in H's town. However he knew that he had my dad's blessing when my dad was telling him he could go look at rings at his friend's jewe

snuggle puggle2 · March 2013

Yep, my husband did ask my dad. I could take or leave the tradition, but my dad was very happy he did. We got engaged the day I graduated from college when I still considered my parent's house my house, so I guess it made sense.

hogrefea · March 2013

DH had a talk with both of my parents asking permission before he proposed. It was over 8 years ago and we had already been together for 7 years so I thought it was a little silly. Now I think that it was sweet.

Sydney0130 · March 2013

Yes, my husband snuck away for the day and drove 3 hours to ask my parents. He also asked my brother. My Father wouldn't have been mad if he hadn't, he's very laid back, but my husband is pretty traditional when it comes to family.

ladymay507 · March 2013

My husband asked my dad even though it was pretty much expected after 8 years of dating. Haha. My dad pretty much laughed when he asked and told him that we could do whatever we want. My dad is pretty non-emotional, but I know de

mitzidanny · March 2013

MH asked me first, my parents were out of town... When they came back, MH and his family came to our house and officially asked for my hand in marriage... I followed what I considered was tradition (we're Hispanic) since that's what my sister did...

bhjones1980 · March 2013

No, neither my DH or my brother in law (sister's DH) asked my Dad's permission.

My Dad didn't really expect them too.

pnutg · March 2013

Yes my husband definitely asked my dad and he has said how he expects the same if we have a daughter someday. He's traditional like that. And my dad did pay for our wedding, although DH's parents paid for the alcohol.

BrittKav · March 2013

My father has passed away, so DH asked my mom and step-dad and then he asked my grandpa (my father's father).

aanchor · March 2013

Yes my husband asked my dad but asked him after he had bought the ring and the night before he was going to propose. My dad asked him what he would have done had he said no, haha. My parents also paid for our wedding. I think it just dep

abstar24 · March 2013

My husband talked to my mom (I'm closest to her) and my stepdad before asking me - I thought it was super sweet

I wasn't expecting it (his proposal definitely took me by surprise) and I was even more surpri

ScottsdaleMama · March 2013

My husband didn't formally ask my father for my hand in marriage but they are very close and had already had many discussions about 'when we get engaged/married/etc'. My husband told my parents ahead of time because they aren't the type to spoil a surpris

rebaann · March 2013

My H did not ask anyone but me and we paid for our own wedding.

krismk1 · March 2013

My DH asked both my parents for their permission - I guess I'm a traditional girl but I definitely liked that he did it (I'm very close with my family).

As far as paying for the wedding, my parents gave us a dollar amount and if we wanted a bigge

snowgirl427 · March 2013

We were a little older so DH didn't ask for my hand, but he sent them a really sweet email telling them how he felt and what his plan was. He had them waiting by the phone for me to call right after the proposal. Of course we had dated for 4 years, alrea

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