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Baby shower dilema

kermitekermite member
in 2nd Trimester

My mother in law and mom are planning on a big family baby shower in June.  They asked for a date that I preferred and I told them June 8th because I didn't want it on Father's day weekend due to just recently losing my father (who I was very close with) and people being out of town that weekend celebrating the day.  This morning she calls to tell me they're having it on the 15th and those that can't come with hopefully send a gift to me anyway.  

I don't want to be one of those crazy moms to be and controlling the date but I already know I won't be a frame of mind of celebrating that weekend due to the fact it will be my 1st fathers day without my dad. I'm already tearing up thinking about it.  My mom has already said she would talk to her about it because of my dad.

Not sure how I should approach it. 

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Re: Baby shower dilema

  • KERJFKERJF member

    Let your mom talk to her first - and then go from there. Maybe you dont even have to talk with her because she will listen to your mom.

    Sorry about your father. I would not want to have something planned at that time either in your shoes.  <


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  • lalamakitalalamakita member

    So sorry for your loss of your dad.  I'd say let your mom talk with your MIL.  And try to let them figure it out - of course your mom understands how you feel so should be able to convey that.

    If it stays on the 15th, see if you can cha

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  • carrotcake06carrotcake06 member
    Agree w PP. You shouldn't approach it. Let your mom talk to her and go from there.
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  • JocelynB0911JocelynB0911 member

    My question is why did they even ask you about a date that you wanted to go with if they were just going to go with another one anyways. As pps have said, let your mom talk to your MIL about it.

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  • SaraSKCSaraSKC member
    I agree with what everyone else said, but wanted to add that I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I also lost my dad a few months ago. I'm really hoping to be happy for DH instead of sad about the loss of my father this Father's Day, but DH and I a
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  • kendra223kendra223
    Sorry for your loss. Definetly let your mom approach it. I'm sure MIL will understand.

    Why did they change the date anyway?
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. Hopefully your mom can talk to them about changing the date, but maybe you can do something to honor your father during the shower? Like a moment of silence or a prayer or something special so your guests can k


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  • MrsMcC.10409MrsMcC.10409 member

    I'm sorry about your Dad. I hope this Father's day, though it will be painful, will also bring you happy memories.

    If it helps at all, you can pass this along to your MIL. I threw a baby shower on fathers day two years ago on accident - I didn't

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  • awright1983awright1983 member
    Tell her you are unavailable that weekend. You hope she can pick another date but I not you understand that she won't be able to host a shower for you.
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  • jeapplegatejeapplegate
    I would have your mother talk to her first. If that doesn't work, then thank her for the offer, and let her know its just not going to work for her to throw you a shower.   I There is no way I would put myself through that.  My baby shower
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    I don't blame you for not wanting to have the shower on that day.  If she insists on father's day ( which in my opinion is just a bad decision for everyone), then say thank you for the kind offer but you have plans that day. 
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  • daileymdaileym member
    I am so sorry for your loss. Have your Mom handle it and don't feel guilty at all! I would feel the exact same way and once they hear the reasoning behind it I'm sure they will be understanding. They probably just didn't put it together. 
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  • katiedonicekatiedonice

    A few ideas - after your mom speaks with MIL, if no luck then have hubby talk to her. It is HIS mother and he might be able to make it work out.

    If still no luck, just say no or offer to have it on the Saturday before Father's Day. A lot of

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  • kermitekermite member

    Thank you for all of your thoughts & advice.  My mom spoke w/ her today and they changed the date.  I guess she didn't realize how hard it would be for me that day since she wasn't close her dad and my DH's dad left when he was still in t

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  • kendra223kendra223
    I'm glad it got peacefully sorted out.
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