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Special need family members.....long sorry

Mr&MrsMTAMr&MrsMTA member
in Special Needs

My DH sister has 2 special need children her DD 15yrs old has downs and she has a DS 12yrs old with classic autism. We have a total of 16 nieces and nephews on DH side of the family ranging from 18-2yrs and one on the way. ALL of the kids are afraid of the autistic child he is very unpredictable and my SIL said he has sensory issues so he often tries to hug/squeeze around the neck virtually choking he cannot be around the younger smaller kids alone because he picks them up and body slams them, he has punched the older kids. What my family is having a hard time dealing with is that my SIL cannot control him and will not separate him from the situation because she feels bad for him not being with the family. BUT the family is having a hard time being with him all of our children are afraid of him and do not want to be around him. We try to explain to my SIL that it is not her fault but our kids are afraid its not that we don't want her around but if she is not able to control him we don't feel its right to just stand by and watch out children get hurt or have to chase him around the house to make sure he doesn't touch the other kids. We feel bad cause SIL knows we kinda don't want him around so most of us are less likely to invite her over for parties.

How do you feel as the parent of a special needs child, our family thinks SIL just doesn't understand our side of things because she doesn't have normal children to compare it  to.

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Re: Special need family members.....long sorry

  • Rachel SonnierRachel Sonnier member
    We have been extremely lucky. All of our family members love my son like their own. They understand and are actually extremely helpful. They all know that it's very hard for him when things get too loud, or if other kids are yelling, and they either let m
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  • Mr&MrsMTAMr&MrsMTA member
    I can say there is not a lot of support for SIL situation on DH's side. most of the family has given up on her in some way shape or form. Most of the family feels that she is lazy and really does nothing to help him herself. She allows him to just run aro
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  • Rachel SonnierRachel Sonnier member

    I am so glad that you are thinking about this and in some way trying to reach out, and help you SIL. The fact that you posted here asking about it, speaks volumes. I know you said in your last comment that you "get it," but I honestly don't think you d

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  • Mr&MrsMTAMr&MrsMTA member

    Thank you for the advice, it is very hard for the family I think to get over everything. SIL took a long time to even accept the fact that he was autistic even though the family urged her a lot to see her doctor and get him help. We all did researched

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  • Rachel SonnierRachel Sonnier member
    Original Poster, YGPM :-)
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  • kirbearkirbear member

    Wow.  If all of your family is as supportive as you- I truly feel sorry for your SIL. How would you feel is your child ended up having special needs and your family then treated you this way?  You cannot judge her when you have not walked in

    Kirsten DD 4-7-06
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  • Florak8Florak8

    Based on the OP's most recent post, it appears that the SIL is exhibiting some signs of educational and perhaps medical neglect. To ignore what family members and educational team members are pointing out for what sounds like years, and to allow a chil

    .
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  • mommytoconnormommytoconnor member
    Ok I may get flamed here, but here goes.  I see both sides.  I am a single working mother of a special needs child. He doesn't have the severe issues your SIL kid does, but even with that said, I am consumed by his needs each and every day. I wo
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  • Mr&MrsMTAMr&MrsMTA member
    She lives with her parents so she does get some help from them. Her children are in school 10.5 months out of the year so she does get a break during the day. The pills she pops are for her own pleasure to get high and as any drug addict "to get away from
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  • mommytoconnormommytoconnor member
    If what you are saying is how it really is then I would stop offering to help her.  Sounds like she needs to seek professional help if she is medicating out of a desire to "get high", that is not an appropriate coping measure.  She really could
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  • ridesbuttonsridesbuttons member

    I've read this thread a couple of times.  It took a bit to get past the no paragraphs, poor spelling and grammar.  Oh yeah, and then I had to accept that the OP doesn't have a child yet.  Not yet even a parent. 

    Having said t

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
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  • Assembly_ReqdAssembly_Reqd member
    imageridesbuttons:

    I've read this thread a couple of times.  It took a bit to get past the no paragraphs, poor spelling and gr

    WAY 2 Cool 4 School


    image
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  • Mr&MrsMTAMr&MrsMTA member
    imageridesbuttons:

    I've read this thread a couple of times.  It took a bit to get past the no paragraphs, poor spelling and gr

    Report Reply
  • ridesbuttonsridesbuttons member

    Well, as long as we cleared that up.

    Tongue Tied

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
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  • hopankahopanka member
    Ridesbuttons, lol, yes. Now, its all good. This post makes me sick.
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